Hello Kitty: Save Or Smash

My wife announced last night that there are only Hello Kitty fans that visit this blog and my attempt to find others who are in Hello Kitty Hell or sympathise with me has been a failure. “Everyone loves Hello Kitty and it will never change!”

I tried to explain that while it may appear that the readers here like Hello Kitty, it’s only a small minority of fanatics that believe that. In reality, even those who say they like Hello Kitty really don’t. Of course, this sent me to the couch for the night in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag, but it also produced the “Hello Kitty: Save or Smash” contest.

My wife believes that for some unfathomable reason, I haven’t seen the Hello Kitty light and I am the only person that doesn’t believe that everything Hello Kitty is the “cutest thing ever” (“You must have been born with deformed genes” is her current theory). I, on the other hand, know that all the Hello Kitty fans that visit this site really have a deep dark desire to see Hello Kitty smashed into smithereens. So we will let you vote and decide.

Hello Kitty: Smash or Save?

I have secretly kidnapped a Hello Kitty porcelain figure and all of you will decide whether it gets smashed to bits or saved. To the right in the sidebar is a poll and the choice to save or smash Hello Kitty. The voting will last until the end of this month. If more people vote to save Hello Kitty, I will lose all faith in humanity and extinguish all hope that Hello Kitty Hell may someday end, but will still refrain from smashing her and I’ll give the figure away as a prize. If the vote is to smash, I will believe that there is still hope in Hello Kitty Hell and gleefully take a hammer to the Hello Kitty figure. The choice is yours…

Oh, wow! Imagine that. The first vote in the poll is to smash…

165 thoughts on “Hello Kitty: Save Or Smash

  1. Although the porcelain figure is ungodly cute, there is a point to be made and sadly, this must be used as sacrifice.

    Smash it.

    Gently though -_-;

  2. Smash!

    I love your blog. I’m not a Hello Kitty fan, my daughter has some HK stuff and it’s ok but I can’t imagine what hell it would be if my home was full of it. A little HK is cute but at your level it seems like torture!

  3. i can’t believe i voted smash!!!
    i am a hello kitty fan and my bed sheets are all hello kitty and i love hello kitty. and yeah my dad went to asia recently and i asked him to buy me hello kitty ramen…my backpack is hello kitty also and so is my umbrella. everyone knows that i love hello kitty.
    but for some reason i kind of want to see hello kitty being smashed and tortured.
    i guess i am evil just like hello kitty

  4. I am really disappointed in all the people that call themselves Hello Kitty fans that have voted to smash Hello Kitty. She represents kindness and purity. Why would anyone want to do something so evil to her? I hope the true Hello Kitty fans unite and keep this tragedy from happening. It’s a sad day when people want to smash Hello Kitty.

  5. SMASH!!! SMASH SMASH SMASH!!!

    Then smashed the smashed bits and stomp on them!!

    SMASH!!!!

    and don’t forget to post pics

  6. Hello kitty is meant to have fun with, and that leads not to the question of “Smash or Save”, but “How can I smash this and get the most enjoyment out of it??” You need a second vote on that … A few suggestions for methods I can think of include “Rolling it over with a steamroller”, “Jumping up and down on it doing the smashig yourself”, “Explosives”, …

    And please, post the video πŸ™‚

  7. As much as I do enjoy HK (and the figurine is cute), you need to make a stand and smash that sucker!
    Just wondering…have you ever thought of starting your own obsessional collecting of some manly stuff to drive HK out?

  8. Smash it! Liberate yourself from the hello kitty madness my brother! Strike a blow against the harpies! My GF subjects me to hello kitty hell as well. This one broken figurine could be the first strike to stem the tide of darkness known as hello kitty madness, and when the men rise and burn the hello kitty theme park to the ground your name will be chanted to the heavens as the broken hello kitty fanatics gaze in horror at the realization it all came from one small act of defiance on a web blog. DO IT DO IT NOW

  9. Shame on you! How would you like it if someone took something you loved and threatened to smash it? I understand your plight and it’s a bit selfish of her to take over your life like that but still, that’s not right to do something like that. what if she cries? could you stand that you monster!

  10. Are you prepared to sleep on your front lawn without a sleeping bag lest your wife discover you have taken hello kitty mermaid and smashed it up to prove a point? Cuz if you are then you are a brave man and I applaud you! However being a devout follower of Hello Kitty, I must implore you please please please leave mermaid kitty be.

  11. SMASH!

    Also, I dunno… I’d have some serious issues if my spouse was this obssessed with a commercial gimmick. It seems a little weird that you won’t put your foot down, dude.

  12. Hello Kitty is cute, but people who take the personification of a noseless anthropomorphic cat way too far really scare me.

    SMASH!

  13. OK I looooooooooooooooooove hello kitty. I owe a hello kitty coffee pot for god sakes but that figure is ugly….

    Smash it……

  14. I just want to say I am sympathetic to your plight. I am the wife who is “obsessed” but “realistic” about my addiction. While I love HK, I do not subject my husband to home decor of HK. I do have a waffle maker, but it is not prominant in the kitchen. I do have a basket- but it’s on my desk, not his. There are 2 blankets on the couch- a grey one for him and and HK one for me- which he bought! While I’d love to doll up the house in pink and HK, I’d be sad if he made the place look like a Lord of the Rings/Star Wars nerd hut. So we share. It is possible, I assure you.

  15. I’m a fan and LOVE your site. (But I am also grounded in reality, so I try to find a balance in life.) Thank you for hello kitty hell!!

  16. I just don’t have the heart to smash something so cute. I’m afraid I have to try to save her.

  17. Oh, I know the pain you must be in — my husband lives in a similar cutesy hell. But I cannot condone the smashing of the kitty.

    I do, however, love the person who wondered if you were gonna smash it w/a Hello Kitty hammer. Teeeee!

  18. Though I have no problem with Hello Kitty herself, I feel (a more moderate version) of your pain, having grown up in Mickey Mouse Hell. Smash away.

  19. NOOOO!!!! SAVE – Save – Save

    “OMG, That is the cutest thing EVER!!” will no doubt be a recorded in the annals of Hello Kitty. Which i’m sure will also become a major field of study at some univerity.

  20. Rofl! Best post ever!

    I think anyone who feels that HK represents purity in the world is demented.

    Flipping smash the bugger.

    I enjoy HK.
    But to see a video of you pumaling HK with a hammer would be sweeter.

  21. I love hello kitty… as long as it is NOT one of your wife’s fav, I say smash… it may feel liberating and take away your hatred of Hello Kitty… or maybe not… in that case I think you BOTH will need help.

  22. smashy smashy…I just have this weird habit of torturing myself in odd ways…boybands, viral videos, HelloKittyHell, etc… Hence why I’m here so yes your wife wrong, bye bye kitty

  23. Hello Kitty does not represent fun, love, purity, joy or whatever.

    Hello Kitty represents making a lot of money from people too daft to realize that paying money for a *banana cover*, just because it has a poorly rendered picture of a cat on it, is incredibly stupid. Hello Kitty an excuse to charge three or four times the realistic value of an item based soley on the likeness of that cat on the side. Hello Kitty is a walking representation of deranged and rampant cosumer culture. So, while this is one of the least offensive HK items I’ve seen on this site, I vote smash it. Hopefully with another fragile HK branded bauble.

  24. Sarah, his wife makes him sleep on the couch if he doesn’t professing intense love for a cartoon cat. I don’t think he’s the one who needs a life.

  25. SMASH IT AND POST A VIDEO! I’m serious. its a painfully common piece of hello kitty junk. It will probably end with you spending a good year on the couch but i say its worth it. crush that little porcelain figure and burn the dust with a blow torch.

  26. SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!

    If nothing else it’s small retribution for your wife making you live in such a god-awful nightmare of cuteness. HK’s fine and cute, but when it takes over your life to become the dominant force in your life, to the exclusion of the needs of your spouse, it ceases to be cute and becomes a problem.

    I understand collecting, but truly, this is out of hand.

  27. I say you smash it by sending it to the Will It Blend folks. πŸ˜€ That I’d LOVE to see! Wheee, Hello Kitty going round and round and round inside a blender, mwahahaha.

  28. my god……SMASH IT PLEASE!!!!!!a few things hellokitty’s fine with me…but everything hellokitty? it’s just plain ridiculous….. poor you…..

  29. I am the mother of two pre-teen girls.

    SMASH! SMASH! SMASH! Smashysmashysmashy smash smash to itty bitty kitty smithereens.

    With video, please.

    (I second the vote for “Will Hello Kitty blend?”)

  30. Smashing the helpless Hello Kitty figure doesn’t save you from a hell.
    Instead, it will send you deeper in the hell.
    Mercy on her, please.

  31. Smashy-smashy. πŸ˜€

    I used to like Hello Kitty before she’s RIDICULOUSY whored on every unnecessary item possible (the banana cover-dingie nearly killed me). Just got sick over the over-saturation of cuteness and for that you have my condolences.

    OoOooh, a video of this sacrifice would be most awesome! X)

  32. Smash the damn thing. I don’t understand the fixation with Hello Kitty. In an adult, it seems immature and sort of unhealthy, and in a child it’s just obnoxious.

    My four year old saw a Hello Kitty DVD at Target the other day, and she’s desperate for it. So far, I am refusing, but I suspect that it’s only a matter of time before some sucker of a relative buys her one.

  33. Even though I love Hello Kitty, I would not force her upon anyone who does not feel the same way. So if it makes you feel better, SMASH HER!!

  34. Hmm..
    Although I am an avid lover of all (most) things cute from Japan, I’ve really never been able to stomach hello kitty, it’s just something about her that makes my skin crawl. I can’t for the love of god figure out what it is.
    Maybe its the bow, or the freaky coloured nose.
    Also, what is this about hello kitty representing love and kindness or whatever.
    I’ve never heard of something so rediculious..
    She represents Saniro and all the money they’re making on putting her goddamn face on everything. All the while they make you think she represents love and kindness to get the money out of your wallet.

    May I suggest your wife look over something much cuter?
    Characters like Mamegoma happen to be my personal favorite (A little seal character, actually looks like a baby seal, no freaky bows).

    There are no such things as cat mermaids. Smash that atrocity.

  35. 1. hkfun is your wife, right?

    2. You guys do realize that she’ll NEVER let him smash it, right?

    3. Speaking as a mild Hello Kitty fan (which is to say, I think she’s cute, but have very little HK merch), I read this site because it’s funny to see just how much marketing there is for HK, including random shit like vibrators, guitars, bento boxes, frigging banana covers, etc. However, it is funny, AND also frightening. HKHGuy, you have my sympathies, because she has got a lot of overkill going on. In short, can’t I like the kitty AND sympathize with you? Because I do.

    4. That said, even though my heart wants to say, “Save the kitty and mail it to my house and claim you smashed it,” I must vote to smash on principle. Because your life is already hell, dude.

  36. havning RUN Sanrio stores for years…theres some weird part of me that gets all riled up and needs to do a world of ‘hurtin” on the kittymeister…years of selling it? Collecting it? Promoting it? I don’t know…but whatever it is…i don’t dig the mermaid kitty..LOL..;.When she was licensed out to Target then everywhere else was the start of the end for me…

    That being said..I am INUNDATED with scads of kitty paraphanalia here in my apt..I don’t seem to be able to get rid of it…does it have a satanic hold on me? Her hypnotic eyes stare me down…somebody help me!! I need to divest myself of her grasp on my soul!!!

  37. Save Hello Kitty! She is an innocent bystander in your strange marriage. Succomb to the cuteness and liberate yourself from hate.

  38. Save it…Send it to me, I’ll gradly take it out of your hands…send send send…yeah I like my option better

  39. SMASH IT! Smash it into a million little pieces and scatter the shards to the four corners of the world! Or to the four corners of your house, whatever.

  40. You have lived a life of pink and frilly things. There’s just some things that shouldn’t be overdone. Smash her and post pics. I bet you’ll feel better lol…at least until the wife makes you sleep with the hello kitty sleeping bag on the couch for a year.

  41. NOoOoOoOO~~~~~~ Do not do it!!!!!

    Do not let Hello Kitty be smashed!! Why are all of you asking him to smash such a lovely porcelain figure!!??!!?

    I mean, if it were a copy knockoff of Hello Kitty products, by all means, smash,burn,destroy; but this is not one, right? πŸ™

  42. Douglas…I’m with you…Marry Siouxie…although she isn’t that bad, it’s bad enough. *smash the damn thing*…but I have a feeling that won’t kill it. It’s kind of like “talking tina” from the twilight zone…

    I emailed out to all my friends and my wife didn’t speak to me that night!

  43. I know it’s needless, but it would be cathartic for at least one person out there to see it shatter to pieces besides you . . .

    See, because of your site, I see Hello Kitty! paraphernalia and think “Does Hello Kitty! Hell Guy have to dodge *this* in his home?” It’s like being shown a Gremlin then being cursed with the ability to spot them everywhere. Hello Kitty! jewelry, lamps, bed-and-bath, birthday decorations! Hello Kitty! pinatas! Hello Kitty! toys and games and gift containers and wrapping paper and a wedding dress . . . and . . . and . . .

    AAAAAAIGH! I live in Spot-the-Hello-Kitty!-for Hello-Kitty!-Hell-Guy-Hell!

    Sadly, I’m not immune. I own 3 Hello Kitty! related items:

    (1) I own white and blue porcelain Hello Kitty! head beads, made by Blue Moon beads. I put them on hemp necklaces and send them to people who care.
    (2) I own a tanned Hello Kitty! Hula plushie, but it has no nose because my dog ate it. This was over a year ago, and Hello Noseless Kitty! has been gathering a thick layer of dust while I forget to replace the nose with a bead and send her to someone who cares.
    (3) I own a rare copy of Hello Tarot! by Joe Rosales in pristine, never-been-cast condition (just thumbed through gently). That I’m not parting with simply because I’ve never seen anything like it before or since *and* it was a gift from a close friend, the same person who I replaced the plushie for and take to buy out the supply of Hello Kitty! head beads at my local JoAnn Fabrics store when she visits. And yes, many of the cards are much, much cuter than the sample cards you can find online. My favorites are the ones with Pandaba, which I would collect if given the opportunity. Sadly, whenever I’ve asked for Pandaba stuff from Hello Kitty! merchants, they either look at me crazy (at which point I explain that Pandaba is the angry panda in the skirt, making me feel even less sane) or they tell me that the angry punk-rocker penguin is the only evil character who is allowed a following in Hello Kitty! land.

    If your wife is sad the Hello Mermaid! got smashed, I can send her a noseless Hula HK! she can sew a new nose on. Maybe a HK! head button, so it will be meta Hello Kitty!-riffic.

    All I ask is that you please consider putting Hello Mermaid!’s execution on YouTube when you do it . . .

  44. As much as I love and adore Hello Kitty, I have to admit I’m curious to see the consequences. Besides, itÒ€ℒs about time you finally stand up to HKhell! SoooÒ€¦. I vote SMASH!

    PS: I love your blog, it always makes me laugh! :3

    I have an ongoing battle with a friend of mine, Hello Kitty vs. Snape: http://almostlifesized.livejournal.com/3523.html Maybe the picture she posted there will make you feel better. πŸ˜›

  45. from what i see here in the comments section…and the vote counts….
    I say there are a few hellokitty fans keep voting save using every way they can………

    just smash it…please. i mean…it’s such a useless piece of hellokitty product anyway… I’d rather have a banana cover if i had to have something hellokitty.

  46. SMASH IT >:E I’ll haunt you if you don’t smash it!!! SMAAAASSSSHHHH IT.

    Better yet, throw it off a 200 story building. ._.;;;

  47. MUST KILL KITTY!!!! I love your website. It is so funny! I think that for your own mental health, you just need to smash that bad boy! However, I do enjoy the thought of an exploding kitty…

    And, I think you should destroy a Hello Kitty on a regular basis. Sometimes a sacrificial offering must be made for the greater good of humanity!

  48. Please don’t smash her!!! How could you be so cruel??? She is so sweet and good…I don’t think you’ll be able to sleep at night if you go through with such a terrible act.

  49. I say save HK. If only for the fear that if my roommate reads this blog, and you are successful in your quest to smash, then my toaster may be next.

    (On a side note, for her birthday one year, my best friend received a pair of goggles, a hammer, and 10 Precious Moments figurines. Perhaps someone should do this for you!)

  50. Hiya My Names Beth ( Age 11),

    My Mum Feels Your Pain I Am A Big Fan Of Hello Kitty And Too Be Honest I Have 67 Things Of Hello Kitty I Think Ure Wife Has More πŸ™‚

    SAVE THE HELLO KITTY FIGURINE OR ELSE YOU WILL GET BAD LUCK FOR 2 MONTHS =]

  51. KILL IT!!!! smash the figurine and take out some of your pent up aggression after years of hello kitty hell.

  52. OMG!!! It’s soooo cute!!!! Please DON’T smash it!!!! It’s adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  53. I am so sorry things are not going well on this poll… please don’t stop posting!!

    (The above Carol is not me, I voted smash!!)

  54. Leave it be. Someone took the time to design that figurine. Someone else made that figurine. Someone boxed it and sent it out to a shop. Someone drove/sailed/drove/warehoused/drove/unpacked it and put it on a shelf. Someone (your wife) took the time to find it and purchase it. Someone took the time to serve her. Someone (your wife) took the time to display it somewhere in your home. Don’t cast their hard work off as a disposable piece of trash.

    Needless destruction of material goods just hurts us all in the end – leads to wasted time, hostile feelings and violence(just the word smash feels hostile, doesnt it) and the purchasing of replacement items (which drains the world’s resources further)

  55. savesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesave

    IN CASE YOU COULDNT READ IT, SAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER EVER SMA** HELLO KITTY

  56. SAVE!!!! Hello Kitty should never be smashed!!! She is way to precious and cute!!! I am one of those girls with the Hello Kitty tattoo, so of course I say………SAVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  57. If Hello Kitty was an animate, living, cat, I would not say smash.
    But I must laugh at all who hesitate to smash an inanimate object. Well, maybe I would hesitate to if the object looked friendly and loving, but I’m sorry, hello Kitty doesn’t look like she has a soul.
    Besides, we should have more pity for this man drowning in Hello Kitty Hell, not for the porcelain figure that inflict such torture on him.

  58. Despite what all the soulless devils decrying your desire to reduce the neko beastie to dust may claim, Hello Kitty is indeed nothing more than a sucking wound on the wallet of mankind. I say you disregard their fiendish ballot stuffing and think of some truly grandiose means of obliterating the porcelain monstrosity. Hmm… how about a load of fireworks up its cute little kitty arse. As a resident of the island nation that tore The Evil One from the lower intestines of hell, I’ll even spring for the explosives. πŸ˜‰

  59. ok, so i voted to save it.. just because i’m not a fan of smashing anything…
    secondly, i think hello kitty is very cute and i enjoy that she is cute. however, having read this blog for a little while, i’ve halted my accumulation of HK items.. primarily because i’m afraid of becoming your wife, yes, i’m afraid of being her… i have determined that my collection of about a dozen unique items is more then enough for me… so yes, you have squashed the chance of me getting out of control. i thank you, and so does my boyfriend..
    ps. it’s mostly because i don’t want to wake up one day and find myself screaming at somebody for wipping their bum with toilet tissue…

  60. Save, obviously. As you can see by the polls more people want her saved. I would gladly take her off your hands, I think it’s an adorable statue. I’d pay, too, not like these mongers who want it for free. πŸ™‚

  61. Hello Kitty is a plague upon humanity and must be eliminated. Dude, you are a saint for putting up with this.

  62. hkfun Says:
    “I am really disappointed in all the people that call themselves Hello Kitty fans that have voted to smash Hello Kitty. She represents kindness and purity. ”

    This friends is why Hello Kitty must be smashed… represents kindness and purity? It’s a cat with a bow people… shatter it.

  63. Hello Kitty MUST be saved at all costs!!!!!! AND – if you were to destroy the little H.K. ceramic figurine, just imagine how many crazed Hello Kitty fans will be after you…. (just joking; but seriously, PLEASE don’t smash it!! it’s SOOOO cute!)

  64. Smash Mickey Mouse.
    Smash Strawberry Shortcake.
    Smash Smurf.
    Smash My Pretty Pony.
    SmashSmashSmash Precious Moments.
    NOOOO SM*** Hello Kitty! Hello Kitty has no mouth. Must save HK.

  65. i might love hello kitty but seriously SMASH it… i know i have a feeling hello kitty fanatics will kill me…. and seriously i like hello kitty but i also understand and pity your hello kitty hell and since i am a very democratic person i think your trying to regain your space because it doesn’t seem like she ever left you one since her fanaticisms * if i misspell sorry* is stifling and denying your freedom of choice… and come on i’m married and i have a lot of cutesy stuff but my husband has a place for her stuff too and it doesn’t seem like you have one…

    SMASH it and regain your balls back….

  66. In the end, if don’t smash wins, you still have one consolation prize. You can tell your wife that your blog are not just read by HK fans. There are people out there with the exact same feeling for HK as you do.

  67. Smash it. Crush it beneath your heel til no trace remains. Eradicate it utterly. Wipe it from this earth as an object lesson in universal balance for all kitty-ists.

  68. Don’t smash it. It is too cute to smash! If you just feel the need to smash something go buy some cheap figurine at a garage sale and smash that! But please spare the kitty! I will buy it from you if you would just not smash it!

  69. Go head smash it! You can always get another one.
    Its just a little hello kitty piece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    So smash it!
    = D

  70. smash it’s brains out so the y leek all over the floor KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HeR pls tape & blog PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  71. why on earth would you smash such an innocent, sweet, loving creature?? At least save this cute hello kitty porcelain figures life by giving her to me if you decide you want to smash her :o)

  72. SMASH IT. BLOW IT UP. KILLL IT. SEND IT BACK TO HELL AND LET IT BE A REMINDER THAT HELLO KITTY IS A DUMB, STUPID AND EVIL CAT

  73. SMASH!!!!!! Destroy it! Laugh with glee as it is rendered into nothingness. Make it look like a sick scientiffic experiment (preferably with the mad laugh)!

  74. I can’t tell you how much the comments on this entry warmed my heart. All of a sudden the “plleeeeese tell me where I can buyyy thissss” was swallowed in a tide of gleeful, destructive rage.

    Of course, I know where I would have stood on the issue. I would have stood, with a hammer in my hand, next to a small pile of porcelain shards. There’s just something magical about that feeling. And magic is the heart of Hello Kitty.

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