Beauty – Page 4 – Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty Tattoo

April 19, 2007 by onezero

My wife’s friend came by and proudly displayed her new Hello Kitty tattoo. There is nothing worse to a Hello Kitty fanatic than having someone do something that would indicate in any way that they were more of Hello Kitty fan than the fanatic. My wife doesn’t often get jealous when it comes to Hello Kitty (how could she with all this crap she has?), but that wasn’t the case this time. So my wife is now insisting that she needs to get a Hello Kitty tattoo (or more) and is searching for the perfect one at the moment. Unfortunately, there seem to be plenty of Hello Kitty tattoos to choose from:

Left by kaylamuldoon via twitter

Left by Jessica on Facebook

Left by Steffijo on Facebook

Left by Rosemarie on Facebook

Left by on Angelia Facebook

While the thought of anyone wanting to place Hello Kitty on their skin permanently is disturbing in its own right (wife: “It’s so cute and sexy and a tribute to Hello Kitty”), it also will add another aspect to Hello Kitty Hell. One of the only times that I don’t have to see Hello Kitty is when my wife doesn’t have any clothes on — a tattoo would make Hello Kitty Hell a 24 hour a day ordeal.

Sent in by Whitney

Sent in by Domonique

Hello Kitty Perfume – Momoberry

March 23, 2007 by onezero

Great. Just the news I needed to hear. It appears that Sanrio has decided that Hello Kitty needed a perfume and they just released one called Momoberry:

Now not only will I have to see Hello Kitty all over the place, I will now have to smell (there is something very wrong with that) Hello Kitty everywhere from now on. Even though I tell myself time and again that Hello Kitty Hell can’t get any worse, it continues to do so…

Update: You thought there would only be one type of Hello Kitty perfume?

Hello Kitty Baby Perfume

Hello Kitty Diamond Perfume

Hello Kitty Koto Perfume

Sent in by Vivian

Hello Kitty Bubble Bath – It Kills You…

March 22, 2007 by onezero

I always knew that Hello Kitty was evil, I just didn’t have the proof…until now. It appears that Hello Kitty Bubble Bath would like to give you cancer:

The characters are irresistible to your child, but a new study reveals there’s a suspected human cancer-causing chemical inside millions of bottles of bubbles…

The FDA recommends a maximum of 10 parts per million (ppm) of the contaminant. The author says of the products tested, 15% exceeded that recommendation.

Among the children’s products, the Hello Kitty Bubble Bath was the worst offender. It was found to have 12ppm, 20 percent more than the FDA recommendation. The chemical was also found in some adult products.

That sure sounds a lot more like the Hello Kitty I know compared to the Hello Kitty the Hello Kitty fanatics portray. Now if I could only find a product where Hello Kitty would just kill herself…

Photo courtesy of Reid H Cooper [flickr]

Hello Kitty Press On Nails

February 17, 2007 by onezero

You know it’s going to be a bad day in Hello Kitty Hell when you hear the words, “Honey, do you want to see the new thing I got in the mail?” This is because you have already fallen into a trap from where there is no escape. Even though there is absolutely no intrigue in the question – I already know that it is going to be something Hello Kitty and it is going to be something bad – I have to act excited, but of course, not too excited. If I don’t act excited, then my lack of appreciation will get me in trouble, but if I act too excited, then she knows I’m faking enthusiasm and I will get into trouble. Ahhh, the thin line I have to tight rope along living in Hello Kitty Hell (which I must say, I have well perfected).

The problem with today was that it went on beyond the initial “look at this” and I was actually asked for my opinion. This part of Hello Kitty Hell I still haven’t perfected and almost always results with me taking out the Hello Kitty sleeping bag.

Of course I didn’t get the answer right (note to self: “whichever you like best” won’t cut it in Hello Kitty Hell — when answering any question related to which Hello Kitty item I like best, remember the correct answer is “all of them” according to my wife) and paid the Hello Kitty Hell price…

Update: You actually thought that more of this hideousness wouldn’t be produced?

Hello Kitty press on nails that spell Hello Kitty

Sent in by Jen