Holiday

Hello Kitty 1974 Finger Costume

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I have a simple policy of not telling Hello Kitty fanatics where they can get the stuff on this blog. That doesn’t stop those that worship the evil feline from complaining and whining. When they realize that their tantrums have little effect on me, they move onto the next stage of trying to bribe me for the information. One Hello Kitty fanatic was so desperate that she offered to send me naked photos of herself for information on where to get stuff (yeah, like that would go over well with my wife…). The latest of these attempts was this costume — with the claim that this is the best Hello Kitty costume ever:

Hello Kitty finger costume

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Hello Kitty Advent Calendar

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I have no doubt that this was created to make sure that the significant other of every Hello Kitty fanatic suffers intolerable agony on a daily basis for the entire month of December as he has to listen each morning to the excited, high pitch squeals of joy about how cute that day’s chocolate blob of feline evilness is. Just saying from my own experience…

Hello Kitty advent calendar

Sent in by Kiki

Update You knew that there could never just be one and that I would continue getting Hello Kitty Christmas crap after Christmas was long over…

hello kitty advent calendar

Sent in by hellokitty_luver

hello kitty advent calendar

Sent in by Hayley

Hello Kitty Christmas Wreath

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If a Hello Kitty fanatic is going to have a Hello Kitty Christmas tree, you know that they are sure to have a Hello Kitty Christmas wreath as well. Now you know the reason that suicides spike during the holidays:

Hello Kitty Christmas wreath

Sent in by Gabe

Hello Kitty Christmas Buying Guide

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I received an email asking me what Hello Kitty item I thought would be safe for a reader to give to his Hello Kitty fanatic girlfriend. The simple answer is that nothing is safe because once you begin buying anything with the evil feline on it, you have unknowingly signed a contract that you are OK with any amount of Hello Kitty in your life. This contract may seem cute and innocent at first, but it won’t take long to see that you have made a deal that is far worse than giving the devil your soul.

The unfortunate reality is that you are probably facing the choice of getting something Hello Kitty or facing the equivalent of sleeping on the couch in a Hello Kitty sleeping bag. While I can’t tell you what would be good to buy, I can definitely tell you what you want to avoid. Here is the Hello Kitty Hell top 10 guide to what you absolutely do not want to buy a Hello Kitty fanatic for Christmas:

10. The Hello Kitty Toaster

hello kitty toaster

Why? It seems innocent enough, but if you give in here, it’s straight downhill into the deepest depths of Hello Kitty Hell for the rest of the relationship. In the annals of time and Hello Kitty couples, by far the biggest regret that Hello Kitty fanatic partners have is that they once thought that the Hello Kitty toaster would make a “cute” gift and purchased it.

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Hello Kitty Thanksgiving Turkey

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The Hello Kitty turkey was bad, but to take it to a literal level is something only a Hello Kitty fanatic would do — and of course, one did. This is why you never want to have Thanksgiving with anyone that loves the evil feline, and I can say that I am extremely thankful that I live in Japan where they don’t celebrate this holiday. Otherwise, I would probably also have to deal with something like the Hello Kitty Thanksgiving turkey:

Hello Kitty Thanksgiving turkey

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Hello Kitty Turkey

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It’s not difficult to spot a child of a Hello Kitty fanatic. I’ve always complained that after Halloween and the evil feline’s birthday, Hello Kitty jumps straight into Christmas, but if this is what Thanksgiving would be like, maybe I should rethink that position…

Hello Kitty turkey

Sent in my Martha

Hello Kitty Xmas Tree

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This is why I hate this time of year. No sooner has Halloween and the celebration of whatever freaking year the evil feline has turned (does it really matter since she still looks exactly the same?) ended that I start getting emails for things like a Hello Kitty pink feather Xmas tree:

Hello Kitty Xmas tree

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Hello Kitty Schoolgirl

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You know that you have lived in Hello Kitty Hell far too long when you take a look at photos like this and immediately say to yourself, “well at least her face mask isn’t Hello Kitty” when in reality any sane person would be running as fast as they could in the opposite direction in fear…

Hello Kitty schoolgirl

Hello Kitty schoolgirl costume

Hello Kitty schoolgirl costume back

Left by Lenette on facebook