Nipple Tassels

While there are a lot of things in life that defy logic, there seems to be a disproportionate number of things Hello Kitty that can make this claim. That’s definitely the truth when it comes to Hello Kitty nipple tassels:

Hello Kitty nipple tassels

Hello Kitty heart nipple tassels

Hello Kitty cowboy nipple tassels

It’s bad enough that someone would make homemade pasties (and even worse, wear them out clubbing for all to see), but the fact that there is a market for Hello Kitty nipple tassels (and multiple versions of them to boot) basically confirms the fact that Hello Kitty has neared her goal of complete world domination. If I ever have to see these in use in real life, feel free to pick any one of the many Hello Kitty guns and put me out of my misery…

Sent in by Becci (via The Cheesecake Burlesque Shop) who deserves unthinkable torture for thinking it could ever be a good idea to let me know that something like this exists…

Update: The number of Hello Kitty pasties is more than a little disturbing. I’m just thankful that this photo wasn’t sent to me in actual use since we already know that is terrifying:

Hello Kitty pasties

Sent in by Faustina

hello kitty pasties

Left by Rachel in the comments (via etsy)

Hello Kitty cherry bow pasties

Sent in by Aubrey

41 thoughts on “Nipple Tassels”

  1. your wife can’t POSSIBLY think that these things are “cute” and that their sole purpose is to “help women look and feel their best”??

  2. Whenever I think of Hello Kitty, I always think of pre-pubescent girls. (not in any sexual way!!!!) And nipple tassel don’t go that well, and shouldn’t, with 12 year old girls. it’s creepy. O.o

  3. I’m guessing this was to horrifying for our blogger to even comment..

    ~Ride em kitty cowgirl, wooohooo!
    That needs a HK cowboy hat for sure.

    Oh, and I’m kinda weirded out the tassles hang from her nose on those…

    The first two are cute though 🙂

  4. the only time that you need to wear pasties with tassels on them in public is NEVER. you also wont need to wear clothing over them because they WOULD SHOW THRU THE FABRIC. and most of the guys i know think hello kitty is a total turn-off so im not really sure of the purpose of these….but i am very intrigued as to what darlene will say about these……

  5. Where the hell would one even wear these? Like what sorta occasion calls for nipple tassels; specifically Hello Kitty ones. :/

  6. Funny. Finally something i thought you might like. I mean since your wife buys and uses all Hello Kitty merch, it seems logical to me that you would win the argument of making her buy and “use” these. For your benefit of course, not in public, as pasties should never be worn in public unless you are a gorgeous black female recording artist.

  7. You have no concept of what is important to women. If a woman wants to feel sexy, she wants to include Hello Kitty in that feeling because then not only is she sexy, but also cute and adorable at the same time. Hello Kitty helps women express their sexiness which is something you fail to comprehend.

    Most men would love to see their girlfriend wearing these for them. You’re the only one that seems to have a problem with women expressing their feminine side probably because you are so intimidated by it. Maybe if you grew up a little, you would appreciate women for who they really are instead of spouting all your ignorant opinions that nobody wants to read.

  8. … darlene… if he gre-omg.
    that’s a lot for YOU to say.
    hello kitty does NOT help women feel sexy
    i’d feel stupid if i wore those for my boyfriend and i also think that he would not enjoy it
    at all.
    it’s hello kitty dammit.

  9. oh my dear sweet lord NO!!!! as a former stripper this is just wrong on so very very many levels NOT RIGHT NOT RIGHT NOT RIGHT!!!!

  10. A friend sent me here, and now I don’t want to leave such awesomeness. You’re going in my google reader.

    Couldn’t these be given a second use as pulls for window shades?

  11. You have no concept of what is important to women. If a woman wants to feel sexy, she wants to include Hello Kitty in that feeling because then not only is she sexy, but also cute and adorable at the same time. <… DEAR GOD , CAN SOMEONE SHOT HER IN THE HEAD PLEASE?

    whats with that anyway? theres no sense , i mean they even make guns of hello kitty but is not like I WANNA FEEL CUTE WHEN SHOOTING THINGS …. i mean , this is just awful , any woman who had brain ( an actual one ) WOULDNT USE THOSE THINGS!! …. do me an favor an burn those things with hello kitty gasoline ( PINK COLORED! ) or something.

  12. @Hello Kitty Hell

    LOL. Sorry! I didn’t realise so many people had thought/asked the same thing! I hadn’t quite gotten to the FAQ yet, I got a little sidetracked reading older posts!

    Awesome blog by the way!

    I live in Japan too (Osaka). I have seen a lot of HK products at a glance, mostly when walking past those HK stores with the big HK statues (that people like to get their photo taken next to…) but I have to say some of the products they are marketing these days are indeed bizarre…

  13. These are cute! I kind of want them, they’re so wrong in JUST the right way.

    I think everyone should calm down & probably think about the context in which they’re made. It’s a burlesque shop, it’s probably meant for performers who want to throw a little kitsch in their act. It’s not all about sex, sometimes it’s just about a show. Sense of humour, people, recall it.

  14. Okay. As a female, I must say that when I want to feel sexy, I generally do not want to be adorable or cute like a cartoon cat aimed at children.

    Then again, I’m sure pedophiles would find cute adorable prepubescent-girliness sexy. So it totally depends what kind of men you’re after, right, Darlene?

  15. *imagines woman shaking her “possessions” to make the dangly thinghy go round*
    *is overloaded with grotesque images and turns on Texas Chainsaw massacre for relaxation*
    “Hello Kitty helps women express their sexiness which is something you fail to comprehend. ” oh hell no…if you want to feel sexy you put on skimpy black lingerie with strip-tease music in the background not something with a freaking cat smiling back at you
    “Most men would love to see their girlfriend wearing these for them” maybe right before swallowing sulfuric acid..

  16. I’m a teen where mine are probably aren’t big enough to fit those. Even though, I kinda wonder how most woman can fit into those.

  17. I actually ran across these on Etsy the other day when I was looking for burlesque pasties. Hello Kitty was NOT one of my search terms, but she showed up anyway, along with Betty Boop and Care Bears. WTF.

  18. @Scene Queen Mia
    They go over JUST your nipples.
    I have no idea how those wouldn’t fit you if they are small. If your areolas are big, I can see why they wouldn’t fit.
    But otherwise, that makes no sense.

  19. I don’t know what everyone is so upset about. I bought a hello kitty vibrator in New Orleans last weekend just because it was funny and I love hello kitty. If you don’t like the nipple tassels the don’t buy them!! Duh.

  20. haha… i feel bad for all the close-minded women with their boooring sex lives who are so offended & grossed out by these. puh-lease..

  21. Hah you guys need to get over it.
    Some people love Hello Kitty this much. They need no more reason than that to want them.
    If you have nothing nice to say about them dont say anything at all.

    I love Hello Kitty as did my mother, and yeah Hello Kitty things do make me very happy, God forbid something so insignificant make someone so happy. haha


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