It would seem that I would be thanking Sanrio for not creating these until after I was already married, but Hello Kitty Hell doesn’t make something like this simply disappear due to timing. While Hello Kitty wedding rings weren’t around when my wife and I got married, their appearance so close to our 10th anniversary has my wife trying to convince me that this is exactly what we need to celebrate the occasion:
It would be bad enough if I had to give her a Hello Kitty wedding ring, but it’s even worse that they come in a matching pair with Hello Kitty engraved on the inside meaning that I would also have to wear a Hello Kitty wedding ring. Sanrio, in their marketing genius, have set this up as a no win situation for any man living in Hello Kitty Hell. While the bride’s ring has Hello Kitty prominently on the outside, Hello Kitty is hidden on the inner circle of the ring on the groom’s ring — apparently even they realized the backlash if they had tried to place Hello Kitty’s face on the outside, but this strategic placement gives the bride negotiating room to argue that it is not nearly as bad as it could have been.
In reality, having Hello Kitty on the inside isn’t any better. Just the thought that I am somehow defacto married to Hello Kitty as well makes my heart seize up and gives my stomach that wonderful nauseating feeling you get before you have to run to the toilet to vomit.
Of course, the wedding rings don’t come cheap when Hello Kitty lends her face to them. The platinum Hello Kitty wedding rings run $1,640 (189,000 Yen) with the bride’s ring getting two minuscule diamond chips (0.02ct ) added to either side of Hello Kitty’s face. I’m actually surprised that they are Pepto Bismol pink.
So once again the Hello Kitty quandary arises. If I don’t get the rings, I will have to get something Hello Kitty that could be just as awful (or even worse) to placate not getting them. Either way I lose and Hello Kitty wins which is almost always the case in Hello Kitty Hell…