While all seasons suck when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, the end of the year is the worst. I know immediately when October arrives because people start sending me stuff like Hello Kitty Halloween costumes and Hello Kitty pumpkins. And that is just the tip of the iceberg of the Hello Kitty Halloween crap that exists out there. To perfectly illustrate this point, I present the exclusive Hello Kitty Build-A-Bear Halloween orange witch:
I readily admit that I don’t get Build-A-Bear. This is probably not much of a surprise since I do not get Hello Kitty and they seem to be about on par with each other when it comes to absolute annoying uselessness. As far as I can tell, you take the dead carcass of a stuffed animal and, instead of ripping the head off and putting the poor thing out of its misery, you stuff it with a bunch of synthetic crap so that it has to suffer for an extended period of time on a shelf in a corner of your room somewhere. Once stuffed, and thinking that its life could never get any worse, you buy it all kinds of ridiculous clothing and accessories (that just happen to cost more than real clothing and accessories) to ensure the poor plush will live the rest of its life in complete humiliation..
Combine this Build-A-Bear absurdity with Hello Kitty and the pain rises to a level that you actually wish you had access to a Hello Kitty gun to be able to put yourself out of your misery. And to think, the Hello Kitty Hellish season has just begun…
Sent in by Elaine