Hello Kitty Breast Pump

One of the most disturbing aspects of the evil feline is her insistence of being a part of every bodily function a person has. She wants to be there when you defecate in the form of what you use, what you wipe yourself with (in a a variety of patterns including KISS) and where your waste eventually ends up. Then she insists on being around when it’s that time of the month and when things need to be refreshed down there (and that doesn’t even address those that feel it necessary to decorate –NSFW). Of course, she also wants to be around when any type of sexual activity is taking place (flavored versions as well if that’s what you’re into).

So I guess it really shouldn’t be a surprise that she wants to be there helping you pump your breast milk when that time arrives as well. Yes, that’s right. The people at Sanrio have decided that what the world really needs is both an electric breast pump and a hand breast pump featuring the cat-with-no-mouth.

Hello kityt electric and hand breast pump

As I say time and again, it can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Norma

Hello Kitty Caterpillar

One of the disturbing tendencies of fanatics of the evil feline is that they they go around trying to see her in other things. When Jesus was found on toast, the fanatical throngs immediately felt that the one-with-no-mouth deserved to be treated with just as much adoration. Sanrio, believing their own hype (plus seeing an opportunity to make a buck), decided the only way to rectify the situation was to make a toaster so that fanatics could create Hello Kitty toast on a daily basis.

Just like Jesus on toast, fanatics are now claiming that there is a caterpillar that has been created in the image of the most despised Sanrio character of all time, and they are now referring to it as the Hello Kitty caterpillar:

caterpillar looks like hello kitty

hello kitty caterpillar

Caterpillar with Hello Kitty face

I feel sorry for these caterpillars. If they thought that trying to survive in the wild from being ripped apart and swallowed alive to die in the stomach acid of such predators as birds was horrifying, they have no idea the pain they are likely to endure if they are ever captured by a fanatic. In fact, they will likely wish they had first been discovered by a bird once they find themselves in such a situation. Things will only get worse when the fanatics begin trying to staple bows on them in an attempt to make them look even more like the mouthless cat. It really is a cruel fate of nature when, just because some delusional fanatics think that you resemble a cartoon feline, you are thrust into the fiery pit of Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Marth via The Featured Creature)