baby

Hello Kitty Breast Pump

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One of the most disturbing aspects of the evil feline is her insistence of being a part of every bodily function a person has. She wants to be there when you defecate in the form of what you use, what you wipe yourself with (in a a variety of patterns including KISS) and where your waste eventually ends up. Then she insists on being around when it’s that time of the month and when things need to be refreshed down there (and that doesn’t even address those that feel it necessary to decorate –NSFW). Of course, she also wants to be around when any type of sexual activity is taking place (flavored versions as well if that’s what you’re into).

So I guess it really shouldn’t be a surprise that she wants to be there helping you pump your breast milk when that time arrives as well. Yes, that’s right. The people at Sanrio have decided that what the world really needs is both an electric breast pump and a hand breast pump featuring the cat-with-no-mouth.

Hello kityt electric and hand breast pump

As I say time and again, it can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Norma

Baby Tattoo

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One of the worst parts of knowing someone who loves the cat-with-no-mouth is that they can’t keep their fanaticism to themselves. They feel the uncontrollable desire to make everyone in their life as miserable as possible by making everything about the Sanrio character which everyone with an ounce of common sense loathes with a passion. While that in itself is painful enough for the vast majority of us living in Hello Kitty Hell, the fanatics can’t leave it there (surprise, surprise). They’re willing to go to any and all lengths to Kittify all those around them that can’t defend themselves. Just look what happens if you’re a cat of a fanatic. Or a dog. or a baby.

Of course, even this isn’t as far as the fanatics will go. We already know that fanatics are willing to ink their dogs with the evil feline, so it’s really a surprise that they would ink their baby with a tattoo as well?

Hello Kitty tattoo on baby

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Hello Kitty Baby Perfume

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Sometimes when I see new Hello Kitty products, I think that Sanrio must actually be running out of things to Hello Kittify since there is no other explanation as to why some of these things are made. That, and the overwhelming focus that it’s never too early to indoctrinate the child masses into the Sanrio cult, is why you have products like Hello Kitty Baby perfume:

Hello Kitty baby perfume

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Hello Kitty Baby

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Once again Hello Kitty Hell proves that it can always get worse…

You knew it had to happen eventually. If Hello Kitty fanatics were willing to place Hello Kitty heads on cats and dogs, it didn’t take much of a leap to know they would eventually do it to their own babies as well:

Hello Kitty baby

This is so obviously wrong that I don’t know where to even begin. Isn’t there a law somewhere that states completely humiliating your child for the rest of their life is some sort of child abuse? If there isn’t, this is the perfect proof that there should be.

Of course, my wife thinks this is “the cutest thing ever” which means that I will have to endure something similar if we ever have kids. While I do worry that such antics will scar the kids for life, I’m sure that having to deal with Hello Kitty child cuteness will scar me far more since it will only fuel the Hello Kitty Hell flames taking it to a whole other level…

Sent in by Mhkitty who should be punished in unthinkable ways for putting the thought of this into my wife’s mind and seeding my nightmares for the rest of the month…