We all instinctively know that Hello Kitty guns are an extremely bad idea. There is no need to show us. In fact, we also know instinctively that if we did see a fanatic with guns that we would cringe in the best case scenario and our brains would be scarred for life in the worst. This photo dramatically shows us the worst case scenario:
While all seasons suck when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, the end of the year is the worst. I know immediately when October arrives because people start sending me stuff like Hello Kitty Halloween costumes and Hello Kitty pumpkins. And that is just the tip of the iceberg of the Hello Kitty Halloween crap that exists out there. To perfectly illustrate this point, I present the exclusive Hello Kitty Build-A-Bear Halloween orange witch:
Of all living things on earth that may have a comparable Hello Kitty Hell to my own, the closest may be the dogs of Hello Kitty owners. When your owner thinks it’s a good idea to give you a Hello Kitty ID tattoo or simply dress you up like this (or this or this or this — it is quite sad that I could keep going on and on), being a dog owned by a Hello Kitty fanatic can’t be an easy life.
Knowing this, it becomes plainly obvious when a creature did something beyond evil in their past life, and now the karma has come back to haunt them in their new form. There is no other explanation when you see a photo like this:
One would think that it would be impossible to make a harem of sex dolls stored in the closet any creepier, but that is definitely not the case. That’s because when you place a large Hello Kitty plush on the top shelf to watch over them and a Hello Kitty night light on the floor so they don’t get scared at night, you pretty much have put together the creepiest room possible. To keep my sanity and prevent countless nightmares, I’m not even going to think about why those Hello Kitty items may be there…
Sent in by Getsu
If there is one thing that the evil feline can’t stand, it’s her image appearing on stuff where she hasn’t been able to fleece the buyer for the majority of their last paycheck. Because of this, Hello Kitty tattoos have always posed a problem for her. The solution for body piercings was simple. The idea of a Hello Kitty tattoo gun never seemed to catch on except in prison. So Hello Kitty has done the only thing she can to capitalize on the Hello Kitty tattoo trend by creating a Hello Kitty tattoo plush:
The fact that Hello Kitty sushi exists is a pretty good damnation of the human race. That the evil feline also encourages fanatics to wear Hello Kitty chopsticks in their hair when she monetises this trend just further proves that all is not right in the world these days.
Sent in by Jessica
Update Mike Mozart reviews Hello Kitty plush for his failtoys Youtube channel:
There seems to be a growing trend of Hello Kitty fanatics that not only get joy out of the torment detailed on the blog, but also in getting me in trouble with my wife. An email with the title “Hello Kitty plush” arrived in my email box and I made the bad assumption there would be nothing to worry about. So when my wife asked to see it, I didn’t even hesitate. Who would have guessed this would be the photo:
Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:
And a few photo post updates:
I guess it could have gone without saying since anything that involves Hello Kitty is “creepy” to some extent, but it seems to take on horror film dimensions when a Hello Kitty plush comes to life in the back of a music video. I just sat there watching — waiting for Hello Kitty to produce Alien fangs and suck the life out of Lisa Loeb. Either that or have Hello Kitty begin whacking Lisa Loeb over the head with the guitar until she was slumped in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor. The more I live in Hello Kitty Hell, the more convinced I become that Hello Kitty could be a huge horror movie franchise. Doubt me? Watch the video: