There are few things that surprise me in Hello Kitty Hell these days, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t come across things on a daily basis that make me ask myself, “for the love of all that is supposed to be good in the word…why???” The Hello Kitty dodgeball team definitely falls into that category:
The simple fact that anyone could even conceive of this club, let alone that it actually exists, scares the Hello Kitty Hell out of me. There really isn’t any more that needs to be said about the Hello Kitty Athletic Club:
One of the things that I fear most about posting Hello Kitty crap is that it will lead to more Hello Kitty crap in my email. A perfect example is when I posted the Hello Kitty shooting target on Facebook. Christine then offhandedly asked the question, “For those who don’t have access to guns, how about a Hello Kitty dartboard?” Guess what ended up in my mailbox a few days later? Was there any doubt that it was a Hello Kitty dartboard?
One would assume that there were certain sports that would be free of the evil feline such as fishing. of course, this would be greatly underestimating Hello Kitty’s desire to place her face on absolutely everything. No longer can a fisherman request fishing gear as a birthday gift without the risk of something like this being given to them: The Hello Kitty fishing reel.
Once again proving that there is nothing that the evil feline isn’t willing to try and buy her way into, this is undoubtedly what Sanrio would like the Olympic rings for Sochi and beyond to look like:
One would imagine that there would be certain sports where Hello Kitty, no matter how hard she tried, would never be accepted. Of course, that would once again greatly underestimating the evil feline and her quest to put her face absolutely every where. For those of you who still doubt, here is the Hello Kitty extreme cage fighter:
The evil feline knows how to make a generation of real skateboarders want to purposely road rash themselves to death. When Hello Kitty gets the endorsement of Hilary Duff for skateboarding, skateboarders can roll their eyes knowing that their sport is safe and has nothing to worry about. When Mike Carroll creates Hello Kitty skateboard decks for Girl, you know that Hello Kitty has no mercy when recruiting members to the dark side…
Sent in by danny.
I guess when you play competitive games, you have to sometimes sacrifice your dignity in order to win. That can be the only explanation for the Hello Kitty paintball gun. There is no doubt that upon seeing it, any opponent will be instantaneously frozen with both fear and disgust leaving him/her to be a sitting duck just waiting to be picked off. The irony, of course, is that the loser will go home having lost happily, knowing that he doesn’t have to live life with a Hello Kitty paintball gun. The victor, on the other hand, will carry the shame of owning that monstrosity which pretty much ensures lifetime psychological damage for the rest of his life. Even when you think you win with the evil feline, you lose…
sent in by freewin (via Charkrem)
My wife loves to head to the mountains in winter because she has this horrendous Hello Kitty snowboard set-up (she doesn’t actually snowboard much, but she sure does enjoy sitting at the bar in her Hello Kitty outfit), but she has never really wanted to ski. Of course, that was until the evil feline introduced these Hello Kitty skis by Victoria Couture: