Hello Kitty Fanatics

This blog was initially set up for me to vent and to warn others of Hello Kitty Hell. It never crossed my mind when I started that Hello Kitty fanatics would start to come here. Why would they when all I do is talk about what a horrifying character Hello Kitty is time and again, but I underestimated the draw Hello Kitty has for fanatics. Even when someone is pointing out their absurd fanaticism, they can’t stand the thought of missing out on something Hello Kitty, so they come in droves. But it was with this latest email that I realised how evil Hello Kitty fanatics truly are – they are now using this blog to subtly introduce their significant others to what type of Hello Kitty Hell life they can expect with the significant other not even realising it:

It is frightening to me (and sadistic) that my girlfriend would have directed me to this site. I got off of work today, and she called just as I was grabbing in to some left over pizza.

Her: Are you at your computer?
Me: No, not right now. Eating.
Her: Well, I want you to look at this site!
Me: Alright. What’s the address?
Her: Do you have your browser open?
Me: Yup. (hoping it’s not more online shopping)
Her: Okay. “HelloKitty–”
Me: (sighing, hearing that phrase)
Her: Hell. ‘dot’com.
Me: Huh. (Shocked that those three words were in sequence from her voice)

And so I delved into your blog. I read a few highlights from your entries that I thought were clever aloud to her and she laughed, like it was some sort of cute joke. However, within this, a brimming paranoia began to brew in me. Without thinking, “Nuh-uh, this isn’t how things are going to be.” (A hello kitty sleeping bag?!) Somehow we progressed to talking about our days and things that have been going on, but it is too late. I already have major concerns developing.

We’re a young couple–I’m 20 and she’s a bit younger, and in the next few months she’s moving into my two bed room apartment, which at this time is delightfully not-pink. We’ve been together for a few years now, and will be engaged soon, but over the past few weeks certain conversation topics have given me some reason to worry.

It started out mild in addiction. She’s always like Hello Kitty, the plushies, the little pins and such. Since it is irrelevant, I won’t elaborate on her addiction to pink electronics or San-X Nyan Nyan Nyanko (frightening food-cats which I’m sure you’ve been punished with having to know they exist) which until this point were the major torture-points which I was forced to appease.

Then one day we went into Build-A-Bear and she made the 17-inch stuffed Hello Kitty. She is attached to this thing. She sleeps with it, and consequently so do I. However, ever since this…thing has come into our lives, her obsession has done nothing but steepen. We had to buy all the bows for this doll, the dresses, the accessories…and I was okay with it. It was ‘cute’. At the time.

Recently she’s been doing a lot of online shopping and (oh god) eBaying. So, I got conned into buying her a matching purse and wallet, with the dreaded cat head on it. This progressed to a Coach Hello Kitty key chain, a hello kitty head contact lens kit, and a pink hello kitty head mirror compact. This is not including the cosmetic bag and the ten bracelets and necklaces with Hello Kitty’s head on it. I’m thoroughly convinced that 17-inch stuffed Kitty brainwashed her into this addiction.

Now, back to the real issue…she’s moving in. While we’re sharing a bed room, she wants a room for her Hello Kitty things, and has said it could be our office and I could have my video game stuff in there. She proposed this to me with the incentive that this heavy flow of Hello Kitty merchandise wouldn’t attack the rest of my apartment.

That was until she saw the Hello Kitty appliances. Well, I love my girlfriend. I think she’s amazing and we have a strong relationship and we’re very close. Over the years she has gotten smart, and with this intelligence has learned an apt amount of ways of tricking me.

Her: When I move in I’ll make you breakfast!
Me: Aw. How sweet. (that would be nice)
Her: You like waffles right?
Me:(slowly catching on) Yes…
Her: Wouldn’t it be nice to have me make you waffles before work?
Me: (I was right.) …Yes.
Her: Remember that Hello Kitty waffle maker?
Me: Can I have special waffles that aren’t in the shape of Hello Kitty’s head?
Her: Aw, why! It’d be so cute! Maybe they make KT butter too…

Ugh. I can just imagine the daily trauma I would have to endure every time someone asked what I had for breakfast, or when someone ever said “waffle.”

She is also especially adamant that she has all of her things mailed to the LA Sanrio Momoberry store to have all of her things custom embellished with Swavorski crystals with Hello Kitty heads all over it. It is getting worse.

What do I do? I know my bathroom won’t look like yours because she doesn’t like excess and clutter, and I know she won’t buy Hello Kitty things she doesn’t really like or thinks she could use (at this point). However, I don’t want my apartment being taken over with an obscene amount of pink, flowery, heart clad, cat-head shaped merchandise.

I guess the question is what CAN I do? She wants the ring bearer in our wedding to be a small child in a hello kitty suit. She has told me that Hello Kitty will have to be the topping on our Wedding Cake. That was her compromise after I talked her out of having a complete Hello Kitty Wedding and Reception. However, another part of her mastermind scheme is that we will have to go to Puroland. If you don’t know what that is: Good. It’s a Hello Kitty Sanrio Themepark in Tokyo. She also wants to visit Harmony Land.

Now, we’ll be moving to Japan in the next few years for business…so I can’t even IMAGINE what our place will look like then. I guess I just want to know…Is it too late?

He’s a goner…might as well set up an account for him to start writing a Hello Kitty Hell column right now…

27 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Fanatics”

  1. So cute! I love Hello Kitty! It’s so sweet that you pretend to hate her. I bet you secretly love her. How could you not, when she has such a sweet little face? Meow meow!

  2. Hey, I like hello kitty like the next girl, but some of these things are really ridiculous. i just like looking at these ridiculous things you find because sometimes i scratch my head and think, “why would they make that?”

    it’s crazy how far a company will go to try and take over the world. i mean, it’s ok to have a small collection, but anymore than that is really insane.

    i honestly sympathize with you.

    [maybe you should just smash the doll anyway, you know, for stress relief. LOL…]

  3. the bit about the ring bearer wearing a HK suit scared me
    but the cake topper *siiiiiiiigh* brings back such memories
    i had Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel as my cake topper about 4 years ago .. not that i’m married to the bastard any more … at least the cake was FANTASTIC

  4. Oh my god, that is sooo cool. My boyfriend wouldn’t let me buy that much Hello Kitty stuff. He must be such a nice boyfriend:)

  5. The key phrase here is “at this point”. I feel sorry for him. He’s in Hello Kitty Denial. The fact that he had to “compromise” about the amount of Hello Kitty Hell he’d have to live thru on his wedding day and the fact that he is sleeping with a woman who also sleeps with her Hello Kitty teddy bear should serve as a huge red flag ( with Crystal Hello Kitty on it, of course ).

  6. OMG!!!!! Run away as fast as you can.

    I recently moved in with my bf. I like Hello Kitty okay, but I would never EVER insist on him buying me things like that. I think he likes Hello Kitty stuff better then I do cuz he always say, “Hey you want this? It would look really cute on you!” um… no thanks. But I still end up with couple of HK gifts in my closet.

    Girls like that are sooooo wrong!!!

  7. Man. That’s extremely disgusting. Of course there’s collective/harmless hobbies, then there’s Hello Kitty. Seriously feel bad for you guys that endure all that :/

    Yeah, go smash that kitty. X)

  8. Makes Hello Kitty fanatics like me feel a bit awkward. I’ve been given the title of the UK Hello Kitty Queen due to my mass collection and obsession with Kitty White. At last count I had 190 Hello Kitty products and I’ve got products on order from around the world.

    I live in a little fishing village in Scotland but everyone can clearly see my obsession with the Sanrio cat. I never leave the house without at least 6 necklaces, my hoody (with bow on the hood), my Hello Kitty shoes and hell, I’ve even got Hello Kitty jeans with her face sewn onto each back pocket. I’m obsessed and I’m only 16.

    On my last day of school my class mates threw a Hello Kitty themed party in the class where everyone bought me something relating to Hello Kitty or Sanrio. We had banners, cake, everything, it was great.

    And yes, I want a Hello Kitty wedding too. Hello Kitty engagement rings, everything : ) I love it.

  9. Personally I think you wrote this email. You are just trying to convince significant others of Hello Kitty lovers that she is evil when she makes the world a happy place.

  10. What’s wrong with Hello Kitty waffle maker?

    I do believe there are million, zillion men out there want to have home made waffles made by his girlfriend or his wife (even HK on them).
    Happiness is a relative thing way more than you may think.

  11. Hi,

    My girlfriend loves hello kitty too. She always wants me to buy more and more of these stuff. Like all of those suffering from the kitty madness, she also wants us to have a hello kitty wedding, engagement ring, cake, suit, dress, mascots, food, spoon, fork and EVERYTHING that you can think of! Well, I don’t stop her from her passion for hello kitty, I even buy her a hello kitty stuff whenever I get a chance to buy her one. It makes her happy and I always want her to be happy.

  12. God in fricken hell i feel sorry for the guy. I mean okey, i love me some HK but the appliances probably don’t work for shit! And eating HK faces every morning would undoubtedly make me ill. If he does feel sick, i say throw the HK mess up on her. If she’s THAT in to HK, she’ll love it.

    But yeah, he’s defiantly a gonner :(. His girlfriend should be a little more considerate… well, i guess she will be once he pukes up some HK.

  13. Abort! Abort! Return to the space shuttle!

    Seriously, a calm, accomodating 20-year-old guy will have no trouble finding another girlfriend. One who, if not free of obsessions, will at least have an obsession he can share. Fly fishing, for instance. Otherwise, he’s always going to be second fiddle to a cartoon cat. I admire our narrator for his loyalty to his wife, but 20 is too young to be sacrificing your life to Hello Kitty.

    And don’t worry about the girl. She will go on Craig’s List and meet a furry who will want nothing more than to surround her with Hello Kitty toys and take her down to funkytown when she’s dressed in her very own plush Hello Kitty costume.

  14. I’m sorry to say that but, man, you need another girlfriend. I like Hello Kitty, but I can’t eat wafles with her face. Or to sleerp with a plushie (and I have one, but ONLY one).

  15. well, only hillbillies get married that young anyway so of course the bride-to-be is weird…

    i wonder if they’ll have a hello kitty themed divorce?

  16. That even scares me and I’m pretty into hello kitty. It’s pretty hard to find that many hello kitty items where I live, and I don’t like Ebay. My boyfriend of 2 and a half years hates-absolutely hates- my hello kitty fixation.
    Now even I wouldn’t be that bad. I like that bathtub that was posted recently, but mainly because I want a large bathtub. Some of the things on here are just ridiculous.

  17. Okay, I’ll defend her. How is my girlfriend “absurd and awkward” to someone who have over 150 Hello Kitty items? She has less than 20…

    And we won’t be married for some long time. But I’m glad all of you jumped off of the deep end in fear for me, even all of you women who proclaim “fanaticism” and have had Hello Kitty themed parties?

    A bit of “absurdity” for all of you. Especially considering the e-mail was written in good humor. Well. This is the internet for you. I should have told you she makes me ingest Hello Kitty waffles filled with poison and gotten the same reaction.

    There are no appliances and no more HK purchases to this date. So I think it was just a momentary binge she went on. (I’m anticipating everyone here to get melodramatic and tell me there’s going to be a “relapse.”)But whatever.


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