Hello Kitty Floor Buffer

My wife has decided that we need a floor buffer…not any floor buffer, mind you, but a Hello Kitty floor buffer:

Hello Kitty floor buffer

Now, I could go into a rant about how we don’t have any hard wood floors that need to be buffed in our house, but that is probably obvious to those of you that have been reading this blog (and if you haven’t, just read a few posts and you’ll get the idea). I could also go on a rant about Hello Kitty fanatics colluding together to spike the poll votes to save the ceramic Hello Kitty, but everyone should have probably figured that would be typical Hello Kitty fanatic behavior. So instead, I’ll rant at those of you who read this blog and then send me emails like this:

For my 26th birthday, my boyfriend threw me a hello kitty themed rave. It was huge, every hello kitty maniac that was of age (actually there were 18 yr old kids trying to get in too) partied for 10 or so hours. My name’s kelly so we dubbed the party “hello kelly” they fliers were so cute, I wish I had a scan of it on my computer to show your wife. Anyway it was the crop circle on the front and then on the back was a few of the popular characters at a disco. Anyway, this year we’re having another Hello Kelly: Kitty vs. the Zombies I want to invite your wife ^_^* It’s in New Orleans on September 28th or 29th 😉

Why on earth would I ever let my wife know that there was a Hello Kitty rave going to take place?!? Do I really need to encourage her to be more into Hello Kitty than she already is? I have been through some pretty miserable times in Hello Kitty Hell, and just the thought of a Hello Kitty rave ranks right up near the top of things I really never want to experience in my life. If you have any doubt about whether you’re a Hello Kitty fanatic or not, here is a simple test.

If you think a Hello Kitty rave party would be fun to attend, you have already gone off the deep end and there is no hope for you. You can tell your significant others to start documenting their hell and sending it to me because they have a life of Hello Kitty misery ahead of them. If you heard the words “Hello Kitty rave” and immediately thought “WTF?” then rest assured that you are still part of the human race that isn’t insane…

27 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Floor Buffer

  1. Greetings, Hello Kitty Hellmaster! First of all, I have a hard time believing that “SMASH” is not winning the Hello Kitty Poll. How can that BE? Secondly, I don’t agree with Hello Kitty Rave-ing. My first instinct was to transform it into a “Death to Hello Kitty Rave” but then I reconsidered as I am not fond of violence in any form, Hello Kitty or not. I definitely think that you are in danger of being hauled to New Orleans for the event and feel strongly that you should seek sanctuary somewhere – but not at the Hello Kitty church-thingy that you posted about earlier. You remain in my thoughts……

  2. Hmmm….this makes me wish I had hardwood floors. Then again, I’m not too fond of HK appliances, the quality doesnt measure up to any national brand, unfortunately. 🙁 (And why have an appliance you can’t use?) However, I did get a soft new plush life-size pillow a few days ago. 🙂 muhahaha

  3. ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! This is better than morning tea…What a high to read this blog!

  4. Hahaha. The thing with all this Hello Kitty hardware, you end up paying for the damned name. The actual machine will probably work as good as a Miss Susie Cook Oven for 5 year olds. There’s no way getting one of those things would make house cleaning any more ‘fun’…

  5. I shared this entry w/ my husband who first said, “well atleast there’d be cute girls” then a few mins later, “wait, they’d all be pysco” *i am human, i passed the test 😉 *

  6. Well I’m not into raves but the idea of a Hello Kitty themed one just sparked my curiosity. I bet it was really cute. I just got a bunch of new Hello Kitty stuff. I’m thinking of making a room in the house ALL Hello Kitty, With bright pinks walls and a Hello Kitty head custom headboard! What do you think?

  7. You know what I wanna know? What totally INSANE MINDS sit around a table and think “hey, let’s make a hello kitty FLOOR BUFFER.” I mean what are these people ON?! Well that’s not even the weirdest one. I wanna see these people. I can’t even imagine what the creative minds behind these things are like.

  8. a hello kitty floor buffer?????? umm why???? and although i love hello kitty… a hello kitty rave?????? umm isn’t there a better way to spend your birthday???? i mean that is such an adultescent thing to do * it means that your of age but your attitides and likes are like when you were in adolescence*…

    and i am still sane!!!! well maybe not since i spent 45 bucks on a hello kitty bento box…. ohh well..

    i though of you when i saw this…


  9. > I could also go on a rant about Hello Kitty fanatics colluding together to spike the poll votes to save the ceramic Hello Kitty, …

    Rigging an election is American’s expertise …

  10. > I could also go on a rant about Hello Kitty fanatics colluding together to spike the poll votes to save the ceramic Hello Kitty, …

    Funny how if the “save hello kitty” people are ahead, it’s spiking the polls. If “smash hello kitty” people are head, it’s called the way life should be…

    Can we say sore loser? But don’t worry. Hello Kitty with her heart will always forgive.

  11. I love looking at your website but I always wonder where you are from? Do in live in America? I live in Birmingham (England) and it is soo hard to find hello kitty stuff anywhere! 🙁 Maybe you should move to Great Britain to escape your hello kitty hell? But…we have got this shop called ‘the bear factory’ where you make your own bear – one of the options is to make your own hello kitty! You have to fill her up with fluff and then you choose a heart and make a wish and kiss it and put it into her and then they sew her up. Then you make her a birth certificate etc… They also sell outfits and accessories for her. But apart from that, hello kitty stuff in England is rare 🙁

  12. Although the though of going to a Hello Kitty Rave makes me puke in my mouth a little, the thought of possibly being a zombie destroying the Hello Kitty psychos sounds like some fun. I’m just not sure if it sounds fun enough.

  13. I would looooove to go to a Hello Kitty rave. I’ve never been to a rave before and that would be the perfect one to attend! Also, I knew save would win over smash. Your quest to disgust people with how much HK has infiltrated the world has only provided fanatics like me a chance to think “Oh my god I am so glad that now I can get a Hello Kitty (fill in the blank). Hell is even hotter than you thought!

  14. Generally raves include many psychotropic drugs, and, while I secretly adore HK, I am over 30 and simply get HK stuff for my 5 year old daughter and limit it to stuff for 5 year olds – anyway, can you imagine the bad trip you’d get from all that Hello Kitty explosure? I shudder at the thought.

  15. LMFAO! i love hello kitty, with a passion… but what u guys are saying… hillarious! ahahahaha! so funny… (btw im NOT being sarcastic, i have a big sense of humor) lol!

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