Hello Kitty – Page 72 – Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty Car Rims

September 19, 2007 by onezero

I have avoided talking about our car and the continual Hello Kittification of it lately. The reason is simple. The damn thing just freaks me out more and more every time I look at it. All those little Hello Kitty modifications add up over time and it’s embarrassing to be seen in it. It’s not going to be long before my wife orders a pink paint job on the thing which will be the end of me ever riding in it (even though I opt to walk now if possible). Just to give you a glimpse of where it’s heading, my wife told me that she wanted to buy Hello Kitty car rims for it:

No, your eyes do not deceive you. There are people out there that believe that Hello Kitty car rims are “the cutest thing ever” such as my wife. She thinks that these aluminum rims will add the perfect touch to our car for a mere $900 (105,000 Yen) and be the perfect compliment to the Hello Kitty exhaust pipe. She especially likes that the spokes on the rims have different Hello Kitty expressions including a normal expression, a surprised expression and a winking Kitty. I’m surprised that Sanrio just didn’t go with the classic 1974 version that appears to be flipping you off because that would be much more appropriate for these. The worst part? It’s all part of a normal day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Update: And, yes, it can get worse…

Sent in by stellis

Sent in by Halley

Sent in by Brian

Hello Kitty Jason

June 19, 2007 by onezero

Somehow this seems like a Hello Kitty alter ego that is probably deep within her, although I still think she is scarier without the mask (although the fact that a Hello Kitty chainsaw really does exist is even scarier):

Sent in by duncan (via artist Joseph)

Update: You knew there was no way that the Jason x Hello Kitty theme would ever end with just one item:

Sent in by Rob

Hello Kitty Flowers

June 18, 2007 by onezero

My wife loves to get flowers, but a dozen roses won’t do. In fact, any bouquet of regular flowers, no matter how beautiful, just doesn’t make the grade. If I ever give her flowers, they have to be Hello Kitty flowers:

When guests come over and she wants us to have flowers on the table, they have to be Hello Kitty. What’s crazy is that you can go into practically any flower shop in Japan and they will know how to make these bouquets – it’s downright depressing. There really should be some law that grown men aren’t allowed to buy bouquets of Hello Kitty flowers. There is nothing more embarrassing than walking down a crowded street with something like that in your hands, but it is yet another aspect of my Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by numerous readers…

As if these weren’t enough to make you sick, more photos sent in by reader Linda

More photos sent in by tricia

Update: It keeps getting worse — not only are these available for purchase, there are now tutorials online on how to make Hello Kitty flowers (what the tutorial really should be named is “How to make sure to lose your significant other in the quickest way possible.”)

Sent in by HK Guy

Hello Kitty Vibrator

May 8, 2007 by onezero

I have been trying to avoid writing about this little piece of Hello Kitty Hell for awhile now, but people keep on sending me photos and links to it so I guess I should address it. Yes, my wife does have a Hello Kitty shoulder massager – commonly known as a Hello Kitty vibrator. It happened to be one of the first big hits when she began selling Hello Kitty stuff and didn’t realize what it was actually being used for.

To tell you the truth, the Hello Kitty vibrator gives me the creeps. While some men might fantasize about it, they are definitely not men living in Hello Kitty Hell. Maybe it’s just me having to see Hello Kitty everywhere every second of the day, but the last place I want to see the face of Hello Kitty at the end of the day is where she would be if the vibrator was in use. There is something just very very wrong with that image no matter how pleasing it may be to the woman…

UPDATE: Sanrio has reissued the Hello Kitty vibrator – now in four colors!

Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard

April 24, 2007 by onezero

I knew this was bound to happen because it is, for lack of a better term, so Hello Kitty Hellish. My wife has been adding Hello Kitty computer accessories left and right: the USB powered Hello Kitty keyboard cleaner, the Hello Kitty USB foot warmers, and the Hello Kitty USB lap warmer — so what is the missing element? To start Hello Kittifying the computer itself. She took a big step in that direction when this arrived in the mail…the Hello Kitty keyboard.

Of course, there is no illusion that the Hello Kitty computer pimping is going to stop here. She is already on the lookout for “the perfect Hello Kitty computer” as well as exploring more Hello Kitty computer accessories to add. Which all points to Hello Kitty Hell moving beyond the current reality and becoming a virtual nightmare in the future…

Update: More Hello Kitty keyboards that would drive most people off the computer for life.

Sent in by stacyl (pink keyboard via number657).

Sent in by Vienne via Twitter

Hello Kitty Electric Guitar Amplifier

April 15, 2007 by onezero

Now that my wife is looking at adding Hello Kitty guitars to her collection, it inevitably leads to Hello Kitty guitar accessories. Since I’ve already mentioned that she doesn’t play, nor has any plans to learn to play, why in Hello Kitty Hell she needs a Hello Kitty guitar amplifier is beyond me (but then again, so are the guitars in the first place):

I guess it really could be worse (wow, I can’t believe those words actually came out of my mouth) – if my wife actually did learn how to play the guitar, I would not only have to listen to her rendition of Hello Kitty songs on them, but also to the hours and hours of her practicing them. It really is a sad day in Hello Kitty Hell when I actually feel myself lucky that it isn’t worse…

update: Because everything sounds worse through a Hello Kitty amplifier, multiple models to produce this awfulness were obviously necessary:

Hello Kitty Bento

April 11, 2007 by onezero

It’s cherry blossom viewing season in Japan and so my wife wants to make a picnic and go view the cherry blossoms. Then Hello Kitty Hell struck with a link left in the last post that showed photos of various Hello Kitty obento creations:

I don’t even want to imagine what I’m going to see when I open my bento box next time. You know those scary movies when the main character decides that it’s a good idea to go down into the basement, and the feeling you get when she/he opens the basement door – that “No! No! Don’t do it! How the hell can you be so stupid? You know how horrible it’s going to be down there!” That’s the feeling I’m going to have every time I open up a bento box from now on…which pretty much is on par with Hello Kitty Hell.

From Mrs Muffle in the comments who should be forced to not only make these for herself, but also eat them everyday from now on… (via e-charaben)

Update: One would think that the above Hello Kitty bentos would be enough to swear all others off of creating their own, but that would be greatly underestimating the complete lack of sanity of Hello Kitty fanatics:

Sent in by milli (via akinoichigo)

Hello Kitty Pasta

February 16, 2007 by onezero

Yikes…the Hello Kitty Hell food issue is fast becoming a train with no brakes. It has progressed to the point where I’m not sure there is anything I can do to stop it as my wife finds more and more Hello Kitty food that is not pure sugar. Her latest purchase to prove to me that Hello Kitty can be healthy is a box of Hello Kitty macaroni pasta. Even worse, it comes in a decorative Hello Kitty jar so even after the pasta is gone, there will still be more Hello Kitty in the house:

Sitting down to a meal with Hello Kitty food on a Hello Kitty plate pretty well sums up the Hello Kitty Hell I’m living in. Why don’t they invent a Hello Kitty garbage disposal…that might be something Hello Kitty I could get into…

Update: I thought that moving away from Japan would allow me to escape Hello Kitty Hell pasta nights — apparently the evil feline was having none of that making her way into foreign countries:

Sent in by ralph (via sooperkuh)

Sent in by sybill

And of course someone had to make homemade Hello Kitty pasta as well…

Sent in by itgirl

And now there is Hello Kitty organic pasta:

Sent in by asianbanker

Hello Kitty Microwave

February 13, 2007 by onezero

My wife has gotten it into her head that we need a new microwave oven. I think this is an extension of the “can we eat only Hello Kitty food” craze that has weaved itself into her head (I can tell that this is not going to end well in Hello Kitty Hell). Her only problem is that our current microwave works perfectly at the moment (she’s struggling to come up with an answer for this) — something she is determined to solve because she found something that she really wants – the Hello Kitty microwave oven.

It’s gotten to the point in Hello Kitty Hell that I no longer like walking into the kitchen and if our current microwave decides to break, it will be all the worse…

Update: Of course, there are more. Now if we could only find a Hello Kitty microwave where we could place the evil feline inside:

Left by Becky on Facebook

Hello Kitty Love Hotel Bondage

January 18, 2007 by onezero

There is Hello Kitty Hell and then there is Hello Kitty HELL – I have nightmares about something like this. The Morning News ran an article about Japanese Love Hotels with photos including the following of a Hello Kitty S & M room:

I can think of nothing worse (although I’m sure my wife will think of something) than being chained down to a Hello Kitty covered bed with Hello Kitty all around. My wife, seeing these photos, has decided that we must go to this love hotel since it is located in Osaka which is fairly near to us – I am hoping (most likely futilely) that the hotel has gone out of business since the photos are dated 2004. I’m not sure even I would be able to recover from a Hello Kitty Hell experience like that…

Photo Source: The Morning News