I thought when I received a Hello Kitty glasses that things couldn’t get any worse. How wrong I was. I should know by now that things can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell. For some unfathomable reason, someone upon seeing the glasses thought it would actually be a good idea to send me something else that places unimaginable fear into my life. So what could be worse than micro dot pink bow Hello Kitty glasses? How about a pair of Hello Kitty contact lenses?
Of course, I immediately thought of my Hello Kitty contacts post and realized that if I want to keep what little sanity I still have left, I can never let my wife wear these.
I really have no idea why anybody would want to actually wear a pair of these contacts except if they were looking to alienate every single person that actually cares about them. If you think about it, there is something so disturbingly wrong with having to look at somebody with Hello Kitty eyes that there really should be some type of law against it. It’s a thing of nightmares. It’s the type of stuff that Stephen King cannot even imagine. It’s taking the worst torture possible, and elevating it another hundred levels. Seriously, can you think of anything more horrific or spine chilling than having to actually look at somebody with these contacts in their eyes? You know that these are what you’re going to be staring directly into when the Judgement Day comes.
Apparently these come in a variety of different colors, but I have absolutely no idea what color the ones sent to me are (and there is no way in Hello Kitty Hell that I’m going to open them up and to find out). I imagine that they are the color that would make any sane person want to instantly vomit.
If you enter this contest, you agree that you are over 18 years old and that you aren’t stupid enough to actually stick this crap in your eyes. This is a novelty item. I have no doubt that if you were to stick anything Hello Kitty into your eyes, you would regret it for the rest of your life. It really doesn’t matter if they are “contact lenses” — the result of doing so is not going to and good. Just don’t do it. If you get these, destroy them. They should not be placed into your eyes, and you take 100% responsibility for your own idiotic tendencies.