It seems that fanatics, for some unfathomable reason, have a desperate need to completely ruin their weddings. Of course, one should realize that the entire affair is going to look like a train wreck when there is a Hello Kitty engagement ring and wedding ring involved. So, when cakes, dresses, and even tuxedos are all likely to be adorned with the evil feline, you know that someone is going to think it’s a good idea to have the wedding shoes plastered with the cat-with-no-mouth on them as well:
There are far too many fanatics out there who dream about wearing a wedding dress covered in faces of the evil feline. Even worse, they believe this would actually be a great way to celebrate a day that would undoubtedly be a preview to the unrelenting torture they plan to inflict on their partner for the rest of his life (we won’t even go into the engagement ring, the wedding rings, the wedding tiara, the wedding cake and all the other assorted excruciating painful crap that will have to be endured). What these fanatics fail to realize is that on that special day, this is what they are going to end up looking like:
When you think about the evil feline, things don’t get much worse than the things that she brands for weddings. From engagement and wedding rings to wedding dresses (with almost every type of accessory in between), you knew that there was no way that she could resist making the bride the object of hideousness by providing the one wedding accessory that would make her look ridiculous. Since Miss Kitty knows that no true fan would dare walk down the aisle without wearing a $30,000 platinum Hello Kitty princess tiara on her head (and that they would also be willing to pay that much for it), she created one:
The danger with ever posting anything on this blog is that there is a good chance that whatever is posted is not the only one that exists with the evil feline on it, and someone is bound to send me other examples to completely ruin my day. While every guy in the universe secretly hoped that there was only one Hello Kitty engagement ring that ever existed, that is unfortunately not the case as can be seen by this Hello Kitty heart diamond engagement ring:
If you have any inclination that your significant other would want a Hello Kitty engagement ring, that is the perfect warning sign that you should run away as fast as you possibly can. If you do not heed this sage advice to run and decide that a Hello Kitty engagement ring is somehow a good idea, you should be well aware that you will likely have to wear a Hello Kitty wedding ring and have a Hello Kitty wedding with her wearing Hello Kitty wedding dresses and you in a Hello Kitty tux (no, it certainly isn’t a pretty thought which has sent more than a few strong souls to the local insane asylum…) Basically, prepare for a life of Hello Kitty Hell.
As difficult as it is to imagine, Hello Kitty fanatics have come up with a way to make even the Hello Kitty wedding ring look like it could be a good option. In their never ending drive to make every guy with even an ounce of sanity stay as far away as possible from them, a Hello Kitty fanatic somehow decided that a Hello Kitty finger tattoo in combination with the “always forever” sentiment of a Hello Kitty wedding ring would be a wonderful idea. Even more unfathomable, the Hello Kitty fanatic was able to convince her significant other that this idea wasn’t completely and utterly insane. Thus he has to live with the Hello Kitty wedding ring tattoo for eternity:
This came in my email today:
My fiance is obsessed with hello kitty and subsequently I’ve been reading your site for a while. First it started as some hello kitty pocky, then cuddly toys and has progressed to so called “designer” clothing and jewelry. But now it has reach an all new level of depravity, as I have mentioned she is my fiance and i love her dearly however when planning the wedding she has let slip that she plans to have hello kitty centerpieces and cake, as well as telling me that once the wedding has been paid for she will be buying some of the “super cute” home appliance’s and furniture.
I understand that there is no hope for you but perhaps you can save the rest of us from your fate! Is there a way to stop the spiral in to hello kitty hell?
All the best
Included with the email were the following photos of his fiance’s wedding folder:
Hello Kitty on anything is a disaster in itself. Give that Hello Kitty item to a celebrity and that disaster only amplifies untold times. Kelly Clarkson x Hello Kitty is a perfect example. I’m not sure what I find more disturbing — the fact that a Hello Kitty garter belt exists or that Kelly Clarkson thinks that a Hello Kitty garter belt should be worn on her head:
Even worse than people asking me to be a Hello Kitty wedding planner is the thought that one day I will have to hear about the concrete plans for my own Hello Kitty wedding. I make every attempt not to write anything about Hello Kitty wedding related stuff because it inevitable leads to trouble. When my wife and I got married, her Hello Kitty fanaticism had yet to kick in, and not having a Hello Kitty wedding is something that she feels is missing from her life. Our Hello Kitty wedding would, of course, include a minimum of at least one Hello Kitty wedding dress (it’s common for the bride in Japan to change into three or four different dresses during the wedding ceremony):
Basically the worst of my Hello Kitty Hell nightmares – the full on Hello Kitty wedding:
If anyone sees me in a situation like this, take out the Hello Kitty shotgun and put me out of my misery.
Sent in by a disturbing number of people — far more than should ever want to watch a Hello Kitty video, let alone a Hello Kitty wedding video.