One mans hell with cute overload
It has already been well established that the evil feline is more than willing to pimp out anything that she feels will earn her a buck and that Hello Kitty loves her booze, so I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised by this. It seems that a single type of Hello Kitty vodka is not enough — and apparently not kid friendly enough as well. Thus the introduction of Hello Kitty Pink Goose vodka:
The danger with ever posting anything on this blog is that there is a good chance that whatever is posted is not the only one that exists with the evil feline on it, and someone is bound to send me other examples to completely ruin my day. While every guy in the universe secretly hoped that there was only one Hello Kitty engagement ring that ever existed, that is unfortunately not the case as can be seen by this Hello Kitty heart diamond engagement ring:
I don’t know why I hope that the evil feline will somehow come to her senses and leave her already terrible ideas alone so that the world can have at least a bit of sanity. She proves time and again that she doesn’t know how to leave a bad idea alone. It was horrific enough when Hello Kitty condoms appeared, but apparently the people at Sanrio decided that they needed something a little more. Their solution was Hello Kitty flavored condoms:
What do you get from a want-to-be TV reality star teen (Courtney Stodden) who marries a 51-year-old actor (Doug Hutchison)? You get a video like this which Courtney obviously thinks is “cute” (how can you not think that as she coughs up a hairball?) but should help purge your stomach of all if its contents with ease (warning: this video can’t be unseen)
While there are a ton of trends that involve the evil feline that frighten me beyond belief (simply take a look through this blog and you will instantly know what I mean), this is certainly a trend that I hope never catches on. It seems that there are a few guys out there that somehow came to the conclusion that a Hello Kitty haircut would be a good idea (or, more likely, were somehow convinced by their girlfriends that this would be worthwhile).
The people of Sanrio have figured out that if you are delusional enough to want a Hello Kitty TV, then you are probably delusional enough to want to watch that TV while reclining in a Hello Kitty reclining chair.
Most of us love our mothers and enjoy showing them true appreciation on Mother’s day each year. Not the people at Sanrio. With Mother’s Day just around the corner, the evil feline has decided that she would like to guarantee that it’s the worst possible day ever for all mothers by encouraging gifts of Hello Kitty plants and flowers.
How can anyone possibly make reality TV any worse than it already is? Although most people wouldn’t think it could be possible, reality has shown it was actually quite easily accomplished. Simply add “Hello Kitty high fashion” and you get what can only be described as fashion created by coughing up a massive Hello Kitty hairball. Don’t believe me? Watch the video (at your own risk as it will undoubtedly scar your brain for life)
There are plenty of hints that you are headed for a life of Hello Kitty Hell from which there will be absolutely no escape. At the top of the list is if you’re ever asked to wear these or these. That is quickly followed by basically anything that is evil feline related which also has to do with the bedroom. Your girlfriend suggesting that a custom-made Hello Kitty headboard would be a good idea is a perfect example:
The question is, “What does one who lives in Hello Kitty Hell do when a Hello Kitty item is found accidentally misplaced among his own items?” Does he return it to the Hello Kitty fanatic who will never fully understand the amount of true self sacrifice it takes to do such a thing, or does he go rogue and give it away and hope that the fanatic never finds out? The flip of the coin determined that he would go rogue.
This is a giveaway for a 2004 Hello Kitty Japanese Pez Dispenser (still in its original package because what Hello Kitty fanatic would ever actually use a Hello Kitty product???). There are 7 ways to enter:
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Good luck and let’s hope I can sneak this to one of you (who will hopefully destroy it is some awesomely horrific way) without getting delegated to couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the year…