One mans hell with cute overload
There seems to be a growing trend of Hello Kitty fanatics that not only get joy out of the torment detailed on the blog, but also in getting me in trouble with my wife. An email with the title “Hello Kitty plush” arrived in my email box and I made the bad assumption there would be nothing to worry about. So when my wife asked to see it, I didn’t even hesitate. Who would have guessed this would be the photo:
Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:
Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Tattoo
Hello Kitty is no stranger to extremism, so it seems appropriate that there is a Hello Kitty Jihadist plush out there:
How do dogs get back at Hello Kitty for all the evilness that she brings into their lives? Yoshi, a miniature schnauzer, took matters into his own paws and decided that a little alternative sexual entertainment with a sleeping Hello Kitty plush was in order:
Once again the true nature of Hello Kitty fanatics arrived in my email box. Because Hello Kitty fanatics have this strange concept that Hello Kittifying absolutely everything somehow makes whatever has been Hello Kittified cute (hint: it doesn’t), the world end up with disasters like Domokitty:
If you ever see me with a smile like this on my face with that much Hello kitty crap around, you have my permission to take out any of the many Hello Kitty guns available and put me out of my misery. Seriously. (if I was ever caught in a Hello Kitty hood or Hello Kitty T-shirt like that, I would have already done it myself):
Sent in by too many different people (via hello mimi) all who should be forced to live like him for even thinking that sending a photo like this could ever be a positive thing.
Just when I have about given up hope in Hello Kitty Hell, a photo arrives in my email box that brings a smile to my face. Let’s here a big round of applause for the Hello Kitty pincushion:
It was bad enough that pro wrestling decided that Hello Kitty would be a good addition to their lineup, but Sanrio couldn’t let it stop there. That is why you can now purchase your very own Hello Kitty Mexican wrestling mask:
Damn, just damn (shakes head, tries to push image out of mind, feels ice-cream type headache invade brain and no matter what is attempted, the image won’t go away…)
I know that part of living in Hello Kitty Hell is the risk that something will show up in my email that will traumatize me for the rest of the day. On occasion the photo will traumatize me for the week. If it is really horrible, it may traumatize me for a month. I think this one is going to traumatize me for the rest of my life:
There isn’t much that crosses my computer screen these days that makes me jump back in my chair so that it topples over backwards and I instantly want to sear my eyes with hot branding irons, but this did. Damn…someone tell me how I can make this image go away…
Sent in my Lauren who should have to stare at this photo every morning for the rest of her life before she starts her day for thinking for an instant that sending me this photo could ever be a good idea…
I should have known that it was going to get worse (this is, after all, Hello Kitty Hell where things always get worse no matter how bad they may seem). Thus we move from the Hello Kitty pink Christmas tree to the Hello Kitty Plush Christmas tree:
Of course, my wife loves both and is talking about combining the two together (Pepto Bismol pink with lots of Hello Kitty plush and Hello Kitty ornaments — and people wonder why the holidays is the time when people kill themselves…) which would take the entire Hello Kitty Christmas tree to even new Hello Kitty Hell depths…
Sent in by cutesy (via likerogermoore) who should have to live with a tree like that for the entire year (and definitely get a new user name) for even thinking for a second it was a good idea to send that photo to me…