One mans hell with cute overload
Just to prove (as if this was something that we really needed) that things can always get worse with Hello Kitty, Japan Vogue has announced the Hello Kitty will be on the cover of the June magazine and will be featured in a photo spread wearing the latest autumn/winter designs from Dior:
I knew I had another Hello Kitty Hellish day coming when I opened up my email this morning. We already have established that the mixture of Hello Kitty and anything sexy is bound to produce something that is horror movie nightmarish and no matter how hard people try, Hello Kitty doesn’t make you hot and sexy. While Hello Kitty fanatics can’t seem to comprehend this universal truth, the following photo once again proves the point in the worst of ways:
HKH Editor note: All I can say is be very careful what you wish for when it comes to Hello Kitty Hell because things will always turn out much worse than you could ever imagine…enjoy the next two weeks
By darlene
Hello Kitty is a fashion icon that everyone loves and cherishes. True men embrace her because they have no fear of their masculinity. It’s is only men that have issues with their manhood that don’t like Hello Kitty and feel it necessary to say bad things about her. That is why Hello Kitty has started a men’s line of clothing which will be a huge success. This man is a true man and shows his fashion sense with a Hello Kitty snow cap:
Hello Kitty themed stores freak me out because there is no question that it will end up on my wife’s lists of places we must visit some day. It’s bad enough that I will someday be tortured into having to go to the Hello Kitty sweet shop, the Hello Kitty hotel (or even worse, the Hello Kitty love hotel) and the Hello Kitty hospital, but when it comes to evil feline and Hello Kitty bras, the Hello Kitty bra shop is a nightmare come true:
While the Hello Kitty vibrator pretty much put to rest any doubt that Sanrio wanted to expand beyond kids, the recent collaborative between Hello Kitty and Aki Hoshino pretty much continues along these lines. For those unfamiliar, Aki Hoshino is a Japanese bikini model that has turned that into a b-list TV career:
Not known for much else but the massive amount of flesh on her chest, Hello Kitty has embraced her with a new T-shirt line:
It’s never good to offer to help around the house when you live with a Hello Kitty fanatic. Even a simple “is there anything I can do to help clean?” will inevitably result in the evil feline forcing herself upon you. Case and point: Hello Kitty mop slippers:
There is not much in this world that I would consider a worse form of torture and torment than having to sit through something like this Hello Kitty fashion show:
While my wife would view attending something like this close to heaven, I think I would need to carry around the sack full of the Hello Kitty barf bags just to make it through the first few minutes. It’s painful enough having to watch it on a video, let alone imagining what it would be like attending live. Of course, my wife is already frantically searching to see if there are other Hello Kitty fashion shows planned for the future — which means that my life could soon dive much, much deeper into Hello Kitty Hell…
Sent in by kttops who really deserves an extra special horrifying punishment for 1) making me sit through that video 2) upon seeing it, convincing my wife that not seeing a Hello Kitty fashion show will mean her life has somehow lost all its meaning 3) Thinking for even a fraction of a second that it would be a good idea to send me something like this…
Damn, just damn (shakes head, tries to push image out of mind, feels ice-cream type headache invade brain and no matter what is attempted, the image won’t go away…)
I know that part of living in Hello Kitty Hell is the risk that something will show up in my email that will traumatize me for the rest of the day. On occasion the photo will traumatize me for the week. If it is really horrible, it may traumatize me for a month. I think this one is going to traumatize me for the rest of my life:
There isn’t much that crosses my computer screen these days that makes me jump back in my chair so that it topples over backwards and I instantly want to sear my eyes with hot branding irons, but this did. Damn…someone tell me how I can make this image go away…
Sent in my Lauren who should have to stare at this photo every morning for the rest of her life before she starts her day for thinking for an instant that sending me this photo could ever be a good idea…
It’s my nightmare come true. No other words needed…
Left in the comments by Suzanne who says “My boyfriend dressed up in Hello Kitty stuff, but its only because the messageboard he visits had a thread called humiliating photos of yourself you wouldn’t want people to see so we took some photos” (it’s seems that he succeeded quite well and probably more than he ever anticipated since his girlfriend is leaving them on blogs like mine – someone is going to have a hard time leaving the house for awhile). Of course, this fails to address the reason why all the Hello Kitty crap was available in the first place…
As if the Hello Kitty photo of horror wasn’t enough to show the pain that the significant other of Hello Kitty fanatics must endure (see, if you don’t have a Hello Kitty fanatic in your life, you may have made the terrible assumption that taking a photo like that was reserved for only special times such as a trip to Puroland), here are some more photos sent to me showing how Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to make their husbands wear Hello Kitty head gear just because they think it’s cute.
You know that terrified look that wild animals get when they are trapped and know that death is just around the corner? That is the look in this guy’s eyes. Shifting off to the side with a last second hope that there may be some type of escape only to realize that his life is trapped in Hello Kitty Hell and there is no escape. Unfortunately, I know the feeling and recognize the panicked look all too well.
It once again goes to show that Hello Kitty fanatics have no clue of the torture they administer to their significant others. This look of terror is “cute’ in The Hello Kitty fanatic’s eyes, and they somehow convince themselves that he is actually enjoying himself. Then they take it a step further and send the photos to a blog like mine where they get posted to humiliate the man even further.
Worse, my wife then wants to know why I am not willing to do such things when other husbands will. This ultimately leads my wife to attempt to get me to do so, and me eventually spending the night on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag.
Actually posting these photos was quite a dilemma. To do so is instant humiliation for the poor guy, and I know that he will not be able to leave his home for the next month due to embarrassment. At the same time, nobody would believe this actually takes place if I don’t (seriously, would anyone in their right mind think that dressing a man in a Hello Kitty hat would be a positive event in any way, shape or form and that people actually do it without photo proof?). I do need to send out a big “thank you” to him for taking another one for the Hello Kitty Hell team…
Sent in by Kelly, who deserves a special kind of Hell for 1) thinking it was a good idea to do this to her husband 2) thinking it was a good idea to take photos of the event 3) thinking it was a good idea to send the photos to me…