There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers, Hello Kitty pasties, Hello Kitty handcuff nightmares and the Hello Kitty love hotel all exist, it shouldn’t be a shock that a Hello Kitty bandage sofa exists:
One would assume that after the Hello Kitty latex bed there would have been enough Hello Kitty kink for the week, but then that would be greatly underestimating how much Hello Kitty loves her sex. This was made readily apparent when I found out that the Hello Kitty S&M love hotel existing was not enough, and someone felt it essential to build another Hello Kitty bondage room:
There seems to be a growing trend of Hello Kitty fanatics that not only get joy out of the torment detailed on the blog, but also in getting me in trouble with my wife. An email with the title “Hello Kitty plush” arrived in my email box and I made the bad assumption there would be nothing to worry about. So when my wife asked to see it, I didn’t even hesitate. Who would have guessed this would be the photo:
It’s really not like we need any more proof that there is something extremely wrong in the world. Just going through a few pages of this blog will make that abundantly clear. But for those who may have reserved a tiny space in their mind with doubt, I assume this will thoroughly erase it – Hello Kitty pasties:
I knew I had another Hello Kitty Hellish day coming when I opened up my email this morning. We already have established that the mixture of Hello Kitty and anything sexy is bound to produce something that is horror movie nightmarish and no matter how hard people try, Hello Kitty doesn’t make you hot and sexy. While Hello Kitty fanatics can’t seem to comprehend this universal truth, the following photo once again proves the point in the worst of ways:
I have been trying to avoid writing about this little piece of Hello Kitty Hell for awhile now, but people keep on sending me photos and links to it so I guess I should address it. Yes, my wife does have a Hello Kitty shoulder massager – commonly known as a Hello Kitty vibrator. It happened to be one of the first big hits when she began selling Hello Kitty stuff and didn’t realize what it was actually being used for.
To tell you the truth, the Hello Kitty vibrator gives me the creeps. While some men might fantasize about it, they are definitely not men living in Hello Kitty Hell. Maybe it’s just me having to see Hello Kitty everywhere every second of the day, but the last place I want to see the face of Hello Kitty at the end of the day is where she would be if the vibrator was in use. There is something just very very wrong with that image no matter how pleasing it may be to the woman…
UPDATE: Sanrio has reissued the Hello Kitty vibrator – now in four colors!