Hello Kitty Easter Egg Massacre

It’s not often that I’m torn when it comes to anything Hello Kitty. The fact that Hello Kitty Easter eggs exist pretty much proves that Hello Kitty Hell has already invaded every possible holiday rendering them all times of torture. So it would be nothing out of the ordinary for me to react to Hello Kitty Easter eggs with the typical disgust I do with most things by the evil feline. But there is something that made me smile as it tickled my sense of justice when Hello Kitty Easter eggs were forced to witness the massacre of other Hello Kitty Easter eggs:

A photo set in which we created Hello Kitty Easter eggs, then ate them and made the remaining eggs stare at the resulting colorful carnage. I thought you might find it amusing, at the very least.

Hello Kitty Easter egg massacre

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Hello Kitty Christmas Tree

You would think that there would be a law against this, especially during the holidays. I mean, seriously, how could anyone really view this as a good idea? (then again, I guess you could make that argument with virtually any Hello Kitty product…)

Hello Kitty Christmas Tree

There is nothing that says Christmas spirit like a tree covered in Pepto Bismol with the evil feline on top. Of course, my wife wants one, but thinks that the ornaments should be Hello Kitty too (see, it can get worse than this photo) If we end up getting one, I’ll have to down as much Pepto Bismol as is covering the tree to keep from getting sick — yeah, I know, it still won’t work, but I have to deceive myself that there is a possibility of hope while living in Hello Kitty Hell during the holidays…

Sent in by kris (via lilitu93) who really should have to dress up like the tree for the remainder of winter for even having the thought that sending this to me would ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Macy's Thanksgiving Parade Float

I’m still getting things from Halloween when news like this is sent to me (it is very Hello Kitty like to make one holiday blend into the next so there is never a time when a holiday isn’t being celebrated by her):

Hello Kitty Macys Parade Float

Apparently Hello Kitty has been added to this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving parade. This is something right out of one of a horror movie – could there really be anything scarier than a giant Hello Kitty hoovering over you? Guess who is going to be having Hello Kitty Hell nightmares tonight

Sent in by Mike who should have to spend the entire parade underneath Hello Kitty for letting my wife know about this which has her now hounding me with the idea that we should go to see this…

Hello Kitty Halloween Pumpkin

One of the worst aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that all holidays are completely ruined. It is impossible to enjoy any holiday because it gets Hello Kittified. And just to make sure that everyone not only buys Hello Kitty goods on that particular holiday, Sanrio provides directions on how you can Hello Kittify it yourself with such things as how to make a Hello Kitty pumpkin (note that a pumpkin with Hello Kitty on the front is not a “jack ‘o lantern,” but a “Kitty-o-lantern!”):

Hello Kitty Halloween Pumpkin

My wife took one look at this and sent me to the store to get not one, but several pumpkins in different sizes so she could practice making the perfect Hello Kitty ‘o lanterns. Mind you, Halloween is not celebrated in Japan so this has absolutely no meaning out here (yeah, I know that none of it has any meaning, but this just seems to have less meaning than most – decorating for a holiday that isn’t celebrated)

So now we have 4 Hello Kitty pumpkins sitting on the front step of our house and I can’t even kick the damn things in and blame it on the teenage boys down the street…

Sent in by Tyra who should be forced to eat pumpkin, and only pumpkin, for the rest of her life for thinking that it would be a good idea sharing this with my wife…