One mans hell with cute overload
When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, it is always extremely frightening to actually get up and walk to the table for breakfast. This is because you could very well wake up to something like Hello Kitty waffles which pretty much guarantees massive amounts of traumatic stress the rest of the day:
One would assume that having the evil feline cut out fruit in the shape of her face and marketing fruit under her own brand (and we aren’t going to even touch the Hello Kitty banana cover) would be enough to satisfy her fruitful dominance cravings, but that, of course, would be highly underestimating what Hello Kitty has in store. She actually wants her face branded into all fruits (hey, if it is good enough for people…) with the Hello Kitty melon as the launching off point:
I have an aversion to any Hello Kitty and pancakes combination since it was the Hello Kitty pancake maker that made me realise that I had entered into Hello Kitty Hell. I can tell you from experience that there is not a better way to completely ruin someone’s day than to serve them up a Hello Kitty pancake:
There was one point that the only thing I hadn’t seen was Hello Kitty pizza and Hello Kitty beer (which, of course, I have since seen). One would assume that this would pretty much indicate that the world was coming to an end and there would be no need to go any further, but that would be greatly underestimating the evil feline and her desire to not only co-opt everything possible, but also every variation of everything. Thus someone inexplicably thought it would be a good idea to create Hello Kitty mini pizzas:
In her never ending attempt to place the Hello Kitty label on anything and everything possible, the evil feline now wants to ruin cookies and milk for the entire world. There is no other explanation for someone wanting to create a Hello Kitty Oreo:
What do you get the Hello Kitty fanatic in your life for Valentine’s Day? Apparently, the evil feline knows exactly what her fanatical followers want — to devour her brains:
Hello Kitty continues her quest to make sure nobody ever wants to eat again (or at least immeasurably suffer when it comes to eating food). Apparently being able to punch faces of Hello Kitty out of seaweed isn’t enough for the evil feline. For those that feel that it is too much effort to punch Hello Kitty’s face (oh how that would be so much better of a sentence if it was being used in a different context), you can now actually buy seaweed that has Hello Kitty on it:
Sent in by Peter
If there was ever really any doubt, it has now been confirmed. Hawaii has officially become an extended island of Japan and has succumbed to ownership of the evil feline (can the rest of the world really be that far behind?). Introducing Hello Kitty Hawaiian chocolate covered macadamia nuts:
Sent in by kerri
Update: Apparently the people at Sanrio know all too well that if they combine chocolate with Hello Kitty, there is nothing that will stop the Hello Kitty fanatic from buying it (at least in the case of my wife). Suffice to say, my wife can’t wait to get hold of this new line of Hello Kitty chocolate macadamia nuts coming out and I see the continued take over of the world by the evil feline…
What should you get a soldier on his birthday? Apparently some people think that a Hello Kitty birthday cake with the evil feline in full combat uniform holding a machine gun is the way to go. Of course, this would include the words that Hello Kitty would undoubtedly be barking out to soldiers in the field if she were in command: “Guts & Drive!”
Sent in by HK Guy (via Artisan Cakes by e.t. – photo used with permission)
It seems that the Hello Kitty beehive bees succumbed to the humiliation of having to be known as the Hello Kitty bees. At the time, Bill Bird was confused about why his bees were swarming even though the evidence was obvious as I explained:
The answer is simple. You’re making the bees live in a freaking pink Hello Kitty bee hive and they figured it out. It would make anybody angry and want to swarm. Of course, as anyone that would think it was a good idea to build a Hello Kitty bee hive in the first place, they try to rationalize the new found aggressiveness of the bees to something else.
