Hello Kitty Air Cleaner / Purifier

One of the biggest hazards living in Hello Kitty Hell is that even casual conversation can lead to Hello Kitty Hell escalation. I should have learned by now that I need to watch what I say. I made the innocent comment the other day that in winter time the house seems to get more stuffy since we don’t open the windows as often. Of course, I should have known that to a Hello Kitty fanatic, that was an invitation to go out and purchase…a Hello Kitty air purifier:

Hello Kitty air purifier / cleaner

Silence is a golden rule in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty USB Computer Keyboard Cleaner

As my wife continues to find gadgets that she “must have” for her computer, even from Hello Kitty Hell I’m amazed at all the Hello Kitty crap that gets sold. Granted, computer keyboards need to be cleaned from time to time, but would anyone in their right mind (I think we have already established that Hello Kitty fanatics fall outside these parameters) really need a Hello Kitty USB computer keyboard cleaner with two different cleaning heads? But since my wife is one of those that falls outside saneness when it comes to Hello Kitty, this is what she wants next for her computer.

Hello Kitty usb computer keyboard cleaner

Hello Kitty usb computer cleaner

Hello Kitty Car Lights

The Hello Kittification of our car continues at far too fast a pace. It would not surprise me in the least bit if a car could be built from scratch using only Hello Kitty parts or that somewhere, someone is selling a Hello Kitty modified engine.

While I had first assumed that the automotive area of the store would provide me some escape from my Hello Kitty Hell, it has been proved time and again to be the exact opposite. In fact now when we go to the store, I do my best to keep my wife away from the automotive section because if she manages to get there, it will mean a new Hello Kitty addition to our car. Which is exactly what happened this morning when my wife discovered the Hello Kitty car lights:

Hello Kitty car lights

Hello Kitty car lights

Yes, these are actually to replace your parking lights with a Hello Kitty glow in one of 4 colors. The only saving grace for my Hello Kitty Hell is that the size is wrong for our car. It’s probably a short lived victory, however. With the enthusiasm my wife had when finding them, it can only be a matter of time before they expand the line-up to include our car as well…

Update: An unfortunate instance of one of these actually being used:

Sent in by anonymous

Hello Kitty Kendama

If you are a little girl, you absolutely love coming to our place to visit. I would imagine that it is like a dreamworld for a little girl, although I have reservations about my wife brainwashing these kids at such an early age. When a little girl comes to visit, she usually leaves with a huge smile on her face and a couple of Hello Kitty toys under her arms (that is the one redeeming factor — some of the Hello Kitty stuff leaves since my wife can’t deny when a little girl asks for something Hello Kitty — on the other hand, I pity the poor father because he doesn’t realize my wife’s evil plan is to recruit another Hello Kitty fanatic).

If you happen to be a boy, however, I would think this place would be a nightmare to visit. While it would be unfathomable for most of us to believe that boys wouldn’t be interested in Hello Kitty items, the Hello Kitty fanatic can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t like Hello Kitty. She tries in vain to convince me that boys would really like Hello Kitty if they would simply look at her heart. Then she tries to show me toys like the Hello Kitty kendama which “any boy should like”:

Hello Kitty Kendama

Hello Kitty Kendama

While the kendama is a great Japanese toy that most boys would love, a Hello Kitty kendama is just downright wrong. I think Hello Kitty employees sit in the back rooms and think up ways to place Hello Kitty on things that make men shake their heads in disbelief because they know that every Hello Kitty fanatic would absolutely need to have it.

Suffice to say, all our friends with little girls come to visit on a regular basis while those with boys tend to want to meet us at some point away from our house after the first visit…

Hello Kitty CDs

One of the things that is most frustrating about Hello Kitty Hell is that many of the Hello Kitty items in our house aren’t really Hello Kitty Items at all. They are normal, every day items in Hello Kitty packaging. No matter how many times I try to explain this to my wife, it doesn’t make any sense to her. Hello Kitty on the package means that whatever is inside is also Hello Kitty related in some way (thusly the mind works of the Hello Kitty fanatics the around the world).

Take these for example:

Hello Kitty CDs

They are CDs wrapped in Hello Kitty packaging, but they are the only ones my wife will buy. It doesn’t matter that the CD looks like any other CD once the packaging comes off. Since practically every item that exists comes in Hello Kitty packaging, you can begin to see the Hello Kitty Hell I must deal with on a daily basis