Hello Kitty

Free Hello Kitty Eye Glasses Giveaway

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One of the worst things about my life is that people actually think it’s a good idea to send my wife all kinds of Hello Kitty crap. Believe me, the last thing in the world that is needed around my house is anything with the evil feline on it. In most cases, it’s unavoidable that it enters her collection because I have no idea what has been ordered and what hasn’t, but a few days ago a package arrived with a message on the outside that indicated that whatever was inside was a gift (“A little something for Mrs. HKH”). I stealthily brought it inside and opened it to find the following letter:

Dear Mrs. HKH,

I love Hello Kitty almost as much as you do. I’m jealous that you are able to get so many Hello Kitty products that I can only dream of having one day. The one thing that I do love the most in my collection are my Hello Kitty glasses. Everyone compliments me when they see them and tells me how great they look. I am sending you a pair because I know that you will love them as much as I do!

Meghin

As you can plainly see, they’re quite hideous and undoubtedly created to inflict the greatest amount of pain on anyone who happens to come in contact with the fanatic delusional enough to wear them:

hello kitty glasses

hello kitty bow glasses

In the rare situation when I find myself in possession of something that my wife has no idea about, there is only one thing to do — get rid of it before she discovers it. The preferable course of action would be to take a hammer and let all my frustration loose, but that could leave tell-tale signs which would inevitably lead me to having to spend large amounts of time on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag.

Instead, I will secretly do a little test to see how many of you out there have no qualms of willingly torturing those you love by forcing this painful look on them…

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Toilet With Pink Surprise

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One of the most disturbing aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that it becomes painfully obvious that the people at Sanrio truly believe that if they simply put a bow on anything, this makes that thing cute. That, and the overwhelming fact that they simply can’t leave bad ideas alone, but feel it necessary to double down on them. By doing so, they make what any rational person would believe were the worst possible creations somehow even more disturbing.

So it really should not come as a surprise that at a recent Hello Kitty exhibit that a Hello Kitty toilet would be featured. Of course, the evil feline couldn’t simply leave it at that. Instead, she decided that since there seemed to be so much interest in Hello kitty poo (including in toothpaste form) that it would be cute to leave some with a bow on it in the Hello Kitty toilet (seriously, you can’t make these things up)

hello kitty pink bow poo

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Sand Castle Art

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The problem of living my life is that there is no relief from Hello Kitty no matter the season. It simply seems that things get worse and worse as the years go by with each season getting worse than the last. A perfect example is that in winter there is a snowboard covered with the evil feline, so in summer there would undoubtedly be a surfboard. Since I have to deal with Hello Kitty snowmen in winter, it really shouldn’t be a surprise that now that summer is here, I will have to deal with Hello Kitty sand sculptures:

Hello Kitty sand sculpture art

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Street Car

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Yet again, the evil feline shows that she can’t leave a bad idea alone. After torturing an entire city with a Hello Kitty tram, anyone with even an ounce of sense would have hoped that this eye-gouging worthy sight would never have to be seen again. Of course, Sanrio couldn’t leave those in Europe as the only ones with scarred minds, so they decided to see if a Hello Kitty street car in Australia would have similar effects:

Hello kitty street car Australia

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Maple Syrup

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I guess this really should be expected. With all the types of Hello Kitty breakfasts including pancakes and waffles, you knew that the evil feline wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to make even more money on everyone’s morning meal. So it makes perfect sense (in a horrible, “why am I still living in this world?” sort of way) that there would be Hello Kitty maple syrup:

Hello Kitty maple syrup Canada

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Knife Set

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It’s not often I come across a Hello Kitty product where I’m not sure whether to hate it or love it. The mere fact that it’s yet another product depicting the evil feline produces instant loathing, but if I had to have something adorned with Ms Kitty White, I think the Hello Kitty knife set would be high on the list:

hello kitty knife set

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Pink Goose Vodka

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It has already been well established that the evil feline is more than willing to pimp out anything that she feels will earn her a buck and that Hello Kitty loves her booze, so I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised by this. It seems that a single type of Hello Kitty vodka is not enough — and apparently not kid friendly enough as well. Thus the introduction of Hello Kitty Pink Goose vodka:

Hello Kitty Pink Goose vodka from Japan

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Heart Diamond Engagement Ring

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The danger with ever posting anything on this blog is that there is a good chance that whatever is posted is not the only one that exists with the evil feline on it, and someone is bound to send me other examples to completely ruin my day. While every guy in the universe secretly hoped that there was only one Hello Kitty engagement ring that ever existed, that is unfortunately not the case as can be seen by this Hello Kitty heart diamond engagement ring:

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Flavored Condoms

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I don’t know why I hope that the evil feline will somehow come to her senses and leave her already terrible ideas alone so that the world can have at least a bit of sanity. She proves time and again that she doesn’t know how to leave a bad idea alone. It was horrific enough when Hello Kitty condoms appeared, but apparently the people at Sanrio decided that they needed something a little more. Their solution was Hello Kitty flavored condoms:

Hello Kitty colored and flavored condoms

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