Decor

Hello Kitty Toilet Paper Storage Cabinet

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One would assume that once you have Hello Kitty toilet paper, and a Hello Kitty electronic toilet paper dispenser, you have pretty much covered all the toilet paper Hello Kittification that you can, but remembering that this is Hello Kitty Hell, there is always something else to place the evil feline on. Thus the bright minds at Sanrio decided that there should be a Hello Kitty toilet paper storage cabinet:

Hello Kitty toilet paper cabinet

Hello Kitty toilet paper holder

Hello Kitty toilet container

That’s right. Hello Kitty demands that toilet paper be stored in it’s own, specially designed Hello Kitty themed toilet paper cabinet. It really doesn’t matter that toilet paper cabinets don’t exist or that there really isn’t a reason anyone would need one, but inventing useless items with Hello Kitty on them has never been an issue in the past, so I suppose it makes no sense that they would stop doing so now.

What I do find amusing is that Hello Kitty toilet paper wasn’t used in the photo. Knowing my wife, I imagine that Sanrio wanted to use it, but when they went to try, none of the fanatics that had purchased it were willing to actually unwrap the rolls and ruin their collection (refer to my own experience on this). There must have been a lot of screaming and yelling as to why each person’s precious toilet paper collection couldn’t be sacrificed for the photo. It probably made a hockey fight look like two lovers holding hands strolling down a flower lined lane in comparison, After a lot of blood and guts, they simply decided that plain white toilet paper had to do.

Of course, my wife thinks it would be a great addition to our interior (despite the fact that there is absolutely no place in our bathroom where something like this would fit, but again, small facts like that have never stopped purchases in the past). I know that Hello Kitty Hell is getting bad when I look at this and say to myself that on the scale of things, a completely useless object that will only get in the way and cost far too much isn’t nearly as bad as it could be…

Hello Kitty Hotel Room Video

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The things about Hello Kitty fanatics is that they take something Hello Kitty that is already unbearable like the Hello Kitty hotel room (which one would assume could never get any worse) and combine it into a video with a song that takes it to as yet unknown nauseating level (warning: play the video at your own risk…)

I warned you. After listening to that once, I would rather have to listen to someone scratching their fingernails against a chalkboard for hours on end than listen to that again. Of course, my wife thinks it’s the “cutest thing ever” so it’s only a matter of time before it makes it way onto her playlist – ahhhh, the things I get to look forward to living in Hello kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Urinal Target

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Just when you think that Hello Kitty can’t possibly appear someplace more inappropriate than where she has already ventured, she once again shows that things can always get worse. It’s not often that I’m sent an e-mail with a Hello Kitty product that I’m not sure if I should despise or love — that is the current internal conflict that continues to rage within me in regard to the Hello Kitty urinal target.

Hello Kitty urinal targets

Hello Kitty urinal target

There is something that is just completely wrong about any Hello Kitty item that invades a men’s bathroom which leads me to believe that I should despise this product. That being said, along with the fact that I have to see Hello Kitty every second in every other place that I go, the thought of being able to piss all over Hello Kitty (as she encourages me to do so) has quite a satisfying appeal to it and why I may be in love with this Hello Kitty product.

Of course something like this would never work at home. First off, installing a home urinal, while it would be fantastic from my point of view (and I assume any man’s, really), is not something that my wife (or any other woman) is going to let happen — even if there are Hello Kitty urinal targets. On the off chance that she did, there is absolutely no way that I would ever be able to use it as intended (see Hello Kitty toilet paper).

I can already imagine if I had accidentally come across this myself. After having a few too many beers to drink, I too would wander into a bathroom to relieve myself to find Hello Kitty staring back at me out of the urinal. At that moment one of two things would happen: 1) I’d freak out with the realization that there is absolutely no escape from the evil feline and would immediately be rushed to a mental hospital. 2) I would see my chance to piss all over Hello Kitty, do so and then go back and drink as much as I could so I could do it again and again. This would eventually leave me either passed out at the bar or back at home with the worst hangover ever. Either way, I’d end up losing in the end which is pretty much par for the course when you live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Thanks to Steve who I will definitely go out and have a few beers with (and possible many more) if I’m ever in Spokane just so that I can have the pleasure of pissing on Hello Kitty while being able to justify it even to a Hello Kitty fanatic…

Hello Kitty Christmas Lights Candy Rocks

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One of the things that I have noticed about Hello Kitty is that she takes Holiday specific items and tries to make them generic thus allowing the Hello Kitty fanatic to use the evil feline all year round instead of at only a specific time of the year. It is with this in mind that Sanrio has renamed their Hello Kitty Christmas lights as “Hello Kitty Candy Rocks”

Hello Kitty Christmas Lights

Hello Kitty candy rocks

Hello Kitty Xmas Lights

Hello Kitty light angel

It’s bad enough that they are selling Christmas lights well before Halloween, but even worse that the “candy rocks” theme gives my wife the excuse to use them all year round:

wife: “Look what I bought”

me: “What?” (already knowing that it wasn’t going to be a pretty sight)

wife: “Hello Kitty candy rocks.”

me: “They’re Hello Kitty Christmas lights…” (stating the obvious)

wife: “No, these are candy rocks. They can be used to decorate all different areas of the house. Won’t things look so much better with lights to help brighten the place at night?”

me: “They are Christmas lights. They are meant to be put outside after Thanksgiving.” (hoping that I could avoid them as much as possible)

wife: “Sanrio says they are candy rocks.” (exasperated that I wasn’t getting it)

me: “Who do you believe more, me or Sanrio?” (I knew it was a dumb question as soon as it came out of my mouth…)

So now that she has established that I have no idea what I’m talking about, my wife is trying to decide where’s the best place in the house to display the candy rocks and wondering if she will need more so they can be displayed in each room…just another typical day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Glass Slipper

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As has been noted on numerous occasions, Hello Kitty has no problem venturing into any area in the pursuit of the all mighty dollar. Hey, if a good fairy tale is out there, Hello Kitty is sure to try and Kittify it. That’s the only explanation that I can find for this Hello Kitty glass slipper:

Hello Kitty glass slipper wedding ring pillow

I’m not sure why this particular product annoys me so much. Yes, it’s useless, but as has already been established, so are all items of the evil feline. I think it’s the combination of nauseating Hello Kitty “cutest thing ever” mentality combined with the unrealistic romantic fairy tale love that simply makes me want to vomit. Just thinking about this combination gives me the dry heaves.

And if that hasn’t made you feel more than a bit queasy, it’s time to go and find an empty bucket or take your laptop to the bathroom. Not only is it a glass slipper, it’s also a wedding ceremony ring pillow bringing that into the equation which should pretty much empty everyone’s stomach (except, of course, for Hello Kitty fanatics who will see this as one of the greatest items ever made). When my wife begins to describe items as “precious” rather than “cute,” that is when I know it’s going to be an extra special Hello Kitty Hellish day…

"Maneki Neko" Crystal Doll

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While my wife wants this $66,000 (8 million yen) crystal glass doll, it’s a bit out of her price range which leads me to believe that we should take a vow of poverty (thus making all Hello Kitty goods too expensive for us to purchase)

Hello Kitty Crystal Doll

While making a $66,000 crystal glass doll out of 62,000 Swarovski crystal beads is insane in itself (it shouldn’t come as a surprise that this is currently on display with the Hello Kitty Doghouse at the Mitsukoshi department store in Tokyo), the truly pathetic part is that the reason they made it is because someone is going to buy it (which would be my wife if she could). Since Hello Kitty is posed as a manekineko (a good money fortune symbol in Japan), she believes that if she can get it, more riches will come her way (which is all the more reason I’m happy she can’t afford it).

While it has already been well established that Hello Kitty items are useless, what in Hello Kitty Hell are you going to do with a $66,000 crystal Hello Kitty? Place it in your home entrance and wait for some kid to come over and knock it to the ground and shatter it (hmmm, remind me to suggest to my wife to place it there if she ever decides she can afford one). I mean, at least with the Hello kitty Ferrari you have something to drive around (although admittedly, you can never show your face to any of your friends for the rest of your life…)

Even though my wife will not purchase it, that doesn’t mean that I get to escape from it in Hello Kitty Hell. All I’m going to do is hear about how “beautiful and cute” it is and “if we only had the money for it” for the next week or until some other Hello Kitty items diverts her attention – either way, it only means more Hello Kitty Hell in the future.

Thanks to Kelly who passed this along and should be forced to spend all her money on something like this for even considering sending to me…

Hello Kitty Hotel Room

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The problem going anywhere when you live in Hello Kitty Hell is that the destination is always someplace to see Hello Kitty. While in the past I was able to escape Hello Kitty for a few moments here and there, it is becoming more and more difficult to do so as everything succumbs to Hello Kittification. For example, when we go someplace, my wife wants to stay in a Hello Kitty hotel room and unfortunately, there are more and more of these that exists these days:

Hello Kitty hotel room

Hello Kitty hotel room

Hello Kitty hotel room

Hello Kitty hotel room

Hello Kitty hotel room

Rooms like this are on par with our house meaning it isn’t like escaping Hello Kitty Hell at all. In fact, it’s even worse because the place is new so my wife has to spend fifteen minutes on every single Hello Kitty item in the room explaining how she can incorporate into our own house.

You would think that anyone who was forced to stay in a room like this would at least have the decency to completely trash the place so nobody else would have to endure the pain of staying there, but alas, this never seems to happen.

It’s only a matter of time before my wife attempts to plan a week vacation where we are never out of site of Hello Kitty and the scariest thing about this is that it’s probably possible. Just thinking about it gives me a Hellish Hello Kitty headache…

Thanks to hellosis (via sunflower700) who should have to spend her entire life in rooms like these.

Hello Kitty Flowers

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My wife loves to get flowers, but a dozen roses won’t do. In fact, any bouquet of regular flowers, no matter how beautiful, just doesn’t make the grade. If I ever give her flowers, they have to be Hello Kitty flowers:

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flowers

When guests come over and she wants us to have flowers on the table, they have to be Hello Kitty. What’s crazy is that you can go into practically any flower shop in Japan and they will know how to make these bouquets – it’s downright depressing. There really should be some law that grown men aren’t allowed to buy bouquets of Hello Kitty flowers. There is nothing more embarrassing than walking down a crowded street with something like that in your hands, but it is yet another aspect of my Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by numerous readers…

As if these weren’t enough to make you sick, more photos sent in by reader Linda

Hello Kitty Dear Daniel flowers

Hello Kitty flower bouquet

Hello Kitty Hello Mimmy flowers

Hello Kitty carnations

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flower bouquets

More photos sent in by tricia

Hello Kitty bouquet

Hello Kitty flower bouquet

Hello Kitty flower frame

Hello Kitty heart flower

Update: It keeps getting worse — not only are these available for purchase, there are now tutorials online on how to make Hello Kitty flowers (what the tutorial really should be named is “How to make sure to lose your significant other in the quickest way possible.”)

how to make a hello kitty flower

Sent in by HK Guy

Hello Kitty Toilet

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You knew that it would be impossible for Hello Kitty to stop at Hello Kitty toilet paper and when the Hello Kitty bathtub made it’s presence known, I had that haunting Hello Kitty Hell feeling what was going to be coming next. Of course, my wife thinks we need the Hello Kitty toilet to compliment all the Hello Kitty crap that is already in our bathroom:

Hello Kitty toilet

As a guy, I’m not sure if there is anything more humiliating than going to the toilet, lifting the lid to take a piss and having Hello Kitty staring back at you the entire time. There is just something extremely wrong with that image and yet I see that image becoming a reality in the days to come. Sometimes the worst part of Hello Kitty Hell is already knowing what life is going to be like in the near future…

from yen in the comments…who should be forced to live with a Hello Kitty bathroom for the rest of her life…

Update: You knew that one Hello Kitty toilet would never be enough for Hello Kitty fanatics. Seen at 3 apples by Cindy:

Hello Kitty toilet

and more:

hello kitty toilets

Sent in by shilah