There are far too many fanatics out there who dream about wearing a wedding dress covered in faces of the evil feline. Even worse, they believe this would actually be a great way to celebrate a day that would undoubtedly be a preview to the unrelenting torture they plan to inflict on their partner for the rest of his life (we won’t even go into the engagement ring, the wedding rings, the wedding tiara, the wedding cake and all the other assorted excruciating painful crap that will have to be endured). What these fanatics fail to realize is that on that special day, this is what they are going to end up looking like:
When it comes to the evil feline, there are few things worse than having to confront her in the early morning before you are fully awake. With the last remnants of sleep still keeping your mind somewhat foggy, there’s absolutely no way to believe anything other than you’re suspended in some intensely bad dream when confronted with Miss Kitty and all her horrors. Knowing this, the Hello Kitty shower head is one of the most evil and sheer terror producing items that she has decided to brand.
When you think about the evil feline, things don’t get much worse than the things that she brands for weddings. From engagement and wedding rings to wedding dresses (with almost every type of accessory in between), you knew that there was no way that she could resist making the bride the object of hideousness by providing the one wedding accessory that would make her look ridiculous. Since Miss Kitty knows that no true fan would dare walk down the aisle without wearing a $30,000 platinum Hello Kitty princess tiara on her head (and that they would also be willing to pay that much for it), she created one:
It has become abundantly apparent that the evil feline (ironically, with no mouth) has quite the oral fixation. With that fact being confirmed time and again, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise (but it doesn’t keep us from cringing all the same) that someone else would think it was a good idea to get a Hello Kitty tooth placed in her mouth:
In her never-ending quest to never leave even the things she does which are horribly wrong alone, the evil feline once again is taking her money-grubbing paws to a new level. While the world cringed with the launch of Hello Kitty x Kiss and assumed that this combination had reached its ultimate low with the Hello Kitty KISS toilet paper, we once again failed to realize that the depths of Hello Kitty Hell can always go deeper — much, much deeper. With this in mind, the masses can look forward to being tortured with KISS Hello Kitty the TV cartoon show (seriously, you can’t make this stuff up)