It’s bad enough when stuff gets Hello Kittified, but it takes on a whole new level of Hello Kitty scariness when the evil feline decides to try to add sexiness into the equation as well. There is no other way to explain the concept of this Hello Kitty mineral water:
Hello Kitty Hell just got a whole lot worse…There was a time when I said that the only two things that that had yet to be Hello Kittified were pizza and beer. Of course, the Hello Kitty pizza showed up in my mailbox pretty quickly after that, but the Hello Kitty beer had remained more elusive until now:
When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, you soon learn that there are way too many people that actually want to be Hello Kitty, so I guess that it really shouldn’t be a surprise that people would do something like take their hair and make it into a Hello Kitty bow:
It’s been awhile since our last Hello Kitty tattoo (although there have been far to many sent my way – if you have any doubt that Hello Kitty fanatics take things just a bit too far, all you need to do is see all the Hello Kitty tattoos out there), and even though there can be no such things as a “good” Hello Kitty tattoo, at least I can show one that brings out the true spirit of the evil feline — a bloody knife wielding Hello Kitty tattoo:
Any normal person would assume that MAC coming out with a full Hello Kitty line of cosmetics would be as bad as something could get — until they viewed the MAC Hello Kitty video whereupon they would reflect on their naivety and concede that it had just gotten worse (but assume that it had now gotten as bad as it could). Of course, this greatly underestimates the lengths that the evil feline will go to make sure that all normal people are always wrong with their assumption that it can’t get worse. A perfect point to illustrate: The Hello Kitty MAC male Hello Kitty model
As many of you have noticed, I have not posted in awhile. This was not due to there being a lack of the evil feline goods making their way into my life to increase the Hello Kitty Hell I live in or which to rant about, but because of a bet I made with my wife. She once again (at the unfortunate urging of Hello Kitty fanatics that believe this blog is disrespectful to both my wife and Hello Kitty) decided that this blog should be terminated. Somehow the Hello Kitty fanatics have now decided that the real problem is that I am addicted to and obsessed with Hello Kitty since that is the only way that I could write a blog about Hello Kitty (even if it happens to be negative).
There can be no bigger Hello Kitty Hell than actually trying to reason with a Hello Kitty fanatic since they are inherently void of this capability. Unable to convince my wife that I was not “negatively obsessed” with Hello Kitty, I asked her what I could do to prove that I wasn’t. She said that if I could go a month without doing any work on this blog that she would believe me and that she would no longer bother me about closing the blog down. If, however, I couldn’t last a month without working on the blog, I would have to tell any Hello Kitty fan where to get the items on this blog that they wanted and to turn over the blog to her and her Hello Kitty fanatic friends to do with as they wished.
The deal was struck and everything was going fine until many of the regular readers started to complain that I wasn’t updating this blog (since obviously they would have no idea of the bet and why there were a lack of updates). A few days ago the comments lead me to check the admin area of the blog and find that there were several hundred comments that were waiting in line to be moderated. I began going through these and accepting those that were real and deleting the spam.
One of the comments happened to be on the FAQ area asking a question and without even thinking about it, not only did I accept the comment, I also answered it in the main FAQ post. It didn’t take long for my wife and her Hello Kitty fanatic friends to notice that “I had worked on the site.” I protested saying that the spirit of the bet was that I would not put up new blog posts while my wife insisted that by answering the question, I had been working on the blog. After a lot of discussion and several nights spent on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag, we were able to come to an agreement:
I would be allowed to continue to write this blog, but I would have to tell Hello Kitty fanatics where they could get any item they wanted that have been listed on this blog — something that I have been steadfastly against up until this point. Since I already know there is going to be a huge demand to know where to get the Hello Kitty Converse sneakers which Hello Kitty fanatics are always whining about, you can find out all the information you need to know here. For any other items, you can leave a question in the comments and I will answer them there.
While it totally sucks that I have to do this, I felt it was the only option that would allow me to keep blogging without constant fighting (and me ever getting off of the couch and out of the Hello Kitty sleeping bag). So Hello Kitty fanatics, you may think you have won a small prize of being able to know where you can find Hello Kitty products courtesy of my wife, but I still plan to win the war…