One mans hell with cute overload
While there are a ton of trends that involve the evil feline that frighten me beyond belief (simply take a look through this blog and you will instantly know what I mean), this is certainly a trend that I hope never catches on. It seems that there are a few guys out there that somehow came to the conclusion that a Hello Kitty haircut would be a good idea (or, more likely, were somehow convinced by their girlfriends that this would be worthwhile).
Most of us love our mothers and enjoy showing them true appreciation on Mother’s day each year. Not the people at Sanrio. With Mother’s Day just around the corner, the evil feline has decided that she would like to guarantee that it’s the worst possible day ever for all mothers by encouraging gifts of Hello Kitty plants and flowers.
There are few things that surprise me in Hello Kitty Hell these days, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t come across things on a daily basis that make me ask myself, “for the love of all that is supposed to be good in the word…why???” The Hello Kitty dodgeball team definitely falls into that category:
I guess it’s obvious (at least to Hello Kitty fanatics) that there are simply not enough Hello Kitty scars in the world. It’s also pretty obvious that anyone that would think that putting Hello Kitty needles into their back really wouldn’t think twice about having the evil feline hop pen branded into her skin:
It’s official. Even in death, I will be living in Hello Kitty Hell. It was simply a matter of time before the people at Sanrio realized that their fan base was getting old and beginning to die off. You could see the beginnings of this with the Hello Kitty tombstone, so you knew that the next logical step was to begin producing Hello Kitty coffins:
It has already been well established that Hello Kitty, that loveable and innocent little girl’s character that she is, has quite a fetsih for S&M (you simply need to look at the Hello Kitty flogger, the Hello Kitty latex bed, the Hello Kitty bondage room, the Hello Kitty bondage sofa (NSFW) or the Hello Kitty love hotel room to confirm this). So it’s quite fitting that the evil feline should continue to show her innocence to all with the Hello Kitty ball gag:
The sad thing is that although we all already know that Hello Kitty has completely sold out (think Hello Kitty vibrators or Hello Kitty Hooters), this doesn’t stop others from collaborating with the evil feline and confirming that they, too, have completely sold out. There really is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty KISS collaboration:
The evil feline seems determined to place herself in the center of drug culture because, let’s face it, there is absolutely no place the evil feline isn’t willing to go to make a buck. With Hello Kitty cocaine (and cocaine straw), Hello Kitty bong (and hk x LV bong), and Hello Kitty ecstasy you knew that there would be Hello Kitty pipes out there:
As if science isn’t having enough trouble in schools, fanatics somehow thought this would be a good idea — the Hello Kitty periodic table:
