Holiday

Hello Kitty Grim Reaper

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October is the start of the worst three months if you happen to live with a Hello Kitty fanatic. The main issue is that the evil feline has her birthday on November 1 which is like giving the Hello Kitty fanatic vast amounts of crack cocaine every day for the entire month preceding it. Halloween only feeds into the frenzy because the holiday gives the fanatic an excuse to actually dress up as Hello Kitty under the guise of a Halloween costume even though we all know this is what she would prefer to wear on a daily basis. The result is that Halloween pretty much guarantees that Hello Kitty pumpkins are going to be carved and Hello Kitty costumes are coming out of the closet to be worn way too many times. Then when the birthday ends, good old Christmas is just around the corner and all the Hello Kitty gifts the Hello Kitty fanatic imagines she will receive continue to ensure that Hello Kitty Hell will be burning red hot into the New Year.

With this in mind, I’m already mentally preparing myself for the onslaught of Hello Kitty Halloween costumes (and other Hello Kitty
Halloween crap) that are bound to fill my mailbox in the coming weeks. If I’m going to have to see these, let’s at least hope that most of them go for reality and show Hello Kitty for who she really is like this Hello Kitty grim reaper costume:

Hello Kitty grim reaper costume

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Hello Kitty Tent

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It’s a given when you live in Hello Kitty Hell that something worse than what you have already seen will come along. You know it’s going to happen and you just prepare yourself for that that day coming down the road. What is not anticipated is that the horror will show up so quickly in your email box. In response to the Hello Kitty camper, you knew that there would be a Hello Kitty tent out there:

hello-kitty-tent

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Hello Kitty Camper

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The weather is getting nicer and when you’re in Hello Kitty Hell, the number one priority is to get out of the house and as far away from the Hello Kitty mess inside as possible. That, of course, was my thinking when asking my wife to go camping, but it seems that the evil feline can’t even leave the great outdoors in peace with the existence of the Hello Kitty camper:

hello-kitty-camper

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Hello Kitty Halloween Nightmare

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For some reason people feel it’s important to send photos of their Hello Kitty Halloween themed crap which pretty much makes Halloween one of the holidays I least look forward to and a Hello Kitty Hellish nightmare. The only bright spot is that there is no Halloween in Japan so I escape the indignity of having to dress up in some Hello Kitty themed costume with my wife (one reason I dread ever moving back to the US). Some of those photos that for some inexplicable reason I didn’t delete against my better judgement:

Hello Kitty pumpkin costume

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Costume – Photo of Horror 4

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It’s bad enough when Hello Kitty fanatics decide to dress up as Hello Kitty (here is far more proof than anyone in their right mind would ever want to see if you need any), but by far the worst part is when the Hello Kitty fanatic decides that the significant other must also participate (see photo of horror photo 1, photo 2 and photo 3 and realize what a wonderful life you have compared to these poor guys) as part of the costume. Here is another poor soul that you can add to that list that is forced to humiliate himself at the bidding of his wife (oh, how I know how he feels…):

Hello Kitty costume

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Hello Kitty Easter Egg Massacre

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It’s not often that I’m torn when it comes to anything Hello Kitty. The fact that Hello Kitty Easter eggs exist pretty much proves that Hello Kitty Hell has already invaded every possible holiday rendering them all times of torture. So it would be nothing out of the ordinary for me to react to Hello Kitty Easter eggs with the typical disgust I do with most things by the evil feline. But there is something that made me smile as it tickled my sense of justice when Hello Kitty Easter eggs were forced to witness the massacre of other Hello Kitty Easter eggs:

A photo set in which we created Hello Kitty Easter eggs, then ate them and made the remaining eggs stare at the resulting colorful carnage. I thought you might find it amusing, at the very least.

Hello Kitty Easter egg massacre

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Hello Kitty Valentine

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For those of you who may not be aware, Valentine’s Day is celebrated a bit differently in Japan than it is in the US. In Japan, men don’t buy anything on Valentine’s Day – it is only women that buy chocolate or candy for men (then men reciprocate on March 14th on what is called “White Day”) Now one would make the logical assumption that since it is men that will be receiving the chocolate on Valentine’s Day, there would be no need for Hello Kitty Valentine’s Day chocolate, but alas, we are once again referring to Hello kitty where logic has never ruled the day. Thus, there is plenty of Valentine Day chocolate:

Hello Kitty Valentine

You might be able to imagine what my Valentine Day looked like. As my wife passed me box after box of Valentine’s Day chocolate, I had to greatly stifle the cringes that reflexively crossed my face as the evil feline time and again appeared on the chocolate (let it be said that there are way too many Hello Kitty chocolate Valentines in this world and I think I received them all…) Of course, I’m not actually allowed to eat any of this chocolate because as my wife said, “It’s too cute to eat. We should enjoy looking at it.”

I now have a shelf full of Hello Kitty Valentine chocolate staring back at me as I write this post which I can’t eat and will have to stare at for the rest of the month (at which point it will probably be packed away, but I still won’t be able to eat it). I know that it’s going to be a Hello Kitty Hellish rest of the month when I’m already hoping that my computer catches on fire and in the process melts all the Hello Kitty Valentines so I have a good excuse not to have to look at them anymore…

Photo sent in by Monica who deserves unthinkable torture for sending me this and forcing me to look at yet another Hello Kitty chocolate valentine on this most depressing day…

Hello Kitty Christmas Tree II

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I should have known that it was going to get worse (this is, after all, Hello Kitty Hell where things always get worse no matter how bad they may seem). Thus we move from the Hello Kitty pink Christmas tree to the Hello Kitty Plush Christmas tree:

Hello Kitty Xmas tree

Of course, my wife loves both and is talking about combining the two together (Pepto Bismol pink with lots of Hello Kitty plush and Hello Kitty ornaments — and people wonder why the holidays is the time when people kill themselves…) which would take the entire Hello Kitty Christmas tree to even new Hello Kitty Hell depths…

Sent in by cutesy (via likerogermoore) who should have to live with a tree like that for the entire year (and definitely get a new user name) for even thinking for a second it was a good idea to send that photo to me…