Gadgets

Hello Kitty USB Fish Tank Aquarium

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My wife’s computer add-ons keep getting worse. Now that it is getting warmer outside and she no longer needs the Hello Kitty foot warmers and Hello Kitty heated lap pad, she had to find something else for her computer usb ports. Thus, the Hello Kitty usb powered fish tank arrived at our house today:

Hello Kitty usb fish tank

Hello Kitty usb aquarium

I know, I know, cats hate water so why would anyone ever imagine Hello Kitty would enjoy swimming around in a fish tank? Just another one of those Hello Kitty Hell questions it’s simply better not to ask…

Hello Kitty Food Stamp

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Well, this little Hello Kitty email pretty much guaranteed Hello Kitty Food Hell for the rest of my life. Now not only can my wife search for all the Hello Kitty branded food out there to torture me with, but if for some reason she’s in a hurry or can’t find a particular food that comes with Hello Kitty, she can simply brand it with a Hello Kitty stamp:

Hello Kitty food stamp

Just thinking about all the food my wife can now Hello Kittify is nauseating in itself. Even worse, there is no doubt that Hello Kitty Hell has reached a new pinnacle of Hellishness when you not only are surrounded by her 24/7 on the outside, but she is also slowly moving her way through your bowels day and night…

Obviously, eemcginnis who passed this photo my way deserves to eat as much Hello Kitty food as I will eventually have to eat…

Hello Kitty iPod Mini

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Well, it has certainly become a classic Hello Kitty Hell day. My last post hasn’t even been up an hour and I’m getting multiple emails that my wife can get a Hello Kitty iPod. It’s not like she really needs encouragement, you know?

Hello Kitty iPod

And when my wife sees the Hello Kitty iPod (which of course I’m trying desperately to hide from her), she looks at me like I’m an idiot and says, “I already have that….why do you think I want the Hello Kitty iPod recharger?”

You can imagine how many Hello Kitty items are in our house when I don’t even know that my wife already has a Hello Kitty iPod…and that, my friends, is true Hello Kitty Hell…

Reader Energist deserves to listen to Hello Kitty music 24/7 for a month for sending the photo which made me look like a fool in front of my wife and made me realize that listening to Hello Kitty music on a Hello Kitty iPod (being charged by a Hello Kitty recharger) in our Hello Kitty car is no longer a possibility, but an inevitability…

Hello Kitty iPod Car Charger & FM Transmitter

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Yikes! It’s bad enough that my wife is slowly turning our car into the Hello Kitty mobile, but now she is getting interested in Hello Kitty car accessories that mold the home and the car together. That can mean nothing except more Hello Kitty Hell in my life. It certainly doesn’t help that readers keep sending me photos of Hello Kitty stuff (come on people, it isn’t like she is lacking in enough Hello Kitty crap to look at already) that once she sees, she naturally (in the distorted and twisted Hello Kitty way) wants — the latest being this Hello Kitty iPod car recharger:

Hello Kitty iPod car recharger and transmitter

Mind you, she still doesn’t even have an iPod (“I’m waiting for a Hello Kitty edition”). That she firmly believes that a Hello Kitty iPod will be available soon scares me in itself, but an even bigger fear is that an iPod will be purchased even without Hello Kitty. Too many Hello Kitty iPod accessories are appearing for her to last much longer.

Life looks pretty bleak when you imagine Hello Kitty Hell in the future: A Hello Kitty iPod playing Hello Kitty music being recharged by a Hello Kitty recharger in a Hello Kitty car. ‘Nough said…

Sent by HKtechfan (via one’s & zero’s) who should have to listen to Hello Kitty music 24/7 for a week for even considering sending me this photo.

Hello Kitty Karaoke Machine

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My wife has managed to already wage an effective assault campaign on my senses: visual with all the Hello Kitty in our house, taste with her continuing theory that an all Hello Kitty food diet would be “cute” and and smell with the new Hello Kitty perfume, so why stop there? So, of course, my wife is eyeing the Hello Kitty portable karaoke machine and CD player to assault my hearing as well:

Hello Kitty karaoke machine

Just imagine someone singing Hello Kitty karaoke songs all day and you’ll get a hint of what Hello Kitty Hell is like.

I have decided that for my own sanity I won’t even attempt to guess what “touch” may eventually turn out to be…

Hello Kitty Thermometer

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Now that my wife is toasty warm in her Hello Kitty heated lap blanket and Hello Kitty foot warmers, she decided that we needed to know how cold it was inside. I don’t need a Hello Kitty thermometer to tell me that I’m damn well cold (why else would I have on pink Hello Kitty foot warmers on my feet?!), but that holds little sway when you live in Hello Kitty Hell. So here is the thermometer she purchased:

Hello Kitty Thermometer

Actually, it is ironic in a Hello Kitty Hell kind of way that I need Hello Kitty items to keep me warm and tell me how cold it is while living in a place that should be burning up.

Hello Kitty Chair Massager

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Again, an innocent comment has gotten me into Hello Kitty Hell trouble. Sitting in front of a computer all day isn’t the healthiest activity in the world and when I spend long hours typing away, my lower back sometimes gets sore. I mentioned the other day that my back was feeling the hours I had been putting in to my wife and walked into my computer room to see this attached to my chair: the Hello Kitty chair massager:

Hello Kitty Chair Massager

All I have to say is that there is something seriously wrong in the world when a grown man has Hello Kitty vibrating underneath him…

Hello Kitty USB Lap Warmer

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My wife is continuing to add to her Hello Kitty computer accessories to the point that she is going to need to get a massive USB hub (I’m sure that they make a Hello Kitty one somewhere and if they don’t, it’s likely already in the works) for all the Hello Kitty gadgets. She has been in love with the Hello Kitty foot warmers ever since she got them (I just never look under my desk and try not to think about the fact that a grown man has his feet in warm, fuzzy pink slippers – can’t be much less manly than that), so when she came across the Hello Kitty USB lap warmer, she had to have it:

Hello Kitty USB Lap Warmer

My wife is deliriously happy that now not only are her toes toasty warm, both her lap and hands are also warm. She tried to get me to warm my hands, but I have resisted thus far. I’m afraid there may be hidden cameras that will catch the image of me in pink USB warmed slippers and a big, pink Hello Kitty face lap warmer on my knees which will eventually find their way onto some social network site where I will be humiliated to no end…I have no doubt that something like that is what Hello Kitty Hell has in store for me…

Hello Kitty Shower Radio

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One of the worst things about Hello Kitty Hell is that there is no place to escape it. Not even the bath / shower area is Hello Kitty safe. A couple of weeks back my wife decided that we needed a Hello Kitty shower radio to place in the bath area. I can tell you that nothing quite sums up Hello Kitty Hell as having to listen to jpop music (I swear that half the singers sound as if they are friends with Hello Kitty) over a Hello Kitty radio while taking a shower.

Hello Kitty Shower Radio

Hello Kitty TV #2

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I mentioned earlier that one of the few things that my wife doesn’t have that is branded Hello Kitty is a TV and that my wife was interested in the Hello Kitty Apple TV. Well, this certainly wouldn’t be Hello Kitty Hell unless they made more than one Hello Kitty TV model which happens to be exactly what they do (imagine that?).

Hello Kitty TV

Hello Kitty TV - 1974 design

Now even a normal Hello Kitty fanatic would sit down and consider which of the two she really wanted, but in Hello Kitty Hell the decision is no which one, but whether only to get one or both. Scary, I know…and a typical day in Hello Kitty Hell.