Hello Kitty Hamburger

My wife took one look at the Hello Kitty hamburger and decided that she wanted to go there to eat. Fortunately, this isn’t available in the US or we would likely be eating there on a regular basis. Of course, she believes that if something like this was started in the US, it would be a great hit. While I would hope that Americans would have a bit better judgement, I have learned never to underestimate the zeal of Hello Kitty fanatics.

Hello Kitty Hamburger

Hello Kitty Hamburger Set

We did eat a lot of different Hello Kitty food when we were in Japan. It actually wasn’t as bad as it might first appear. Yes, it is somewhat nauseating having Hello Kitty stare back at you while you are eating, but there is a sort of satisfaction being able to munch down on her image and know eventually where she will be coming out (I’m actually hoping that my wife reads this and decides that I’m never allowed to eat Hello Kitty food again). You have to find a glimmer of hope where ever you can when you live in Hello Kitty Hell.

These photos were sent to me by reader slomo and comes via indianpad.

Is This A Hello Kitty Fan Site???

Apparently the public relations firm that is promoting the new Sanrio site believes so:

Stumbled across your blog when I was doing searches for hellokitty stuff. Nice blog. Let me introduce myself first. I’m Allan Lianza, I work for Outblaze Limited. We provide online services to our clients. One of these clients are Sanrio. We run Sanriotown.com, a site that offers email, forum, games, video uploads and etc. We were wondering if you can post a PR of our new upgrades to the site? Its just a simple press release nothing fancy. I’m attaching a copy in this email if your interested.

Hoping for your reply and thanks!


Allan Lianza
Content Support Supervisor

????!!!???? (shaking head in disbelief) I thought it was a joke from one of my readers when I first saw it, but sure enough, a press release was attached. I attribute it to Hello Kitty fanatics not being able to comprehend that a negative word could ever be uttered against her. That is the only logical reason someone promoting a Hello Kitty site would ask me to help…I’m trying to escape.

Isn’t that typical Hello Kitty Hell for you? I complain and ridicule Hello Kitty fanatics and then the company that runs Hello Kitty asks me to help promote Hello Kitty. This nightmare is becoming even worse than I imagined….

Hello Kitty Sewing Machine

There should be a rule that Hello Kitty Xmas shopping can’t be considered until December (actually the rule should be that it is outlawed, but you have to begin with tiny steps). It seems that since I received my unwelcome Hello Kitty mouse and mouse pad, my wife has decided that the beginning of the Xmas season has begun. That means that every Hello Kitty items she finds that she wants ends up on a list of things I’m supposed to buy.

Her current #1 (which I’m desperately hoping will change) is this Hello Kitty sewing machine:

Hello Kitty Sewing Machine

Hello Kitty sewing machine

Hello Kitty sewing machine patterns

The part that she loves (and send shivers down my spine) is that it has a memory card that you can place in and it will automatically stitch Hello Kitty and her friends for you. I can already see the disasters that will occur if she ever ends up getting it. It’s start slowly with a Hello Kitty on a handkerchief or socks where nobody can see it. Before long, she’ll get a little bolder and decide that my polo shirts could use a Hello Kitty monogram. Once that happens, it’s all downhill and I won’t have a single piece of clothing that doesn’t have Hello Kitty somewhere on it.

You know that Hello Kitty Hell is taking on a whole new dimension when Hello Kitty items that aren’t even in the house start to haunt you…

Update: More Hello Kitty sewing machines

Hello Kitty transformer

Hello Kitty transformer

Hello Kitty Xmas Hell

I assumed that I wouldn’t have to deal with Hello Kitty Xmas Hell until next month, but as you can already tell from this blog, Hello Kitty Hell usually is not accommodating when it comes delaying anything Hellish. I went out to lunch with a friend this afternoon and when I came back, I found this attached to my computer:

Hello Kitty mouse

Now, I make my living on the computer and having to use a Hello Kitty mouse and mouse pad would take Hello Kitty Hell to unimaginable levels.

wife: Surprise!

me: ummm, what is that?!?

wife: Your Xmas present.

me: It isn’t Xmas yet…

wife: I couldn’t wait. They are soooo cute!

me: (please, please, let this be a dream – pinching myself to know that it is reality) Maybe we should put it away until Xmas (hopefully pleading under breath)

wife: Oh no. This is a special gift.

me: I feel bad. I didn’t get you anything. I think it is better to put it away until I get you something (not realising the trap I’d just snapped all around me)

wife: But you did! I got a matching pair for me from you!

So I sit, with Hello Kitty mouse glowing pink at me with Hello Kitty mouse pad underneath mocking me in her cuteness wondering what on earth can happen to make Hello Kitty Hell any worse…

Hello Kitty Mask

I actually write this post with some relief (if it is possible to write anything about Hello Kitty with relief). Eve sent some photos over about a Hello Kitty Halloween mask:

Hello Kitty mask

Hello Kitty mask

Hello Kitty mask

Why the relief? I spent the entire Halloween season dreading that my wife would find a Hello Kitty costume and insist on wearing it. In Japan, Halloween isn’t celebrated and the whole costume concept is still a bit new so I tipped-toed around making sure that the Hello Kitty Halloween costume didn’t get mentioned. Luckily, Eve was kind enough not to pass these along until after Halloween was over.

As with all things in Hello Kitty Hell, however, the relief comes with a big asterisk by its side. Now that my wife has seen “that utterly adorable costume” I think that Halloween next year is going to be one for the record books. It may be even worse than that — wife: “wouldn’t it be really cute if I wore that around the house?”

I’m praying that was just a passing thought and not a real question…

Hello Kitty Tombstone

I received the following email from a reader named Shane the other day:

Just wanted to give you some insite before it was to late and you are damned to eternity within hello kitty hell. I would suggest you go and pick out your casket and head stone now plus set in your will that these are the things you want to be your last will and testament. The chances that there are Hello Kitty tombstones and caskets are likely. So that you won’t have to spend the only time you will have without Hello Kitty staring at the monogrammed liner of a Hello Kitty casket and sleeping on your plush Hello Kitty pillow.

At first I chuckled to myself and that this was extreme even by Hello Kitty Hell standards, but as the day wore on, I couldn’t shake what he said and I started to get nervous. What if there really were Hello Kitty tombstones and caskets?

To my utter dismay it didn’t take me long to find a Hello Kitty Tombstone and having lived in Japan, I can confirm that it truly is a real gravestone:

Hello Kitty Tombstone
Photo courtesy of Greg from Greg.org

While I wasn’t able to unearth any photos of Hello Kitty coffins, it isn’t unreasonable to agree with Shane that they probably do exist if the tombstones exist.

This realization that once I leave this world, I still may not be free from my Hello Kitty Hell (just think about it – being buried in a Hello Kitty casket with Hello Kitty guarding your grave – this is the scariest story I’ve heard the entire Halloween season!) has thrown the entire Hello Kitty Hell purgatory to a whole new dimension. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

I would like to thank Shane for looking out for me and thinking about the future. It goes to show that Hello Kitty fanantics can’t be trusted to leave any item untouched…

post script: just as I was about to post this:

wife walks in: what’s that?

me: Nothing (trying to get the Hello Kitty tombstone off the computer screen)

wife: Oh, what a great idea! It’s sooooo cute. I want one of those. Then we can also order a Dear Daniel one too and we can be with them for eternity…

Hello Kitty Hell for eternity…I think it’s time I go and change my will…