No Fire In Hello Kitty Hell

I read over on engadget about a recall of a Hello Kitty that can spontaneously combust:

Exploding Hello Kitty

Apparently the chemicals inside the plastic piece aren’t too stable and sometimes leak. This can make the toy start to flame. Of course, upon hearing this, I mentioned to my wife that Hello Kitty can be dangerous. Her answer? She brought out these:

Hello Kitty Fire Extinguisher

wife: “Hello Kitty will always be here to protect us”

I realize all of you reading here are still trying to get a grasp of how bad my Hello Kitty Hell is, but we have Hello Kitty fire extinguishers. I sit here thinking it can’t get much worse than that, but the sad thing is that I know when tomorrow comes, somehow it will…

Never Ask A Hello Kitty Lover To Shop For You

I learned long ago that you should never ask someone that loves Hello Kitty to shop for you. While it would be obvious to the average person that getting Hello Kitty merchandise for a guy is not appropriate, Hello Kitty fanatics have a short circuit in their brain that negates this common sense. I’ve received more than my fair share of gifts that had been tagged with Hello Kitty on them and therefore do almost 100% of my own shopping these days.

The problem comes when a birthday or other gift giving event approaches. Since I can’t choose my own gift, I have learned to ask for things that can’t be found with Hello Kitty on them. It was with this in mind that I asked my wife for a USB flash memory disk for my computer for my birthday.

Now any normal person would assume a request for something like this would be Hello Kitty safe. Never underestimate the ever expanding presence of Hello Kitty to increase my hell. This is what I received:

Hello Kitty USB Flash Memory Stick

Yes, your eyes aren’t deceiving you. That is, in fact, a Hello Kitty USB Flash memory stick. Not only that, it is a limited edition Hello Kitty Flash memory stick that apparently is in great demand. I had to listen to my wife tell me how difficult it was for her to obtain it and smile in appreciation the entire time. 

Apparently there were only 5000 thousand of these made exclusively in Japan and they came in a special box:

Hello Kitty USB Flash Memory Stick Box

The box includes a 2006 Hello Kitty diary, a small Hello Kitty pouch and three Hello Kitty ink stamps (oh, yes, just what I need…):

Hello Kitty USB Flash Memory Stick Box Bonus

What these have to do with a computer memory stick is beyond me, but obviously those that make Hello Kitty items know that Hello Kitty fanatics will buy anything that has Hello Kitty on it whether they need it or not, so why not throw random things together? So my computer, which I have so diligently protected from Hello Kitty Hell, now has a Hello Kitty memory stick invading its USB port and likely will for the foreseeable future. It’s either that or spend another week on the couch in a Hello Kitty sleeping bag for not appreciating all the effort she went through to get me the gift…