There is nothing worse than when a Hello Kitty fanatic is about to have a birthday. That’s because the fanatic is expecting a gift, and the expectation is that you will get her a gift covered with images of the evil feline all over it. It’s really a no-win situation in every respect. If you buy what she wants, then you drive yourself further into the depths of Hello Kitty Hell. If you don’t buy what she wants, then you will suffer the consequences of hearing daily for the entirety of 2015 about how much happier she would have been if you would have just bought her that Hello Kitty diamond ring she wanted…
There are few things in life that are worse than the mixture of Hello Kitty and diamonds. Both put on the show that they are squeaky clean, and something that should be highly valued, but underneath there is this inherent evil that we all know is lurking there. It seems so obvious to those who can see things clearly for what they truly are, but there are those large corporations who manage to brainwash the fanatics into believing the messages behind their huge advertising campaigns. It goes without saying that both are ridiculously over priced…
The sad part is that despite these facts, fanatics seem to crave both with an uncontrollable appetite, continuously drooling when they see either. You know that when Hello Kitty and diamonds are put together, the high pitched shrill screams of “kawaiiiiiiiii!!!” won’t be far behind. The the incessant begging about how their life won’t be complete without whatever they just saw begins…
That is why you see so much Hello Kitty crap covered in diamonds, and why such monstrosities as the Hello Kitty heart diamond engagement ring were created. In fact, I have little doubt that it’s only a matter of time before the two are merged together into what will be referred to as the “Hello Kitty cut diamond” (you know the people at Sanrio are salivating at the thought of the cash something like that would bring in). What better way to haunt every person who has a HK fanatic in their life?
You know this is inevitable because the cat with no mouth (let the irony sparkle like a diamond) certainly has a lot to say when it comes to diamonds. It doesn’t help when her view of the important things in life can be summed up by her own quote, “Think happy thoughts…and boys will bring you diamonds!”
If your significant other ever mentions that she is hoping for jewelry with hello Kitty and diamonds, that is a sure sign that it’s time to run as fast and as far away as possible. If she takes the initiative and buys her own Hello Kitty diamond jewelry, take one for the team and sell it. Yes, you will likely be spending days, if not weeks or months, on the living room couch in a Hello Kitty sleeping bag, but in the end you’ll have the undying admiration of all others suffering from a fanatic in their lives, and score a rare win for all those who live in Hello Kitty Hell.
3 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Birthday Gift Diamonds”
Think happy thoughts and boys will buy you diamonds!? It’s as if feminism never happened. To get it out of my head, I am off to think about important things like fluffy Hello Kitties now.
Cheap, sucky and crappy.
That’s just put feminism back 4000 years.