Hello Kitty Rocks!

It’s all right. Settle down and catch your breath. I know you read that headline and just about had a heart attack thinking that I had finally completely lost it. I’m sure you pictured me having been taken away in a Hello Kitty straight jacket to spend the rest of my life knocking my head against Hello Kitty themed padded walls (which is undoubtedly coming soon). No, in reality you once again failed to realize the utterly ridiculous levels Hello Kitty will go to sell her image. The headline is unfortunately literally accurate — The evil feline is now selling hand painted rocks that are done in her image:

Hello Kitty stones

Just when you believe that Sanrio can’t possible think of a more completely useless product than the Hello Kitty banana cover, they go and do this. Can Hello Kitty dirt be far behind? Or possibly a Hello Kitty slingshot to add to the ever growing arsenal of Hello Kitty weapons.

Of course, my wife absolutely loves these. Upon seeing them, the ever present “this is so cute” came with an overly elongated “soooooo” that is a unbreakable secret code that Hello Kitty fanatics use to determine exactly where in the overall scheme of Hello Kitty each product ranks.

You know how this came about. Someone at Sanrio said, “Hey, remember years ago when the pet rock was all the rage? Why don’t we make a Hello Kitty pet rock?” Now, at any other corporation in the world, that person would have been fired the next day, but in the world of Hello Kitty, that person has been promoted to a management position. Which simply means that more stuff like this will continue to flood the market for Hello Kitty fanatics and continue to move my Hello Kitty Hell to new depths…

Sent in by Adora who deserves to have to spend her life painting rocks in the image of Hello Kitty and then have them thrown at her for thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea in any way, shape or form.

Update: Apparently the evil feline didn’t feel that painted rocks were enough and found a way to put her likeness into a natural Hello Kitty stone:

hello kitty rock

Left by @chefpandita on Twitter

52 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Rocks!

  1. Loved the title πŸ˜‰

    Anyway… This must be THE most stupid HK thing ever(and that’s saying a lot…)

    (Pet rock… Reminds me of Family Guy, with that rock peeing on the carpet.)

  2. Someone is going to work every morning just to paint Kitty-faces on small rocks. Is that a job or a punishment?
    Imagine having … well, 50 or 60 of these at home, here and there in your bookshelves, partly hidden behind the curtains, in your bathroom. Everywhere you turn, there’s a little Hello Kitty watching you.
    Nervous?

  3. Rocks?! That’s so far beyond useless, it’s ridiculous! But you know if they’re making the stupid things that there have to be HK fanatics out there with more money than functioning brain cells who are buying them.

    And HKH- awesome title! At least you haven’t lost your sense of humor in the midst of this hell.

  4. The only thing useless is your blog and your comments since you know nothing about Hello Kitty and what she stands for. What exactly is wrong with Hello Kitty rocks? People use rocks to decorate their homes in many different ways. This is like that while showing their love of Hello Kitty.

    The people at Sanrio made these because they know people will enjoy them and it will bring a smile to everyone that sees them. Unlike you and the bitterness that you try to give to everyone, Hello Kitty is about love and happiness. They are a big company because they know what people like while you have a small, insignificant blog because you don’t. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from them.

  5. I wonder if people in prison paint those? I also am controlling an urge to take a handful of them and chuck them at something breakable or at eggs with darlene’s words printed on them.

    I kind of like these, but I’d love them to have around when stupid drivers make me mad too.

    They probably cost $5 for one tiny pebble though.

  6. haha I can imagine someone decorating their entire yard with these hello kitty rocks. what tedious work painting each little face on them, I bet they are more than 5 bucks a pop.

  7. This is really scary: the more I look at them, the more I want some of them.
    Sooo totally and utterly useless, but yet kind of… cute.
    I want them, but I don’t want to want them.
    Help!

  8. I agree with darlene. If I see them displayed prominently on someone’s mantle, I’ll definitely smile–and try not to expire on the spot from laughing my ass off at such a stupid decoration.

  9. Mr. HKH here’s how it works you buy your wife some, put them in a long vase and add water and a plant…thus drowning Hello Kitty…
    Sounds like a plan to me…
    I’m going to paint a bunch to sell on eBay now! I’m gonna be rich!
    Helene: I think this should be added to the drug lord’s list of things he has to endure while in prison! See my list on that one!
    Katsuko: I will donate to your cause!

  10. I have some of those, they are the cutest thing!! They look great in a candle display using a hello kitty candle of course…

  11. It is rather missing the point of a pet rock. They’re not something you buy; they’re something you find on a beach, and pick out because they appeal to you.

  12. Now that must be the stupidest thing ever! Plus who other than a HK fanatic would BUY such a thing? Because appart from seeing a pebble that has been diped in white paint and had a few dots and line added in black and crowned with a bow, I really don’t see how one can justify selling that crap!

    One hint though, rocks do sink when you throw them in water, so as a therapy I would suggest you getting some rocks painted with her face on, and throw them in lakes river anywere to pass you frustration on something πŸ™‚

  13. Let me guess. Your wife wants these as her pet rocks, and would spend a fortune on them, only to realize she can paint these herself.

    Good luck in Hello Kitty Hell! May it end SOON! (Don’t you hope?)

  14. Gosh who knows how much those cost.

    if your going to have a HK pet rock, paint it youself.

    save the $10 and buy yourself somthing nice.

  15. wtf?! heck that’s one of the top stupidest things to hello kittify! and yeah i’d support you Katsuko!
    @Cyn: nice suggestion πŸ˜‰

  16. Accually, I can tell you, where this Picture came from… The 30st Anniversary Kitty-exhibition-booklet. Several Artists were asked to do a Kitty-related piece each.
    I happen to know this, since I got that book laying here (along with the packaging, which is a japanese shoe-carrier – as I was told by my friend…).
    Additional info for those Kitty-enthusiasts reading this: Yes, I also have the 30st anniversary T-shirt – try getting one of those!

  17. bear_1
    Lmao, that’s not the only thing she’s been huffing.
    She’s probably been huffing and SMOKING HK weed. Maybe she’s on HK Heroin.

    Katsuko
    I’ll donate. In fact, instead of buying these, I’ll paint some from the rocks right outside my house (I’ve got PLENTY), and we can BOTH chuck them at Darlene.

    Darlene
    :-p. Freak.

    Darlene NEEDS to get a life. I will admit to owning some Kitty stuff. I have HK band-aids given to me as a Christmas gag gift (as is tradition with my friends) and Hello Kitty stickers from where I worked until September, as I collect any and all kinds of stickers. My problem with Darlene is not that she’s a fanatic. My problem is that she’s SUCH a fanatic, she thinks ill of anyone who doesn’t “appreciate the love and gooodness of Miss Kitty.”

    Lol, for those of you who care, Hello Kitty has been found dead in her LA apartment. A home appliance and drug overdose are suspected, but the LAPD is not ruling out other causes.
    Check it out.
    http://digg.com/odd_stuff/BREAKING_Hello_Kitty_Found_Dead_Charred_in_Los_Angeles

  18. All I have to say is….WOW…
    And that some middle school/highschool kids need to be given extra work since they seem to have so much time on their hands πŸ™‚ (sigh, just kidding)

  19. OK, update….
    Just took out the exhibition-catalog…
    The work’s name is KITTY STONE
    The Artist is KATSUHIKO HIBINO
    The exhibition’s name was KITTY EX – 30 YEARS OF HELLO KITTY

  20. I think I’m going to find some rocks over the weekend and make me some HK stones… Maybe I’ll put them on Ebay πŸ™‚

  21. andophiroxia and mhkitty:
    All sizes. I live near a park, and the river that runs through it. I have small to medium sizes stones in my yard, near the front porch, and BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG ones in the park. I’d ask to take one, maybe to throw at darlene. I agree with Chi, it’d be an honor death for darlene.
    Hehe, gotta go for now, bye!

  22. Forget the stoning, maybe we need to find the worst anti-HK demise possible… I wonder if there are any videos of mass HK plush burnings on Utube?

  23. J: Just imagine the shipping costs for a container full of stone… But it’s a cute idea. I would be happy to find one or ten in my garden.

  24. it could be super condensed coccane in the shap of stones, but she sells them to all those shop at her stores, cause seriously you have to be on something to be ‘addicted’ to her stuff.

  25. Okay, the only rock I want someone to leave on my doorstep is rock hard hunk!
    (sorry, had to go there πŸ˜‰ )

    Though HK has nothin’ on the Easter Island heads!
    I vote for the Coccaine idea…thus making Darlene a crack whore…and HK as her pimp!!!!
    Te he he πŸ™‚

  26. “The only thing useless is your blog and your comments since you know nothing about Hello Kitty and what she stands for”

    DARLENE…rEALLY… get a job…buy a pet…or something….you are the useless…and you know…?…

    And..Darlene..people form Sanrio…only….creates a HK for the money..ok?…understand that thank you ^^….you are really stupid xD

  27. Darlene, you realise that by commenting on this apparently ‘pointless’ blog, you are simply contradicting yourself. Perhaps next time, you should shut off your computer and enjoy your life away from staring at the monitor.

    Just a thought, Darlene.

  28. The only thing useless is darlene and her comments since she knows nothing about Hello Kitty and what she stands for. What exactly is wrong with Hello Kitty rocks? darlene uses rocks to decorate her home in many different ways. This is what she likes, while showing her love to Hello Kitty.

    The people at Sanrio made these because they know darlene will enjoy them. Unlike darlene and the bitterness that darlene trys to give to everyone, Hello Kitty is about love and happiness (yawn). darlene, sanario has a big company because they are big and greedy, but because darlene knows what people like, she blogs negative comments. while darlene has a small, insignificant life because everybody else does. Maybe darlene could learn a thing or two from them.

  29. but theyre not hello kitty shaped….theyre rock shaped…..and i was all excited that there was a huge rock shaped like hello kitty

  30. this is utterly stupid and useless. if we wanted a pet we could have easily picked up a rock from the river and go, ‘ You shall be my new pet and I will love you and I will call you Fluffy.’

  31. *sigh* Doesn’t anybody but me understand that these are the tools for an ultimate relaxing hello-hot-kitty-stone-massage???

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