2007 – Page 27 – Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty Car Security System

January 19, 2007 by onezero

While Hello Kitty Hell hasn’t reached the point where we have a Hello Kitty car (it’s not that my wife doesn’t want one, just that the Hello Kitty cars tend to be small…if they ever come out with a medium sized Hello Kitty car, I’m in real trouble), she has been slowly, but surely turning our regular car into a Hello Kitty car. She has been doing this by adding all kinds of Hello Kitty items to our car, the latest being the Hello Kitty car security system.

While all Hello Kitty is a waste of money in my opinion, this has to be right up there near the top. I mean, come on, who in their right mind would steal a car decked out in Hello Kitty?!? Another Hello Kitty fanatic? Wouldn’t that be un Hello Kittyish (see, Hello Kitty Hell makes you come up with new Hello Kitty words). Anyone who would steal it would probably end up having to pay someone to take it off their hands…I don’t see there being a big black market for Hello Kitty themed cars, but then again, nothing about Hello Kitty would surprise me these days…

Hello Kitty Love Hotel Bondage

January 18, 2007 by onezero

There is Hello Kitty Hell and then there is Hello Kitty HELL – I have nightmares about something like this. The Morning News ran an article about Japanese Love Hotels with photos including the following of a Hello Kitty S & M room:

I can think of nothing worse (although I’m sure my wife will think of something) than being chained down to a Hello Kitty covered bed with Hello Kitty all around. My wife, seeing these photos, has decided that we must go to this love hotel since it is located in Osaka which is fairly near to us – I am hoping (most likely futilely) that the hotel has gone out of business since the photos are dated 2004. I’m not sure even I would be able to recover from a Hello Kitty Hell experience like that…

Photo Source: The Morning News

Hello Kitty Bathroom Slippers

January 18, 2007 by onezero

The problem with living in Hello Kitty Hell is that one is never enough. Hello Kitty items usually come in a variety of colors and that means my wife needs one of each color. We needed to get some bathroom slippers (in Japan, you switch slippers when going to the bathroom) and since our everyday slippers (having to wear Hello Kitty slippers all day is Hello Kitty Hell in itself) are Hello Kitty, the bathroom slippers also have to be Hello Kitty. Here is the problem – when we got to the store, they came in 4 different colors:

Now most people would simply choose their favorite color and that would be it. Hello Kitty fanatics have lost this common sense reasoning and feel that they must have one of each color (at a minimum). While we have no need for four different colors, my wife rationalized it by saying a single color would be boring and she could switch the colors each week.

So you can add four pairs of Hello Kitty bathroom slippers to my Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Wine

January 17, 2007 by onezero

When I wrote about Hello Kitty Rice Wine (sake) a bit ago, you knew that if they made rice wine, they must make regular Hello Kitty wine. We found it at a local store today and of course my wife needed to get a bottle to display with the sake:

I learned my lesson from the last experience and submitted to not being able to drink it (which actually is probably a good idea – I’m not sure that drinking Hello Kitty wine is something that anyone should do during their lifetime…even with its hefty $25 a bottle price tag, something tells me it will taste more like syrup than wine. Something like liquid Hello Kitty pop tarts.

It seems like a fitting purchase for Hello Kitty Hell. Something way overpriced that I will have no chance of ever drinking, but then again, probably thankful that I never had the chance to drink it. So I pay $25 for something that I am actually thankful that I can’t ever consume – that is pure Hello Kitty Hell logic.

Update: Apparently Hello Kitty wine has become popular enough to now come in different varieties – of course, I still can’t consume any of them…

And (unfortunately) the varieties keep coming:

Sent in by far too many readers via lv weekly

Stephen Colbert weighs in on Hello Kitty wine:

The Colbert Report

Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Tip/Wag – Hello Kitty Wine & Pig’s Blood Filters

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Fox News

Hello Kitty – How Many Bows?

January 16, 2007 by onezero

One of the worst aspects of Hello Kitty Hell is all the Hello Kitty games that my wife receives and then gives to me. I have to make some type of effort or I end up sleeping on the couch even though it’s torture to do so. Well, all you readers who actually like Hello Kitty are going to have to start earning your keep for my torture. Today my wife gave me this “How Many Bows Can You Find” and since looking at it makes the Hello Kitty pop tarts actually seem appealing, I’m enlisting you to give me the answer:

Hello Kitty Pop Tarts

January 16, 2007 by onezero

Maybe there is an angel looking over me in Hello Kitty Hell (oh boy, is that wishful thinking…) – at least these Hello Kitty Pop Tarts weren’t ever spotted at our local grocery store while we were back in the US.

If they had been, I probably would have had to eat pop tarts for three meals a day. Somehow, Hello Kitty and Pop Tarts seem to go together well – sickeningly sweet and not at all good for you.

Thinking about it a bit more, those may not have been all that bad compared to what may be in store for me…there are far more Hello Kitty foods in Japan that I will be tortured with now that we are back as you will see (probably to your amusement, but to my chagrin). Worse, the Hello Kitty Pop Tarts aren’t really out of reach of my wife – she’ll probably order some once she reads this since they are available online…

**Thanks (I think) to Amaranthim who left a link in the comments

Update: Not a pretty sight:

Sent in by Julia

Hello Kitty Outlet Covers

January 15, 2007 by onezero

My wife sent me to the store to purchase some new electricity outlet covers and I nearly had a heart attack when I saw these:

I seriously debated whether or not I should even mention finding these because it will mean that they will eventually be purchased, but I figure it’s only a matter of time (as are all things in Hello Kitty Hell). I already know what the reaction will be…”oh, they will look so cute with the Hello Kitty night lights…”

I guess that I should rejoice in the fact that the walls haven’t been painted in Hello Kitty themes (I may regret having written that…)

Hello Kitty Luggage

January 14, 2007 by onezero

Now that we are back in Japan, I know that my Hello Kitty Hell will only increase in intensity. In the US, you can take a walk or drive and get away from Hello Kitty in times of desperation. When you live in Japan, however, there is no escaping Hello Kitty no matter where you go. Every shop has something Hello Kitty – it’s nauseating just thinking about it.

Of course, it wouldn’t be Hello Kitty Hell if I wasn’t bombarded with something Hello Kitty before we actually arrived in Japan. My wife decided that our current luggage, although perfectly functional, wasn’t cute enough. And of course, Hello Kitty luggage does exist:

Worst of all, they come in three patterns meaning that my wife wants all three. While I’m sure that Hello Kitty Hell will bring even more hideous tortures to me, at the moment I can’t think of anything less embarrassing than walking through a crowded airport dragging a Hello Kitty suitcase behind me…

Update: Now that we are planning our winter holiday, my wife thinks that what she needs is a new set of Hello Kitty luggage guaranteeing that our travels will be just as Hello Kitty Hellish as staying at home…

Sent in by Lori

Sent in by kliss

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Sent in by lovethecat

Sent in by starrygirl