If there was ever a doubt (which there certainly shouldn’t exist at this point) that the evil feline was willing to do absolutely anything to earn a buck (do we really need to revisit the whole Hello Kitty vibrator incident?), we now have an additional piece of evidence: The Hello Kitty Chia Pet — seriously, you can’t make this crap up…
One of the most disturbing aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that it becomes painfully obvious that the people at Sanrio truly believe that if they simply put a bow on anything, this makes that thing cute. That, and the overwhelming fact that they simply can’t leave bad ideas alone, but feel it necessary to double down on them. By doing so, they make what any rational person would believe were the worst possible creations somehow even more disturbing.
So it really should not come as a surprise that at a recent Hello Kitty exhibit that a Hello Kitty toilet would be featured. Of course, the evil feline couldn’t simply leave it at that. Instead, she decided that since there seemed to be so much interest in Hello kitty poo (including in toothpaste form) that it would be cute to leave some with a bow on it in the Hello Kitty toilet (seriously, you can’t make these things up)
Most of us love our mothers and enjoy showing them true appreciation on Mother’s day each year. Not the people at Sanrio. With Mother’s Day just around the corner, the evil feline has decided that she would like to guarantee that it’s the worst possible day ever for all mothers by encouraging gifts of Hello Kitty plants and flowers.
There are plenty of hints that you are headed for a life of Hello Kitty Hell from which there will be absolutely no escape. At the top of the list is if you’re ever asked to wear these or these. That is quickly followed by basically anything that is evil feline related which also has to do with the bedroom. Your girlfriend suggesting that a custom-made Hello Kitty headboard would be a good idea is a perfect example:
As if there was really a need to have one more reason to want this season to end as quickly as possible (see Hello Kitty Christmas trees and Hello Kitty ornaments if you had any doubts), this should quickly put the question to rest: a Hello Kitty Christmas music video that is guaranteed to haunt you long after the new year begins (you have been warned)
What is worse than a Hello Kitty car? A Hello Kitty car where you are more horrifically distressed inside it than those are on the outside looking at the paint job (and believe me, the people on the outside are trembling with fear). This is why you never let a Hello Kitty fanatic decorate the interior of a car:
I knew that once the Hello Kitty Christmas tree showed up in my email before December even began that things weren’t going to go well this holiday season. This feeling was confirmed when someone, for some unfathomable reason, thought it would be a good idea to send me a photo of Hello Kitty Christmas ornaments:
It is already well established that Hello Kitty wants us to all eventually live in a Hello Kitty house, and she is (unfortunately) making sure that the house has absolutely every accessory that one could imagine — a Hello Kitty home bar, Hello Kitty wall displays and far too many Hello Kitty appliances to mention. Add to these the Hello Kitty chandelier: