One mans hell with cute overload
I was hoping that I would not have to post this and that it would eventually fade from memory, but readers insist on continually sending me photos of this hideous Hello Kitty corset worn by Katy Perry as part of the MAC make-up collection. Considering what MAC did with their Hello Kitty MAC video and Hello Kitty MAC men, it’s not really a surprise that this monstrosity was also part of their collection:
I’m not sure what the appeal is to Hello Kitty scarification (one – two and three — then again, I have no idea what the appeal of Hello Kitty is…) other than Hello Kitty fanatics wanting to manufacture real pain in addition to the mental anguish that the evil feline brings to their lives. There isn’t any other explanation for things like this Hello Kitty bat scarification:
The problem with living with a Hello Kitty fanatic is that at some point that find yourself in a Hello Kitty car (unfortunately, in all likelihood the car in questions will be owned by your significant other which means that it is also your transportation some of the time). While my wife is doing her best to turn our car into the ultimate Hello Kitty monstrosity, she is not alone in this pursuit:
Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:
Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.
And onto the original post…
Because nothing shows the true cuteness and sweet side of Hello Kitty — and the love and happiness she brings to all — as 50,000 volts of electricity streaming through your body:
As with all things Hello Kitty, no matter how bad you think they have become, somewhere out there the evil feline is ready to show that things can always get worse. It was bad enough that they made a Hello Kitty cocktail, not to mention Hello Kitty wine, Hello Kitty sake and even Hello Kitty beer. From this one could expect that Hello Kitty whisky is just around the corner, but did someone really have to go and take it even a step further and create a Hello Kitty bar?
It really shouldn’t come as a surprise considering that there are Hello Kitty condoms that there is a Hello Kitty place to keep those condoms safe: The Hello Kitty condom keeper:
It’s a given when you live in Hello Kitty Hell that something worse than what you have already seen will come along. You know it’s going to happen and you just prepare yourself for that that day coming down the road. What is not anticipated is that the horror will show up so quickly in your email box. In response to the Hello Kitty camper, you knew that there would be a Hello Kitty tent out there:
When it comes to Hello Kitty food, one would logically conclude that it really couldn’t get much worse than Hello Kitty instant ramen, but of course this assumption would be coming from someone that doesn’t really know the evil feline. Not satisfied with only the freeze dry ramen noodle market, Hello Kitty has branched off in an attempt to corner the canned ramen noodle market as well:
You knew that it would eventually have to happen. Having already Hello Kittified virtually every real gadget out there, the evil feline has decided that it’s necessary to take the next logical step in her plot to take over the world — invent random gadgets that make no sense at all, but which she knows thousands of loyal Hello Kitty fans will buy because it has been Hello Kitty branded. There is no other explanation that can be rendered for the Hello Kitty skin analyser:
You really have to feel sorry for dogs that end up in Hello Kitty fanatic homes. Whether they are putting you in Hello Kitty dog clothes, placing a Hello Kitty muzzle over your nose, putting you in a Hello Kitty doghouse, placing a Hello Kitty head over your own or forcing you to get a Hello Kitty tattoo, life pretty much sucks all the way around. Of course, a Hello Kitty fanatic won’t stop there. When you’re old and you can no longer walk on your own, your owner will promptly embarrass you to no end by getting you a Hello Kitty dysplasia orthopedic brace:
