What is the deal with Hello Kitty and masturbation? Apparently the same Hello Kitty that makes me want to continuously vomit brings sexual excitement to far too many people – that is the only explanation to the popularity of the Hello Kitty vibrator and the Hello Kitty S&M Love Hotel Room. This goes to a whole new Hello Kitty Hellish level when just the sight of Hello Kitty is enough to bring this sexual pleasure:
I must admit that I don’t understand a good 99% of what makes Hello Kitty fanatics function, but I can safely say that I completely (as in 100%) don’t understand those that have a Hello Kitty sexual fetish. There is something so completely wrong with that idea that is sends shivers up my spine every time I even have to consider it.
I know that all but the most hardened Hello Kitty fanatics are sitting in front of their computers (hopefully not a Hello Kitty computer) staring at the above confession and thinking WTF?!? (if you are even in the slightest bit considering a way to answer why some people might have a Hello Kitty sexual fetish, don’t. You are already over the edge of Hello Kitty fanaticism and any explanation will only provide all of us with worse nightmares tonight).
Yes, I considered this a sign that the world might be ending soon, but realized that that would relieve me from my Hello Kitty Hell suffering which would be much too easy — so not only is it not a sign of the apocalypse, it’s something that some people consider normal. And so another week in Hello Kitty Hell shows that things can continuously get worse than I thought possible the previous week…