Low Rise Men's Underwear

It’s always more than a bit scary when I open my emails with Hello Kitty photos attached because there can be something like the Hello Kitty low rise men’s underwear waiting to greet me inside:


Of course, even worse than seeing something like this is having to listen to my wife’s reaction to it. “Oh, those are soooo cute! You know, we really should get them and then take a photo!”

It is times like this when it actually helps to have lived in Hello Kitty Hell for a long period of time because instead of sitting there with a blank stare of unbelieving incomprehension at what the Hello Kitty fanatic had just said (which will ultimate lead to further Hello Kitty Hell doom down the road), you are able to actually translate what has just been said into language that normal people can comprehend.

In this case: “I have been a Hello Kitty fanatic so long that I fail to realize that a middle aged man with a beer gut in tight Hello Kitty underwear is not something cute, but something that could get him arrested and sent to jail for a long period of time. Even with this blind spot to my senses, I do know if I can get a photo of him in said underwear that it will be perfect blackmail material that will guarantee that I get any Hello Kitty item I want for the next 10 years.”

It’s not going to be a pretty sight when these arrive and it will certainly mean that new depths of Hello Kitty Hell will be reached…

Sent in by Hayley who should have to see all her men wear these monstrosities everyday for the rest of her life for thinking for even a second that sending me this photo could produce anything positive in the world…

196 thoughts on “Low Rise Men's Underwear

  1. Are you ever going to be masculine enough to not feel threatened by wearing Hello Kitty? It’s so sad reading your pathetic attempts to justify why mens Hello Kitty clothes are bad when it’s obvious that it is your lack of being a real man. Real men have no issues with Hello Kitty because they have the confidence necessary to be real men, unlike you.

    And you also have some nerve putting words into your wife’s mouth. She wants to spend quality time with you and even thinks you would look good in Hello Kitty clothes and all you can do is badmouth her. Maybe if you gained a bit more respect for her and yourself, this wouldn’t be such a mind numbing blog to read all the time. We are all getting tired of your rants that you think are funny, but only show what a juvenile you really are.

  2. I have to agree w/ MHKH a beer gut and those undies would be hideous, add pasty white skin and that is one serious turn off. But, on the other hand the model looks adorable in them. They wouldn’t be on very long πŸ˜‰

  3. I have to say the model is really working those undies.

    But unless the men are a model, they shouldn’t wear those. Wouldn’t be attractive at all. At least they’re not pink.

  4. Darlene are you writing from a mental hospital? If so the doctors may want to up your meds and decrease your internet time.

  5. these are cute. however. the ONLY gentlemen who should wear these are those gentlemen who buy/request them for themselves, and not those who are shamed/guilted into wearing them by the woman in their life.

  6. Darlene, we get it, you have no sense of humor. Why do you have this blog bookmarked if you hate it so much? Oh you love to be obnoxious. I get it. Get a life.

  7. I am sorry I rather be freeballing before wear these, If they have boxers or regular briefs………… well what you don’t see will not hurt you. *

    * prints on underwear make not sense for me.

  8. you poor sot. all though id have to admit, id wouldnt mind having that model in my room hello kitty briefs or not.>:>

  9. O_________O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; *HURRK*

    They must have paid that guy a king’ ransom. Or he’s a blooming fairy.

    Excuse me, I have to clean up this vomit now.

    (Also, what HTML can be used in the comments?)

  10. Who ever thought that eye-candy would make me want to gouge my eyes out. I’m more scarred by that than the nude HK.

  11. Ewww! Nastay.

    And darlene, hate ta break it to ya, but I would question the masculinity, sexuality, and sanity of any man who would willingly wear that monstrosity they call men’s underwear.

  12. I…uh…wow. My goodness me. Those are some tight…briefs.
    Are we sure this isn’t a joke? The irony is almost too perfect – toned, masculine man paired with an icon that can only be called girly.

  13. I missed Darlene. I’m fairly confident “she” is actually some guy in middle management who gets yelled at by his boss all day and this is the only thing he can think of to do to entertain himself. But “her” remarks crack me up and are part of the charm of HKH for this Hello Kitty nut.

    As for the featured product, yeah, dude, I hope the underpants gnomes steal them from you to make a profit.

  14. okaaaayy…these are not bad at all. Mostly because the guy is so hot, that it really cancels out the hello kitty.

  15. Oh goody..an accessory to match the hello kitty condom. It is very important in today’s society to that one “accessories”.

  16. @Magic Smoothie, obvious tags like bold, italic and underscore, and I think strike through and changed font (name and size) if you know the tags. A limited range of smilies like (with spaces added to defeat the interpreter : ) , ; ) , : ( , ; ( , : evil : , and : twisted : which give you πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰ πŸ™ ;( :eveil: and 😈 respectively.

  17. Ok, ;( apparently doesn’t work as crying or mad and I mistyped πŸ‘Ώ Still I missed : D , : P : πŸ˜€ and πŸ˜› anyway.

  18. Meow! I would NEVER make my guy wear those….but dang that guy is hot in those! In real life, if I saw that on a guy, I would be wondering where his boyfriend was…..?

  19. YEEEEEEEGODS. Normally I wouldn’t type something like this, but I’m sure you’ll understand. Those red lines in front have fine red print that says, “Cut Here.”

    If a guy wants to wear those things, that’s one thing, but being shamed, guilted, and THEN blackmailed on top of that… well pal, I just pray to all that’s holy that you were exaggerating.

  20. @ Sharon, you’ve given me an idea. Make those lines “tear here, please teat here NOW!!” (and get me the h*11 out of these things) πŸ˜‰

  21. Dear god why?! What twisted sick depraved mind came up with these? There is only one group of men i can think of who would willingly wear them, and even then its touch and go.

    And Darlene, honey, go outside of your home and interact with REAL people, and learn about life, and most importanly HUMOUR. Sheesh girl, if you hate this guy so much then why read his blog?

    I despise HK for all it is and stands for these days, and I am female. I adore hats and shoes and pretty clothes and other things, but if anyone gave me anything HK related I would never ever speak to them again.

    Girl, find a healthy interest.

  22. If my husband wore these I would divorce him. That underwear is so gay that my gay friends wouldn’t wear it. If you ever find a man wearing these, he must be dating Darlene! Gross icky and distgusting *barf*

  23. OH MY GOD! Scariest Hello Kitty item. Ever.

    My daughter just came down here as I was reading this post and said that the “man panties” are scary.

  24. Eww, blech.

    And I thought the nude drawing from the last post would be the worst thing I ever saw on HKH.

    (Just read Georga’s post, “man panties are scary,” I’m laughing through the nausea).

  25. I love this web site. Whenever I start thinking that “I’ve seen it all,” something like THIS comes along to disabuse me of that quaint notion.

  26. as a hello kitty fan, i am deeply disturbed. the fear of actually seeing those on my boyfriend now haunts me.

    oh dear god why?

  27. The red patch at the crotch looks rather disturbing, as though the model is having a hemorrhage or a horrible case of bleeding hemorrhoids. D:

  28. fsk them being for men, because I actually would love a pair for myself..

    ugh I can’t believe I said that..

    but I wish I had a butt like that guy! LOL

  29. @Catherine: I agree, 10 seconds, tops!
    @ Sharon: “Those red lines in front have fine red print that says, β€œCut Here.” “…. I have scissors!!!!!!!! πŸ˜‰

    I would SO wear these… I could make a certain man I know wear these.. they’d be about the same as him wearing his RED “Remove Before Flight” Boxer Briefs… which I laugh hysterically because he is a pilot!

  30. Okay, those are totally girl’s underwear that they sell to look like guy’s underwear, but a guy just has them on. Honestly, look how tight they are. I really have never run across “low rise” boxer briefs in my shopping either.

  31. Unless someone had a fetish for men in tight undies with HK on it, I’d say go buy them.

    And I agree Ando. It would be humiliating for the man then the woman.

    Oh and by the way, I’m bacckkkk~ πŸ˜€

  32. @ Indiana. Hi! πŸ˜€
    I’ve got a present for you, and I think you’ll need it after the last entry; an industrial-size bottle of brain bleach! πŸ˜‰

  33. those have GOT to be fake. i understand HK putting out the mens shirts. those are cool. especially since i have 1 friend who is a guy who LOVES hello kitty and is always sad he has to buy girl’s shirts.

    i think hello kitty needs to stick to girls underwear. but at least i can scare my fiance with this photo by telling him i’ve ordered him a pair. >:D

  34. Darlene better be wearing that already coz’ she finds it insulting for people to hate the undies. Ok darlene, you can have the undies(i mean Hello Kitty Low Rise MENS underwear, hahahahahaha)

  35. Wow… he sure knows how to fill a pair of underwear! But seriously, no matter how great this male model looks, it doesn’t take away the fact that he’s wearing HK underwear and it’s just so wrong. When it comes to gender equality, there is none when it comes to HK… it belongs and should be left to the girls! If I was stupid enough to buy these for my husband, he would not only file for a divorce, but put my crazy a** in the looney bin too!

  36. @Kitteh!!
    Wow. Thanks! I love this! πŸ˜€

    @Catherine and mhkitty06,
    Thank you!

    *cries* Such a warm welcome! I didn’t know if you’d still remember me. But now I do. =D

  37. “My cousin came to my room and thought the guy was menstruating…”
    (catches breath from laughing so hard I fell out of chair) that was TOO good!

  38. Um….. Wow! I love hello kitty as much as the next girl but the thought of any man wearing these is a total turn off. Please tell me they are really made for girls and the model is just a fruit?! Mr hkh if you were to wear these around the house for a day maybe the wife would realize hello kitty is not good for your sanity?? Lol

  39. Particularly if he were to wear them on his, head, stick an “Hello Kitty pencil” (not a bad idea for a product for 6YOs) up each nostril, and say “wibble”. OTOH that might also mean he’s a fan of British comedy shows?

  40. Those briefs are so obviously made for gay men. As a gay man, I know when things are being marketed to me. As a fellow Hello Kitty lover/hater, I explain my fascination with her thus: Sometimes even gay guys like a little pussy.

  41. Mmmmmm Helloooooo Kitty ! Meoww lolol
    I wouldnt give that as a gift to a guy but I must say the guy in the ad does have some nice buns lol

  42. I think they are adorable. However if the man was larger, pasty white, or hairy it would be completely disgusting. I would never make my boyfriend where them…however i might. ^_^ I think guys underwear is more comfy than girls anyways. hahah.

  43. you can see his veins jutting out of his lovely underwear in top right corner Front showing picture…. its is very… well..

    Allow me to gouge my eyes out now thank you.

  44. Okay so this needs to go on failblog as ‘Straight man’s underwear FAIL!’
    Like was said before, unless all men are as hot looking as the model in this pic, then these really should not be put out on the market!

  45. @monkey

    I still can’t believe you cure my hiccups with theeatening me with these undies. Freaky but that’s how much unease they bring to my life lol.

  46. OMG, I am just waiting for the guy who will show up at my door with Hello Kitty briefs. Doesn’t matter what his body type – I will attack him as if I were a Hello Kitty!

  47. i think there is a second darlene. the first one said she wasn’t going to comment anymore. someone probably is acting as her…not that hard.

  48. @Erin,

    They must be a hell of a good actor then. It sounds just like her. If it is a kick ass actor, I HAVE to meet them. πŸ˜€

  49. Why no new entries to Hello Kitty Hell in almost 3 weeks?? Did the HK men’s underwear send you over the edge or something?? LOL

  50. Aloha,

    Found your site by searching to find the Hello Kitty House in Oahu. I live on the island of Maui and in Honolulu there are quite a lot of Asian people who are CRAZY for Hello Kitty. It is a cute concept (if you are 5, and are a girl) any how, there is a home that is pepto bismo pink with Mickey Mouse and Hello Kitty on the Garage. This is in a neighborhood where homes range in the tens of millions. I have photos, just thought I would let you know. If you want me to send them I will.
    Have a great day and keep up the great satire. Alesha Brown

  51. I would like to announce that I have come to an inevitable conclusion. I can no longer keep up this charade. Yes, Hello Kitty means a great deal to me, perhaps more than to any of her so called ‘fanatics.’ When I see someone insult Kitty, it does get my blood boiling. Then you have an entire site such as this one where the entire point is to bash her. It was unbearable, and I hoped that I could somehow convince the owner of this site to change his views. Alas, I now see that this is not possible. I have also concluded that my immature arguments and insults to your masculinity were petty, at best, and counter-intuitive. I hope that you will find it in your hearts to forgive me. I think that if you were put in my shoes, you would have done same to defend YOUR sister.

    Mimi Kitty

  52. has the HK corporate machine slowed in these economically challenged times? or have they finally run out of product ideas??
    no new posts in nearly a month!

  53. It’s the fact that they’re tight as all hell that makes it so.. disturbing.

    maybe if they were boxers, it wouldn’t be as bad?
    I’d question the boys sexuality if I saw them wearing these.

  54. Now the serious question, where can you buy them. I absolutely love them and I think they would be a perfect pair of undies for this years gag gift to my husband.

  55. Huh…. well HK really does go everywhere and now she can go up mens butts!

    Was that too much? Maybe I should have held back a little…. πŸ˜‰

  56. In response to Comment from darlene made here on Mar03-2009/6:10am:
    WOW….! Yikes darlene….tone it down a bit huh. Take a breath, and get a grip! Are you this confrontational in your personal life, or just in “post/blog life”? Your husband is probably too afraid of you to wear these… even if HE wanted to!

  57. I’m not gay.
    I am male.
    I look nothing like the model.
    I do tend to prefer tight underwear.
    I like HK.
    I would buy these.
    I would wear these.

    I’d wear under trousers/shorts and no-one would know or think to question my sexuality.

  58. Um, correct me if I’m wrong, but “Darlene” gives off the strong and unmistakable oder of parody-troll.
    And those underwear are perfect!
    If you’re a stripper.

  59. Ok so he looks vedy nice in these but um i think you have ti be tan and masculine to wear these. Hell Im a chick and i would wear this to bed lol;)

  60. I am a happily married man and I would buy these for myself. My wife, who is a Chinese, and I enjoy wearing matching Hello Kitty apparel together. When we married, I decided to learn to like the things my wife liked. The interesting thing is that I came to LOVE Hello Kitty. We are not some kind of dominatrix couple or anything like that, just regular every folks. I am confident in my manhood. Hello Kitty with us is just cute love.

  61. This is a but crack accident in the making.
    ps mr. HkH I perfer to do my Kittification at Sario or Target, I would never wear this.

  62. oh come on please please please tell me where to find these? I’m not bothering any straight women, can you email me where to get these? I would be incredibly happy to know!!!

  63. Responding to darlene. If you are so tired, why are you reading this blog? Go to bed and whine there instead of here where it bothers everyone else. Men do not wear Hello Kitty underwear, because if they do there is nothing masculine left about men, so they cannot even feel masculine. Hello Kitty is horrid on it’s own, but clothes are just an abomination. No one in his right mind would wear something like that. It’s just common sense, your argument is a useless rant about something that you like, but you clearly have no sense of fashion.

  64. my b/f likes hello kitty and he has a hot back and ass like that , i am wondering if a guy likes hello would they mind a gift like this , cause i want to give it

  65. haha… me and my mom are hello kitty lover , but i still surprised with this … hahaha… it’s a big … ugh…. i don’t realized that (maybe) my father had the same felling as yours …. they keep on buying me hello kitty products since i was a little girl… although your blog is a little bit wiered .. ( i think if you hate hello kitty ,then you should just leave it away ) i still enjoy reading it …

  66. If you have an entire site devoted to how much you hate your wife’s hobby, then why did you marry her in the first place?

  67. My husband has totally given in. When he saw them he just sighed and said “I guess I’ll have to wear those at some point.”

    He could be so agreeable just because I can’t seem to find my camera *anywhere*

  68. I want to buy a pair (women’s style) just so I can rub my butt in her face (i’d have to wear them inside out but it’d be worth it) and that’s what I thought when I saw these. Also, let her take a photo, because once she sees it she’ll realize how anti-cute that would be.

  69. they are made by the manufacturer “BeFierce”, and appear to not be a current model. BeFierce underwear seem to range from $25 (rare) to $100 or more. try a simple google-search for “BeFeirce” underwear and you’ll see cuts and styles exactly like these (but NOT the hello kitty unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it).

  70. *HaHAHA!!*
    This entire site is a ball of laughs!! I use to be Hello Kitty crazy also. I bought things and kept them hidden away on displays, never to be touched or used. That’s just too insane for my life now.
    I will however agree with you about the men’s hello kitty Low rise briefs….
    The only men who should be wearing those are a feminine man, gay men and maybe sexually confused men. I don’t think any guy who’s testicles have dropped would step foot in low rise briefs let alone low rise hello kitty ones!! *haha* Most guys who wear their pants low want to show their boxers/briefs, the waistband, whatever.
    Sorry you have to live in Hello Kitty Hell man. Was it something that progressed over time or you knew from the get go?

  71. People, a guy doesn’t feel “their manliness is threatened” by Hello Kitty underwear, it IS just plain awkward for a man to wear TIGHT, LOW RISE UNDERWEAR with a kitty on them that little girls have on their pillowcases. You catch my drift?

  72. Lmao!
    ok i think these are funny as hell. I dont mind them on a hot guy as a funny thing but like the blogger said on someone with a beer belly i think i’d puke

  73. I really love HK underwear, but when I’ve showed it to my boyfriend craving for appreciation he disappointed me saing: ” Cmon, the only man who is going to wear it is fat, creepy and Japanese-obsessed geek. =( Nevertheless my kitty will say HELLO to that guy;)……

  74. Ok, firstly, hello Kitty is a girls thing. I’ve never seen any guy wear a bag or have pencil case with Hello Kitty, well except in Japan. But Hello Kitty men’s underwear? It’s sooooo sooo unacceptable.

  75. I am male, 24, straight, and would TOTALLY wear those briefs. I cant imagine anything that would be more effective in bringing a woman’s face down to crotch level than flashing those undies on the club floor.

  76. These are the sexiest effin things I have ever seen in my life. I make my bf wear them and he does cuz he loves me…?

  77. My girlfriend loves Hello Kitty, so I got these as a V-day present for her…. a month later I had to buy six more becuase I noticed that whenever I wore them my girlfriend really appreciated it, and so did I.

  78. Darlene: take a xanax and calm it down about 50 notches, its a little overboard to call his “man”hood into question over not liking HK. (she’s probably some 300 lb wildebeest who hasn’t seen a real man her entire life.)
    I hate to say I love these, I’d love them even if they didnt have HK on them, but HK makes it even better. I will buy a pair for my boyfriend who will more than likely only wear these once for my amusement and never again, but as I see it, I wear things for his amusement he can wear something for mine πŸ˜‰

  79. I recently showed these to my gay co-worker. I asked him if he would wear them. He informed me that these were too gay even for him. Will someone please tell Sanrio that they can not just put hello kitty on everything and expect it to be marketable. This is ridiculous!!!

  80. I actually have this pair of undies, and yes, I’m a gay guy. I’m not a flamboyant queer, but I enjoy underwear that are on the harder side to find. It’s something you won’t see too many guys wearing. Feminine symbol or not, I think they’re cute as hell and they definitely stand out.

  81. STOP BULLYING DARLINE!!! SHE DID NOTHING WRONG, YOU WAR LOVING SATANISTS!!!! If this ruin’s my sanriotown rep or attract’s flamers to me I don’t give one.

    Seriously; You LIKE it when men OBSESS over VIOLENT movies and VIOLENT video games and pledge to LOATHE all things NICE and PEACEFULL and INNOCENT??!!!!!!

    Go to hell. All of you.

    I detest ANY Hello Kitty fanatic who is acting like nothing but a brainwashed zombie. Quit your fucking whinning. The only thing wrong with these undies is how tight they are.

    Darline, don’t let them bully you. Your sticking up for the planet. This topic makes me want to atempt suiside all over again. How could humans be so..soo…..


  82. My God not have pitty on any of you…

    If Hello Kitty is EVER evil, this thread is living PROOF of it. And all who posted in it that bullied Darline!!!*scowl’s*

  83. hey i would really love a pair of these! but im not going to bug you about it or leave you terrible comments about how much of a dick you are or anything like that. i just want to say anyway that you are hot and those really fit you well! and im glad i get to do this and talk to you even for this long! please reply!

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