Hello Kitty Retainer

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I would put visiting the dentist pretty much up there with living in Hello Kitty Hell. When you put the two together, you basically have the makings for a complete horror show where stuff like the Hello Kitty tooth becomes a permanent fixture in your mouth after getting a Hello Kitty root canal.

One would assume that the Hello Kitty tooth would make all Hello Kitty fanatics come to their senses and simply admit that Hello Kitty x dentistry will never go together, but once again you would be underestimating the lengths that Hello Kitty will go to get her image on absolutely everything. Thus, the Hello Kitty retainer was born:

hello kitty retainer

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Hello Kitty Chainsaw

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There are some combinations that just should never go together. Hello Kitty x Jesus. Hello Kitty x S&M room. Hello Kitty x Men’s underwear (I could go on and on, but I would rather not have your suicide attempt traced back to this blog). Of course, Hello Kitty continually adds to this list. Case and point — Hello Kitty x chainsaw:

hello kitty chainsaw

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Hello Kitty Seaweed

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Hello Kitty continues her quest to make sure nobody ever wants to eat again (or at least immeasurably suffer when it comes to eating food). Apparently being able to punch faces of Hello Kitty out of seaweed isn’t enough for the evil feline. For those that feel that it is too much effort to punch Hello Kitty’s face (oh how that would be so much better of a sentence if it was being used in a different context), you can now actually buy seaweed that has Hello Kitty on it:

hello kitty seaweed

Sent in by Peter

Hello Kitty President Obama

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Wars? The economy? Global warming? You would think that the President of the United States would have enough worries on his plate these days with all the current crisis that exist, but things just got a whole lot worse for him and he probably doesn’t even know it. The evil feline has set her sights on invading his territory and has moved into a position just a couple of seats away. If you think things weren’t looking good before, wait until the president faces Hello Kitty Hell…

hello kitty Obama

Sent in by Stacy who has confirmed that the world is much closer to doom that anyone ever imagined…

Hello Kitty Bento Making Set Giveaway

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While the main reason I decided to take the long shot stab of winning a trip to the Vancouver Olympics was to help out a good cause, I must admit that the thought of escaping Hello kitty Hell for a couple of weeks also made it worth the effort. When I asked my wife to help, she agreed to give away a few of her things with the stipulation that if I did win, I had to pick up Hello Kitty crap that I found in Vancouver.

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Hello Kitty Wig

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One would assume that it would be difficult to make anything worse than the Hello Kitty head that has tormented cats (even dead ones), dogs (including those doubly unfortunate enough to belong to Perez Hilton), babies and those related to fanatics who somehow feel this is cute. On a similar note, it would seem nearly impossible to make your hair worse than by doing a Lady Gaga and shaping it into a giant bow. Of course, this would be highly underestimating the evil feline and her great ability to take two terrible ideas and meld them together to make something far worse. Case in point, I introduce the Hello Kitty wig:

hello kitty wig

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Hello Kitty Chemical Factory

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Was there ever really any doubt that the evil feline has a number of chemical factories across the world? The problem was that these Hello Kitty chemical factories were hidden across various countries in secret locations so they could spew out their mind altering gas (seriously, is there any other logical explanation for Hello Kitty fanatics?) without any protests. The first of these Hello Kitty chemical factories has been found:

hello kitty chemical factory

Sent in by lilly (via elfo streetart – image used with permission)

Hello Kitty Nori Punch Giveaway

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This is my second post in my continuing long-shot attempt to win a contest to blog about the Vancouver Winter Olympics and in the process, hopefully help out a good cause.

This contest is for a Hello Kitty Nori punch courtesy of my wife (who incidentally has been greatly encouraged by acquaintances who say that there are quite a few places to buy Hello Kitty crap in Vancouver — which has me thinking that maybe winning isn’t going to be the escape from Hello Kitty Hell that I had first imagined…):

Hello Kitty nori punch

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Hello Kitty Cat Wars Star Wars Anime

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You knew when Hello Kitty came out with an anime series that it wouldn’t be good. What you probably failed to understand was how truly horrid it would be. In her never ending quest to destroy and co-opt anything even remotely popular, the evil feline once again has modded Star Wars in ways that should never be considered with “Cat Wars.”

While I should write that I will now give a spoiler, I really don’t need to because when I explain it you won’t believe me — but you can’t make these things up. This video featuring Darth Cat Nip, Princess Kitty, Master Fluke, Hop 2 D 2, Hobi Kat Nobi and, of course, The Fur. The question is can you last until Master Fluke and Darth Kat Nip fight with their Flea Sabers. Seriously, watch at your own risk!

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