One mans hell with cute overload
It may just be me, but this balloon looks like something that would come from a horror movie and terrorize the entire cast throughout. Then again, that’s what I feel about all things related to the evil feline, so I may be a bit biased…
Sent in by Kylie
There seems to be a growing trend of Hello Kitty fanatics that not only get joy out of the torment detailed on the blog, but also in getting me in trouble with my wife. An email with the title “Hello Kitty plush” arrived in my email box and I made the bad assumption there would be nothing to worry about. So when my wife asked to see it, I didn’t even hesitate. Who would have guessed this would be the photo:
Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:
Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.
And onto the original post…
In her quest to bring “love and happiness” to one and all, the evil feline has given us a wide assortment of Hello Kitty guns and an Hello Kitty armoured personnel carrier. So I guess it should be no surprise to see a variety of Hello Kitty hand grenades available in Call of Duty:
Let me state for the record that I really hate fashion magazines. It has nothing to do with the heroin addict thin models that grace the pages and the unrealistic “perfect” body image that they send to those that read them. I hate them for a much more basic reason. From time to time, the editors of these magazines get the ludicrous idea (or, more likely, get their palms greased with lots of Hello Kitty money) that doing photo shoots where male models wear evil feline crap like stickers on their face is a good idea and pretend that it’s a fashionable new trend:
If you have followed the blog for any length of time, you know that I have said time and again that the evil feline is trying to take over the world. One would assume that this statement would be sufficiently broad to cover all the havoc that Hello Kitty wants to create in her never ending quest to turn everything a Pepto Bismol pink, but I now see that I have vastly underestimated her plans. Welcome to the future of space travel in the Hello Kitty spaceship:
Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:
Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Tattoo
The truth finally slips out in a 35th Anniversary Mad Scientist display in Macau. Called Hello Kitty Evolution, we see the way that the evil feline spreads her paws to Kittify one place after another (click on image to enlarge):
I guess the Hello Kitty tongue stud and the Hello Kitty lip tattoo weren’t the only oral fixations the evil feline has when branding herself on others. Apparently it’s also important for her to exist as a Hello Kitty tongue tattoo:
It’s always an adventure (to put it diplomatically) when walking with a Hello Kitty fanatic. Usually they look at my wife, then look at me bravely smiling and give that sympathetic look — tears beginning to well up in their eyes at the pure injustice of it all — which is reserved for the truly unfortunate beings of the world; small kids starving in Africa and me.
Then there are the times when I am forced out on my own with some Hello Kitty item in hand and have to face the unapproving wrath reserved for serial killers and terrorists on the nation’s most wanted list.
So when Not That Kind of Girl decided to parade around as a Hello Kitty fanatic as an experiment, I instantly felt sympathy for her.
You would think that one Hello Kitty computer would be able to satisfy the Hello Kitty masses, but that seems to be far from reality. There are far too many Hello Kitty computers in existence to feel positive about the future of the world we live in (from special occasion Hello Kitty computers to Hello Kitty computer mods). Add yet another one of these to the list of pink hellishness with the Hello Kitty MiNew A10 nettop computer:
