Hello Kitty Airplane Coming to US

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, EVA Air has announced a new jet route which will bring a newly designed Boeing 777-300ER Hello Kitty plane to the US by way of Los Angeles. the new route begins September 18, 2013. For those of you who thought that Europe has escaped this catastrophe, they may have done so only for a brief moment. The airline has expressed its desire to torture European countries with an evil feline plane in the future as well.

As if the plane itself isn’t bad enough, EVA air has announced that they will be inviting a group of fanatics to fly on this maiden flight who will be able to get on-board autographs from Yuko Yamaguchi, guaranteeing that the plane will be the absolute worst place that anyone could ever imagine being. In fact, if the government was smart, they would require that any known terrorists be placed on that flight because there seriously couldn’t be any worse torture dealt upon a human being (of course, this can’t be done because even terrorists have some human rights).

Hello Kitty US airplane Los Angeles

I guess all we can do now is hope the pilot takes pity on the rest of us and wanders into no-fly-zone airspace and gets the plane shot down, but that would indicate that there is actually hope in the world dominated by the cat-with-no-mouth. Everyone, take out the barf bags because you’re going to need them.

Hello Kitty Terminator Cake

Well, we all instinctively know that there is nothing close to being soft, sweet or lovable under the skin of the evil feline. So what are you to do if you are given the unfortunate task of making a cake that shows what you’ll find under her matted fur? You make exactly what you imagined you’d find, and that would result in something along the lines of a Hello Kitty Terminator cake:

Hello Kitty as terminator cake

Cute terminator cake

Hello Kitty x Terminator specialty cake

Of course, the scary part is that we know exactly that her goal is exactly the same as the Terminator’s goal of world domination, although the mouthless wonder goes about it in a much more cruel and devastating way by inflicting far more pain and cruelty than any Terminator could ever inflict. And the worst part is that this knowledge simply confirms the horror of another average day when it comes to living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Julie (via Between The Pages)

Hello Kitty Fireworks

One would assume that going to a fireworks display would be one of the few places that one would be safe from the claws of the evil feline. Of course, the assumption would be terribly and painfully incorrect. Somewhere, someone decided that creating a Hello Kitty firework would be a good idea (My personal guess is that the person thinking it was a good idea was a Sanrio employee with a one of the many guns in her arsenal pointed at the temple of some poor soul who had to decide between his life and the sanity of the world — and he chose wrong)

Hello Kitty sky 4th of July

Yes, that still shot is a pretty demoralizing statement of where the world has come, but it’s nothing compared to the terror you are going to feel upon seeing these in video:

While an explosion of hot gas that terrifies all those around does do a good job in describing the feelings the cat-with-no-mouth elicits from the vast majority of the human race, seeing it in reality is further proof that there is no escaping her no matter what the event…