I received the following email from a reader named Shane the other day:
Just wanted to give you some insite before it was to late and you are damned to eternity within hello kitty hell. I would suggest you go and pick out your casket and head stone now plus set in your will that these are the things you want to be your last will and testament. The chances that there are Hello Kitty tombstones and caskets are likely. So that you won’t have to spend the only time you will have without Hello Kitty staring at the monogrammed liner of a Hello Kitty casket and sleeping on your plush Hello Kitty pillow.
At first I chuckled to myself and that this was extreme even by Hello Kitty Hell standards, but as the day wore on, I couldn’t shake what he said and I started to get nervous. What if there really were Hello Kitty tombstones and caskets?
To my utter dismay it didn’t take me long to find a Hello Kitty Tombstone and having lived in Japan, I can confirm that it truly is a real gravestone:
Photo courtesy of Greg from Greg.org
While I wasn’t able to unearth any photos of Hello Kitty coffins, it isn’t unreasonable to agree with Shane that they probably do exist if the tombstones exist.
This realization that once I leave this world, I still may not be free from my Hello Kitty Hell (just think about it – being buried in a Hello Kitty casket with Hello Kitty guarding your grave – this is the scariest story I’ve heard the entire Halloween season!) has thrown the entire Hello Kitty Hell purgatory to a whole new dimension. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
I would like to thank Shane for looking out for me and thinking about the future. It goes to show that Hello Kitty fanantics can’t be trusted to leave any item untouched…
post script: just as I was about to post this:
wife walks in: what’s that?
me: Nothing (trying to get the Hello Kitty tombstone off the computer screen)
wife: Oh, what a great idea! It’s sooooo cute. I want one of those. Then we can also order a Dear Daniel one too and we can be with them for eternity…
Hello Kitty Hell for eternity…I think it’s time I go and change my will…