One mans hell with cute overload
Seriously, how difficult is it to make a pair of jeans? Apparently, it’s more difficult for Sanrio than for every other clothes manufacturer in the world. Either that or the evil feline wants her fanatic base to be known to each and every person in the world because there is no way in hell that any other person besides a fanatic who would ever be caught in a pair of these. I can state this fact unequivocally even though I’m a man and have no fashion sense. Don’t believe me? Just take a look…
If a Hello Kitty fanatic is going to have a Hello Kitty Christmas tree, you know that they are sure to have a Hello Kitty Christmas wreath as well. Now you know the reason that suicides spike during the holidays:
Sent in by Gabe
I never understood the appeal of Blythe dolls. If you have spent even a little time on this blog, you already know I have absolutely no comprehension of what goes on inside the mind of Hello Kitty fanatics. So the combination of the two into a Hello Kitty Blythe doll pretty much defies all reason in my opinion which will mean it will be a huge hit with both Hello Kitty and Blythe fanatics. One more reason to lose hope in the human race ever surviving…
Left on Twitter by whereisjeannie (via blythedoll)
Hello Kitty is up to her old tricks of putting lots of sparklies on ordinary crap and using the pink horror to blind Hello Kitty fanatics into paying a small fortune for it. When my wife showed me this Hello Kitty Judith Leiber piece (while strongly hinting it would make a wonderful gift) she didn’t seem to see the irony in a “hobo bag” costing $4000. When my wife doesn’t get it from me for Christmas, I wonder if she will believe that a hobo beat me to it?
If you want to thoroughly traumatize your ears and eyes, while at the same time wasting two minutes of your life, all you have to do is listen to the high pitch, diabetes inducing noise of Mano Erina’s song Love & Peace = Paradise (Hello Kitty version of course). Having people scratch their fingernails on chalkboards would be less painful and much more appealing to the ears. You have been warned:
Sent in by Lillian
I received an email asking me what Hello Kitty item I thought would be safe for a reader to give to his Hello Kitty fanatic girlfriend. The simple answer is that nothing is safe because once you begin buying anything with the evil feline on it, you have unknowingly signed a contract that you are OK with any amount of Hello Kitty in your life. This contract may seem cute and innocent at first, but it won’t take long to see that you have made a deal that is far worse than giving the devil your soul.
The unfortunate reality is that you are probably facing the choice of getting something Hello Kitty or facing the equivalent of sleeping on the couch in a Hello Kitty sleeping bag. While I can’t tell you what would be good to buy, I can definitely tell you what you want to avoid. Here is the Hello Kitty Hell top 10 guide to what you absolutely do not want to buy a Hello Kitty fanatic for Christmas:
Why? It seems innocent enough, but if you give in here, it’s straight downhill into the deepest depths of Hello Kitty Hell for the rest of the relationship. In the annals of time and Hello Kitty couples, by far the biggest regret that Hello Kitty fanatic partners have is that they once thought that the Hello Kitty toaster would make a “cute” gift and purchased it.
It’s that time of the week again where you know that you should not be anywhere near this blog if you want to keep any of your sanity or sleep well in the coming 7 days. Go outside and cut down a Christmas tree (preferably the non Hello Kitty type) — you’ll be much happier than if you decide to take a peak at the evil feline horror show that didn’t make the front page this past week:
Hello Kitty Christmas Tree (photo update)
Hello Kitty Swine Flu Mask (photo update)
Hello Kitty Sweatshirt Will Kill You
Hello Kitty Must Die
Hello Kitty Wash Your What?!?
Hello Kitty Fanatic Significant Other (photo update)
There is no doubt that Hello Kitty loves her guns, so there really is no surprise that the evil feline would also eventually find her face on bombs. While these are artwork, you know that this has inspired the employees at Sanrio, and that it’s only a matter of time before she shows her mug on the real thing…
Buy a Hello Kitty sweatshirt and die. That is the warning that the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has issued for Hello Kitty Zip Up Hoodie Sweatshirts by NTD Apparel. Hello Kitty shows her love to children by providing them an effective way to strangle themselves with the hoodie drawstring. Would you expect anything less from the evil feline?
Sent in by Thomas (via cpsc)
It’s not often you come across the perfect gift for the Hello Kitty fanatic, but Hello Kitty Must Die
Sent in by Jennifer