Hello Kitty Eminem Rap God Cat God Video

How do you know that the world is about to end? When the cat-with-no-mouth suddenly finds that she has one upon deciding that it’s a good idea to take Eminem’s song Rap God and do her Cat God interpretation. No, I’m not making any of that up — and you would be wise to trust me on that and just walk away from your computer screen because if you choose to watch the video, it can never be unseen. There has never been any doubt that the evil feline she’s herself as a God (or Jesus), and this video only proves it.

If this is the way that 2013 is ending, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to survive what 2014 is sure to have in store for me…

Hello Kitty eminem cat god

Chicken Reversible Plush

If there was ever any doubt that the people at Sanrio aren’t even trying anymore (and there really is no doubt at all), the latest Hello Kitty creation should even convince the most skeptical. It has become readily apparent that they know that no matter what they make, fanatics of the evil feline will buy it. Case in point, the Hello Kitty chicken reversible plush:

Hello Kitty chicken plush

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With her never-ending fascination with all things oral (even though she doesn’t have a mouth), it really shouldn’t be much of a surprise that fanatics would think that drawing the evil feline on their lips would be a good idea. Of course, that means the rest of us who possess even a tiny bit of sanity end up having to try to erase from our minds the image of Hello kitty lips:

hello kitty lips

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Brass Knuckles Ring

There is no doubt that Hello Kitty likes her rings. She expects her loyal fans to wear them at every stage of their lives, including when they get engaged and even when they get married. But what is a fanatic to do when someone with common sense points out how hideous that ring actually is? Have no fear — that is exactly the situation where the Hello Kitty brass knuckle ring comes into play:

hello kitty brass knuckles ring

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One of the first things that you learn when you have a Hello Kitty fanatic in your midst is that they believe everything should be fashioned into the evil feline whether it makes sense or not. This is readily apparent with food which for some unfathomable reason, must bear the face of the cat with no mouth no matter what it happens to be. In what now appears to be a quest to ruin all fruits that are out there, she has decided to add another kittified fruit to the horrifying list of melons, watermelons and fruit displays by creating a Hello Kitty strawberry:

hello kitty strawberries

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Wedding Dress Disaster

There are far too many fanatics out there who dream about wearing a wedding dress covered in faces of the evil feline. Even worse, they believe this would actually be a great way to celebrate a day that would undoubtedly be a preview to the unrelenting torture they plan to inflict on their partner for the rest of his life (we won’t even go into the engagement ring, the wedding rings, the wedding tiara, the wedding cake and all the other assorted excruciating painful crap that will have to be endured). What these fanatics fail to realize is that on that special day, this is what they are going to end up looking like:

Hello Kitty pink wedding dress

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Shower Head

When it comes to the evil feline, there are few things worse than having to confront her in the early morning before you are fully awake. With the last remnants of sleep still keeping your mind somewhat foggy, there’s absolutely no way to believe anything other than you’re suspended in some intensely bad dream when confronted with Miss Kitty and all her horrors. Knowing this, the Hello Kitty shower head is one of the most evil and sheer terror producing items that she has decided to brand.

hello kitty shower head

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We are already well aware that the cat with no mouth tends to go a bit overboard in her decorations. For those that have any doubt, just take a look at what she does to phones and nails. Only in the world of the evil feline does it somehow make sense that the way to block the sun while wearing glasses is to fill those glasses with so much bling that the sun can’t get through them. The obvious fact that it also means that you can’t see crap out of them yourself apparently doesn’t seem to be an issue of much concern which is perfectly illustrated with these Hello Kitty sunglasses:

hello kitty sunglasses

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High Heels

I guess it was only a matter of time before Hello Kitty shoes would find a way to look similar to Hello Kitty phones. I’m not exactly why anyone would want to walk around with these on their feet other than repel every other human being on the planet, so I guess that anyone delusional enough to wear these is actually doing all humans a service in warning them to stay as far away as possible. Could there really be any other reaction to these Hello Kitty high heels?

Hello Kitty 3 inch heels

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