Holiday

Hello Kitty Christmas Tree

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You would think that there would be a law against this, especially during the holidays. I mean, seriously, how could anyone really view this as a good idea? (then again, I guess you could make that argument with virtually any Hello Kitty product…)

Hello Kitty Christmas Tree

There is nothing that says Christmas spirit like a tree covered in Pepto Bismol with the evil feline on top. Of course, my wife wants one, but thinks that the ornaments should be Hello Kitty too (see, it can get worse than this photo) If we end up getting one, I’ll have to down as much Pepto Bismol as is covering the tree to keep from getting sick — yeah, I know, it still won’t work, but I have to deceive myself that there is a possibility of hope while living in Hello Kitty Hell during the holidays…

Sent in by kris (via lilitu93) who really should have to dress up like the tree for the remainder of winter for even having the thought that sending this to me would ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Halloween Costume VII

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Oh, you don’t think it would stop at a single Halloween costume sent to me in December, would you?

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

Of course not, this is Hello Kitty Hell. Once again we see Hello Kitty fanatics that are dressing up like Hello Kitty’s twin sister Mimmy (you know that Hello Kitty Hell is reaching all time lows when I am lecturing Hello Kitty fanatics that they aren’t dressing properly as Hello Kitty — damn, someone shoot me and put me out of my misery right now…) whether on purpose or mistake. It really doesn’t matter because to anyone who sees it, it’s terrifying either way…

Sent in by alison who should have to suffer a lifetime of lectures on proper fashion from the evil feline herself for even thinking it was a good idea to send this photo to me.

Hello Kitty Halloween Costume VI

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Yes, it’s December and I’m still getting Halloween costume photos sent to me:

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

I took one look at this and thought, “You know, this looks like a torture device that they would use on terrorists to suffocate them into submission” and the minute I did, it occurred to me that is exactly what Hello Kitty does…combine still getting Halloween costume photos in December with that and it pretty much sums up Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Jenn who should have to wear that mask tied extra tightly at the neck for the rest of the year for thinking it was a good idea to send me this Halloween photo…

Hello Kitty Macy's Thanksgiving Parade Float

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I’m still getting things from Halloween when news like this is sent to me (it is very Hello Kitty like to make one holiday blend into the next so there is never a time when a holiday isn’t being celebrated by her):

Hello Kitty Macys Parade Float

Apparently Hello Kitty has been added to this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving parade. This is something right out of one of a horror movie – could there really be anything scarier than a giant Hello Kitty hoovering over you? Guess who is going to be having Hello Kitty Hell nightmares tonight

Sent in by Mike who should have to spend the entire parade underneath Hello Kitty for letting my wife know about this which has her now hounding me with the idea that we should go to see this…

Hello Kitty Halloween Costume V

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And the Halloween Hello Kitty costumes keep coming:

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

With this note in the email:

haha enjoy this for your rants and raves!!! her name is candi kaboom…and her hobbies include dressing up like hello kitty!!!

There are so many things disturbing about this photo that I’m not sure where even to begin and therefore I think I will simply let all of you comment away. Of course, I can’t leave the post without making one small comment myself – it seems perfectly appropriate that someone named “candi kaboom” would be a Hello Kitty fanatic and why Hello Kitty fanaticism scares the hell out of me…

Sent in by Jill who should have to walk around like this all year as her punishment for reminding me how disturbing Hello Kitty Hell can be at its worst…

Hello Kitty Halloween Costume IV

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It doesn’t seem like Hello Kitty fanatics want Halloween to end and I continue to get more emails of pumpkins (I’ve added a couple more sent in) and costumes:

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

This is what the email said:

I saw some of your other hello kitty costumes so i thought I would send you pictures of mine (it’s totally badass) Though most of the night I didn’t wear it as I was too busy smoking and drinking (are there hello kitty cigarettes yet?)

It took me 47 hours and your website actually inspired me to make it! I really hope the pics show up on your site as I love it 🙂 it’s opened my hello kitty eyes ^^

It’s quite disturbing that any one would spend 47 hours working on a Hello Kitty costume. It’s even more disturbing that anyone would consider Hello Kitty to be “badass” in any way, shape or form. But far the most disturbing part is that my blog is now inspiring Hello Kitty fanatics and their fanaticism – a very sad day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Corpse Esproc who should have to wear that costume everyday as punishment for thinking it was a good idea to send me these photos and prolong my Hello Kitty Halloween Hell…

Hello Kitty Gold Pocket Calendar

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Well, you can’t say that Sanrio doesn’t beat themes to death when they know that Hello kitty fanatics will line up to buy the most useless things. With Hello Kitty fanatics already purchasing the Hello Kitty gold business card, the Hello Kitty gold personal business card and even a set of Hello Kitty gold playing cards, how is a Hello Kitty fanatic to resist the Hello Kitty gold pocket calendar?

Hello Kitty gold calendar

Hello Kitty gold pocket calendar

Hello Kitty gold wallet calendar

The pocket calendar card is covered with 0.6 grams of 99.99% gold – who else but Hello Kitty would charge $57 (6,300 yen) for you to find out the date? Of course, you probably already know why this scares the hell out of me. With Sanrio’s current quest to cover everything you put into your purse with 99.99% gold, it shouldn’t be long before they apply this to the Hello Kitty condom and make a special set of them as well – and that really would be Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Halloween Costume III

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It seems that the Halloween demons led by the evil feline have decided that they will continue to torture me even though the holiday is over. Yet more Halloween scariness sent my way in the form of another Hello Kitty Halloween costume:

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

I image this is a preview to what a Hello Kitty convention would be like and just the thought of it is making the indigestion begin already…

Sent in by Dorian who, like the others, really should have to wear this year round as punishment for extending my Hello Kitty Halloween misery…

Hello Kitty WoW Halloween

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If you thought the Hello Kitty World of Warcraft user interface was as bad as it could get, Hello Kitty once again proves that it’s always possible to get worse. Thus we find that Hello Kitty is now providing holiday themed Hello Kitty Wow user interfaces:

Hello Kitty wow Halloween

This is what makes Hello Kitty so annoying. Not only does she Kittify everything in her path, once she has Kittified it so you think it can never get worse, she’s really only just begun — and that when the different themes start arriving. Is there really any doubt that we will be seeing a Hello Kitty World of Warcraft Christmas theme in the future? Makes you want to run to the bathroom just thinking about it, doesn’t it?

Sent in by grace via Joi’s Flickr Photos, who should have to play all her games with a Hello Kitty theme for the rest of her life for extending my Halloween horror another day and thinking it could be a good idea in any way for me to see this…

Hello Kitty Halloween Costume II

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It was bound to happen. Thinking that I could finally leave the Hello Kitty nightmare of Halloween (costumes and pumpkins) behind and begin to concentrate on what travesties Hello Kitty Christmas has in store for me, Hello Kitty fanatics would have none of that. One felt it was necessary to send me another Hello Kitty homemade Halloween costume:

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

Here is a little advice to remember whenever you have a costume to wear.

1. If your main objective is to make men run away from you screaming in terror, this is the perfect costume for you to wear.

2. If your main objective is to humiliate your partner to no end, this is the costume to wear.

3. If your main objective is to get yourself labeled as a Hello Kitty fanatic, this is the costume to wear.

4. If you want to live a relatively normal life and not traumatize the people you love, this is not the costume to wear.

I would have thought that showing photos of people placing these Hello Kitty heads on cats and dogs would have been enough to send the hint that they also would not be very fashionable on humans, but alas, I once again have greatly underestimated the fashion sense of Hello Kitty fanatics…

Sent in by Rachel who should have to wear that thing around every day of the year for thinking it was a good idea to send the photo to me.