Hello Kitty Car License Plate Thingy

I’ve been avoiding writing about our car lately because, basically, it’s slowly becoming a Hello Kitty pimped out nightmare. It has gotten to the point where I don’t even bother locking it anymore because there is absolutely no way anyone in their right mind would ever consider stealing it. Now my wife is adding Hello Kitty themed things that must have been invented for the specific purpose of placing Hello Kitty on them because they don’t even have a name like these Hello Kitty car license plate thingies:

Hello Kitty license plate thingy

Your eyes don’t deceive you. These are Hello Kittified covers for the screws that hold on your license plate. You know that the evil feline has pretty much put her face on everything when Sanrio has to begin making up products just so they have more things to sell. It’s even worse when my wife starts to buy these things because the car has been so Hello Kittified that there is nothing else — another typical day living in Hello Kitty Hell…

The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head

As has been well established, Hello Kitty by herself is frightening, but Hello Kitty fanatics rarely are able to leave this frightfulness alone. They have to test the limits. They do this by projecting that their love of Hello Kitty must also be shared by their pets. So they decide that placing a Hello Kitty face on their cats and dogs would be a good idea.

Now, one would assume that it could never get worse than this (mainly because it’s so nightmarishly frightening that nobody in their right mind would want to even try to take it further), but of course, it can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell. That is because once Hello Kitty fanatics have their cat and the Hello Kitty hood, they then think “Wow, wouldn’t it be great to create something with Hello Kitty like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?” The result? They make a group called “The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head” (although I wish I was, I kid you not…)

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Of course, my wife thinks this is the greatest idea since Hello Kitty toast and wants to join. “Wouldn’t our cats just look adorable in that and then we could share their photos with everyone all over the world” (an informal poll of our cats say that they are siding with me that it would definitely not be “adorable” and have even indicated they will be willing to sleep with me on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag if worst comes to worst).

According to the group leader of “The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head” is off to England and Australia — which begs the question – is there any doubt that it will one day make its way to Japan? And while this entire concept is nightmarishly frightening (the cats and I are still arguing whether it it more nightmarish for me or them), we all know that in Hello Kitty Hell this will somehow find a way to get worse…

Sent in by Valerie (via Hello Kitty Fan Club Catster Group – where there are many more photos for those who have the stomach — scroll to bottom) who should have to wear these Hello Kitty heads herself for the rest of her life to get a feeling of how these cats must feel for even considering that sending me the link was a good idea…

Hello Kitty Marriage Certificate

It’s emails like these that ensure that the entire week is going to be hellish. I do my best never to bring up the subject of Hello Kitty weddings because my wife and I got married before her Hello Kitty obsession blossomed (yes, there are some miracles even in Hello Kitty Hell), and the fact that we didn’t have a Hello Kitty wedding doesn’t sit well. If any mention of weddings are made, the subject that we should retake our vows (this time decked out in Hello Kitty Hell wedding fashion) is the topic she wants to talk about for the next month. So you can imagine how disturbing it was to receive the knowledge that it’s possible to get a Hello Kitty marriage certificate:

Hello Kitty marriage certificate

It gets even work when you realize where the wedding took place and the outfits worn:

Hello Kitty wedding

And just to make my life completely miserable, a video of the entire event was included (view at your own risk – you have been warned…)

When it comes to looking into the depths of Hello Kitty Hell, the Hello Kitty wedding is right down there at the source of the flame. Of all the the painful moments I’ve endured in Hello Kitty Hell, I can still imagine that a Hello Kitty wedding would be more painful which is a very scary thought. Of course, my wife thinks it would be a wonderful idea if we renewed our vows in a Hello Kitty ceremony and will be reminding me of this fact for the foreseeable future ensuring that Hello Kitty Hell remains much too hot even in the middle of winter…

Sent in by Achim (via his site Hello Kitty Museum). While I should propose some unthinkable cruel curse upon him for even thinking that it would be a good idea to send me these photos, it frightens me to think that there might not be anything worse than what he has already gone through…