Hello Kitty Body Shaped Mineral Water

It’s bad enough when stuff gets Hello Kittified, but it takes on a whole new level of Hello Kitty scariness when the evil feline decides to try to add sexiness into the equation as well. There is no other way to explain the concept of this Hello Kitty mineral water:





Can I just state for the record that when you are out with your wife and politely ask for a bottle of water, it’s more than an little embarrassing when your wife produces one of these water bottles to drink from. Even worse is trying to figure out how to hold the damn bottle that doesn’t make you look like a Hello Kitty pervert. One of the many hazards you never have to imagine unless you’re living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by a number of readers, all of who should have to drink out of these bottles every time they are in a public setting for thinking that anything positive could come from sending me this information…

64 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Body Shaped Mineral Water

  1. Β«Even worse is trying to figure out how to hold the damn bottle that doesn’t make you look like a Hello Kitty pervertΒ».


  2. Oh my! that’s just….
    no words… I produce no words to describe this.
    I feel for you to having to hold this while drinking!

  3. What’s wrong with you that you can’t hold your own water? If you are going to ask your wife for water, you should be happy with anything that she gives you. I can’t believe that you have the nerve to complain when you wife does something nice for you. It shows your total lack of respect for her and for women in general.

    These bottles are soooooo cute and only someone without any taste could ever see them as not being so. This shows your total lack of design knowledge and exposes you for the lies that you always say about Hello Kitty. Anyone would be proud to drink out of a bottle like any of those.

    It will be nice when you learn to post the photos and keep your comments to yourself so that we could enjoy them for their true value instead of having to read your opinionated drivel, but every time you do, it shows everyone your true colors of not appreciating Hello Kitty or women in general.

  4. darlene is a crazy, HK-obsessed feminist.

    all her comments are about the poor HK-inflected sucker not treating his wife properly.

    darlene should probably understand that at any point of time the wife feels disrespected, she sends the guy packing to the couch in the HK sleeping bag.

    and while i love hello kitty, bottles-with-boobs are a little bit too much.

  5. Darlene can bite it. No woman who respects her man would EVER hand him something like that (let alone be seen with something so tacky, wtf is wrong with her). I think his wife is the lucky one, since most sane men would head for the hills after being visually assaulted with this craziness – and from a GROWN woman – on a daily basis.

  6. Dude, whatever else she is, Darlene is *not* a feminist. That would imply that she has some kind of concern over women as individuals and human beings, rather than as consumers of sparkly pink crap.

  7. The last one is kind of cute.
    Well, even HK-hater like me can be sometime swayed by such evil cunning HK marketing.

  8. I am kind of amused by this way of getting girls/women to drink more water. I do feel kind of sorry for guys (of both persuasions) if they have to drink out of a bottle of that shape, though. o.O

  9. Is it just me who’s thinking that any woman who’s proportioned like those bottles is a funny shape? (distances from boobs to waist and waist to hips look wrong)

  10. My 6 year old would love these, but then again, SHE’S 6!! Any self-respecting grown woman wouldn’t carry these and she certainly wouldn’t give them to her husband!! Mine would think I’d lost my mind if I bought these at the store, then expected him to drink out of it!

  11. Shut it Kristal. While Darlene may be overly harsh, (and taking everything too seriously) those bottles are sooo cute *_* (and I’m not an HK fan) anyway they’re just bottles. Why is it so bad for a man to be seen drinking out of them?

    Gotta respect yo’ man! Can’t let him be seen with a *gasp* a girly water bottle!

    Anyway you’d think a guy would like drinking out of a bottle shaped like a curvaceous woman.

    anyway I’m off to buy a bottle ?

  12. Actually I now think shoulders to boobs looks implausibly low too, unless the model was doing a bat impression? πŸ˜‰

  13. the porportions on the bottle are actually fairly correct. they look way out of whack because the “waistline” of the fashions depicted on the bottle actually hits around the pubic bone area.

    that said, i STILL wouldnt hand a bottle that looked like this to my hubby. bleargh!

  14. “Can’t hold your own water” Meheheh, that’s the sort of detail I don’t want to know about! πŸ˜€ Bottled water? That is what taps are for.

  15. I bet these bottles are expensive. You know what the sad thing is? The labels are made of such material so that I would peel off the label–the other half of the reason to buy the bottle.

    The labels don’t have bad designs on them though, I like the last one.

  16. Well, mineral water is supposed to help you feel a little healthier, thus making you that much skinner, so I guess I can see the concept, and I really don’t mind the designs, but I do agree that they’re more then likely be overly expensive and I know that I would ever give my boyfriend one of those. πŸ˜‰

  17. @ Miss Kitten, I see where you’re coming from, and agree the skirt belt-lines are way too low on the “frame”.

  18. I suspect Gaultier will soon be sueing for copyright over its Classique perfume bottles. Hope he screws them.

    Darlene you really are an obnoxious, inbred little air brained idiot. You’ve obviously never been laid, let alone been in close proximity to the male of the species. Or are you actually a closet gay who won’t admit it? Either way you really need help to grow up and accept this site is not about liking HK, IT’S ABOUT LOATHING THE FOOKIN THING AS ITS HIDEOUS, MALFORMED AND SOULD DESTROYINGLY EVIL.

    Or is this concept too much for your vacuum head to compute?

  19. Preach on Kitty. I think Darlene just comes on here for attention because no one likes her/he/ or whatever it is.

    I would get the last bottle just for my collection of horror related stuff.

    As for drinking the water pr holding it our in public, yeah right I would rather slit my wrists and call it a day. If my husband ever brought one of these home with him, I may just have to divorce him on the fact that he may be gay. No same hetero man would ever be caught dead with one of these.

  20. Darlene if you only want to see the photos heres a crazy idea: look at the photos, don’t read the text and please shut up

  21. Wow. It Looks like a barbie without the head and a hello kitty picture plastered on the bottle.

    Darlene, your on the road of me stuffing you into the HK pinata.
    ….and bashing it until you admit you will get a life.

    O: THIS WAS POSTED ON MY BIRTHDAY! (where I live anyway)

    I LOVE IT! Thank you Mr. HKH. πŸ˜€

  22. People still believe Darlene is serious after all this time? Whatever she is, she’s a highly entertaining aspect of this blog and I hope she NEVER shuts up.

    I want to get one of these bottles just for the sheer kitsch value. =)

  23. Looks like smart marketing to me. I would dump the water and fill it with Hello Kitty Beer πŸ˜‰

    As for Darline, folks if she rile you up she has succeeded in her purpose. Just take her with a grain of salt.


  25. Darlene isn’t even a funny troll anymore. Seriously, the first few times, it was a riot, but now it’s all the same stuff. “You need to respect your wife!” over and over isn’t funny or clever. Come on Darlene, your shtick is getting stale. But some people react so violently no matter what you say, I guess you don’t need to be legitimately funny or interesting. All you need is a tl;dr post much like this one.

    These bottles are creepy. 😐

  26. Darlene, you aren’t even funny to mock anymore. You’re like one of those annoying as all get out people that listen to every other word the other person says. I refuse to even justify your rant by correcting you, because at least I know I can read and you ‘re partially illiterate.
    In fact, I’ve come up with a way to carry the HK bottle. Take it carefully by the lid between your thumb and finger and hold it between elbow and arm’s length away from you. Avoid making a face like you’ve smelled something rotten as you steadily take paces two to three feet long towards the nearest table or bench. Leave it there. Explain to any concerned that you are leaving the first runner or poor thirsty person to come along a “cute” and well appreciated drink. Then go and buy yourself a normal bottle of water. Problem solved! Too bad we can’t ditch Darlene…

  27. It’s just fun to yell at Darlene because I can’t yell at the people in my office so I take it out on he/she/it. It helps with the release of anger πŸ™‚ Besides Darlene likes the attention.

  28. @darlene.
    Why are YOU insulting him?
    He’s allowed to have an opinion right?
    This website is called ‘Hello Kitty HELL’. Do you think it’s gonna be positive, happy things about Hello Kitty?…
    You are so annoying.
    Insulting women is he? Hardly! Your practically insulting men.
    Two words.
    Shut up.

  29. I agree; Mr HKH, if, as some of us suspect, Darlene is actually your wife, will you tell her we’re fed up with her one-note rants, and if she’s not, will you block her IP address please?

  30. You know, I would only buy it to collect them. But won’t drink out of them. That just seems creepy…it would be like you’re drinking the soul of a decapitated Hello Kitty. ::shudders::

    But yeah, those are going to be freakishly expensive and mostly a collectors item to us HK people.

    p.s. Darlene, honey, you need to just chill a bit. My boyfriend makes fun of me about HK yet still respects me. Stop being a troll here and go to 4chan for attention, they like your kind of crazy there. ^.~

  31. @darlene

    GO AWAY!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! nobody likes your stupid comments. your the only one who thinks that mr.hkl should stop writing! But his blog rocks and nobody likes how seriously you take this blog!

  32. those bottles fail as enticing. There should be bottles wearing lingerie sicnce hk marketing is basically pimping out hk.

    More garbage made to add to the piles that already exist. One day we’ll have a planet covered in hk crap alone.

    So sad.

  33. This is actually one of the cuter things on here.. Maybe if it wasn’t kittyfied, it’d be better. :]

  34. These might actually be kind of cute… if the entire planet wasn’t buried waist deep in Kitty crap already. These people have no concept of “enough is enough.”

  35. @ Sharon, that’s kind of the point really. HK marketting tat goes waay beyond what would be products that you might actually want your 6YO girl to have.

  36. darlene will never find a man because of her crazy head that men are the slaves and they should worship her darlene you are one crazy @#%&*

  37. Has anyone else suspected that “Darlene” may very well be a pseudonym for his wife?

    She never argues with anyone. She makes her one comment and then disappears.

  38. You complete ass. if you hate hello kitty sooooo much than take her out of your life completely. take all that hello kitty crap and burn it, dump your wife and start an online game where the goal is to kill hello kitty and anyone who likes her, isasinate the CEO of sanrio but stop ruining other peoples perception about her. If they want to spend their life idolizing her, fine!!!!! People obsess over chocolate but no one complains about it even though its really bad for you unlike HELLO KITTY!!!!!!!!!!

  39. OK I’ve read this blog for about a year and I think Darlene now only comments to get attn. because she knows if she makes absurd remarks than she will get a whole lot of attn. Coming from a sane 14 yr old

  40. wow i didn’t know this site existed until i followed the link from the blog cake wrecks! haha but anyways, i am a huge fan of hello kitty and i don’t follow everything that comes out with hello kitty so i think this site is awesome in a good way haha. so for the creator of this hello kitty hell site , thank you! i might check this regularly now πŸ™‚

  41. I’m a girl, and those bottles are scary O_O Any bottle shaped like that is scary! O_O

    Other members of my gender are DEFENDING those things!?

    O_O O_O

  42. LOL i do rather like hello kitty , but Hk marketing has gone wayy over the top with some of their stuff xD
    i saw this hello kitty honeymoon suite i was slightly scared ;] xD

  43. OMG! that has got 2 b the hottest most crazy-cute thing EVER!! (then again,im only 9 yrs old & i would love anything hello kitty πŸ™‚

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