One mans hell with cute overload
You probably believe that when the end of the world arrives, things are going to get bad. What you don’t realise is just how bad that may be. I have no doubt this is exactly what you will see staring at you — and you will instantly know that there is no hope.
One would assume that Hello Kitty had covered all the water options ( the Hello Kitty water dispenser — Hello Kitty regular bottled water — Hello Kitty premium bottled water — Hello Kitty body shaped mineral water — Hello Kitty skin water), but that would be greatly underestimating her ability to find new markets. Apparently, she felt that she was missing the luxury water market:
Proof positive that a meme has gone way to far is when the evil feline thinks it’s a good idea to be part of it:
There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers, Hello Kitty pasties, Hello Kitty handcuff nightmares and the Hello Kitty love hotel all exist, it shouldn’t be a shock that a Hello Kitty bandage sofa exists:
This came in my email today:
Hi
My fiance is obsessed with hello kitty and subsequently I’ve been reading your site for a while. First it started as some hello kitty pocky, then cuddly toys and has progressed to so called “designer” clothing and jewelry. But now it has reach an all new level of depravity, as I have mentioned she is my fiance and i love her dearly however when planning the wedding she has let slip that she plans to have hello kitty centerpieces and cake, as well as telling me that once the wedding has been paid for she will be buying some of the “super cute” home appliance’s and furniture.
I understand that there is no hope for you but perhaps you can save the rest of us from your fate! Is there a way to stop the spiral in to hello kitty hell?
All the best
Tom
Included with the email were the following photos of his fiance’s wedding folder:
One would assume that having the evil feline cut out fruit in the shape of her face and marketing fruit under her own brand (and we aren’t going to even touch the Hello Kitty banana cover) would be enough to satisfy her fruitful dominance cravings, but that, of course, would be highly underestimating what Hello Kitty has in store. She actually wants her face branded into all fruits (hey, if it is good enough for people…) with the Hello Kitty melon as the launching off point:
