Hello Kitty Hell Emails

Some random Hello Kitty emails that ended up in my mailbox…

Dear Mr. HKH,

I recently came across your blog on CakeWrecks. At first I was shaking my head, thinking what a poor dear you are, putting up with all the Hello Kitty crap your obviously brainwashed wife brings into your life. And then, as I read more and more of your blog, I got to thinking: What if I were to Hello Kitty Hell my boyfriend’s life? Bring in a little bit of disgusting cuteness into his apartment every once in awhile, particularly when he’s upset me for some reason or another. Mention Hello Kitty items I might buy at any given opportunity. Show him pictures of cute Hello Kitty things every day, even occasionally off of HelloKittyHell.

Today I bought my first Hello Kitty item…a matching bra and panty set…which has already been modeled. All day today I wandered around our city (Peterborough, Ontario, Canada) and made a list of the Hello Kitty crap currently available for purchase, and making note of where and when I found them.

Did you ever consider that maybe you just upset your wife one time too many, and that your private HelloKittyHell is just retribution? Because I definitely think it’s the best idea I’ve ever heard of in terms of getting even…

Best of luck in Hello Kitty Hell. My boyfriend will meet you there soon.

This strategy may seem brilliant on the surface, but it would mean you would have to turn into a Hello Kitty fanatic. While I certainly live in a Hello Kitty Hell, at least I’m aware of this fact unlike the fanatics that actually believe that Hello Kitty is great. If you can’t delude yourself, then you are creating the same Hello Kitty Hell for yourself as your boyfriend, which I suppose would be proper punishment for even trying to think up something like this…

Dear Sir,

Every day I think to myself, “At least my view of humanity is so low, it cannot get much lower.” Sadly, I usually am proven wrong by something in the news or in my everyday dealings with people. And sometimes I even wonder what’s the point of soldiering on in such a world. But then I look at your life and your blog and how you must battle the demon Hello Kitty, and I am inspired. If you can deal with that thing in your life day in and out (and love your wife so much that you put up with it), then I can deal with the failings of humanity I run across, which are generally less horrifying than Hello Kitty. For that, I thank you, good sir. Should our paths ever cross, I will buy you enough drinks that you may forget the feline for a brief while.



As long as there is no Hello Kitty alcohol involved in the process, I will certainly take you up on your offer…

God you poor guy. I am worried about my 6 year old nephew he loves hello kitty. Its a freakin cult his father is very against it but his mother thinks its cute and buys him everything HK. Back packs, stuffed toys, lunch boxes, ect. What if he growes up to be a serial killer or a Hello Kitty collector [AAHHHH}. – BACHMAYER

Let’s all hope for the less of the two evils and he only becomes a serial killer…

19 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Hell Emails”

  1. Hello kitty should never be used as a punishment, it is too inhumane. I feel bad for the guy who’s nephew likes HK, hopefully its just a phase and the boy will grow out of it.

  2. That the first letter writer is even considering handling the rough spots in her relationship by hoarding items primarily aimed at pre-pubescents says it all.

    (If she reads this: you would do well to actually communicate how you feel and what you want him to do instead, not obsess about “getting even” like some spoiled little six-year old. )

  3. Oh, my God, when I first arrived at this blog via Cake Wrecks I went all the way back to the beginning, from your first post, and still realize that I have viewed but a minor glimpse into your hellish life.

    At first I pitied you, like so many others that came before, but then I thought about it. You are truly a great man for putting up with all of this, even if you have this website, the bravery and relative tolerance you show as opposed to so many others, including myself, who would have some serious self-defenestration going on. Even if I know Japanese apartments sometimes don’t have windows.

    Also, I’m a student that takes Japanese, so all the Hello Kitty stuff you post that has Japanese on it, and the videos that are in Japanese, I can understand, it just makes it that much worse.

  4. Wow, I beat Darlene to the comment section.
    Darlene you obviously have issues, ‘kay?
    I think that theese letter writers have the right frame of mind about hk. I also don’t think hk as a punishment is fair. And any women who encourages her son to obsess over hk is warped.

  5. What is wrong with your? You have definitely taken things too far with your comments this time and exposed yourself to the truly pitiful man that you are that doesn’t care about a thing but himself!

    What is exactly wrong with a woman who wants to give her son all the love and kindness of Hello Kitty? By giving him a good roll model to emulate, he will grow up to me a strong man with love in his heart and no masculinity issues like so many others. All little boys should be exposed to Hello Kitty and the love she shares and the world would be a better place.

    But you compare that to a serial killer which goes beyond decency. Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mean bone in her body and even with all the rude and terrible things you have said about her, she would still accept you with love if you changed your mind. The only one that acts like a serial killer is you with all the hatred that you have in your heart.

    You owe all of us a huge apology because without all the Hello Kitty fans, this blog would be nothing.

  6. Darlene is the worst troll ever. I like Hello Kitty & I’m still wishing she’s trip & fall on something that would impair her ability to use a computer for life.

  7. Like a 6 foot metal spike…

    A male friend of mine at that age was seriously into Barbie. He has a wonderful partner now. However if he’d been into HK I don’t care if he was homosexual, he’d have been throttled for bad taste.

    And that first woman is going to find herself single very quickly, revenge is fun, but thats just childish.

  8. Hello Kitty can be bought in moderation. I have a few nice HK items looks cute and can spice up a relationship. Doesn’t have to be fanatical! 🙂

  9. Mr. HKH, you make an awesome blog – I think the most amusing I’ve ever read.

    I must ask, do you find Darlene to be as incredibly amusing as I do?

  10. I must ask, do you find Darlene to be as incredibly amusing as I do?

    Although a bit on the extreme side, she seems to be a typical Hello Kitty fanatic which I do my best to completely ignore in order to keep my sanity and believe there is still hope in the world…

  11. Boy, some people really can rant and rave… (Begins with a D, ends with an e…)

    1. Why not laugh instead ? I think that is the point of this blog. (read the disclaimer until it sinks in )

    2. Hello Kitty is a cartoon character, therefore her feelings cannot be hurt, so why so darn angry anyway ?

    3. I would like to know who is in charge of marketing Hello Kitty…they are advertising geniuses !!!

    4. Why didn’t I buy stock in Sanrio 30 years ago ?

    5. Instead of coming here to be tortured, why don’t the ranters and ravers go and make a blog called “Hello Kitty Heaven” instead ???…just wondering !

    I think we all know the answer to #5 ! LOL

  12. Hello Kitty fanatics you’re extremly annoying. Go away, nobody want you around (‘specially you darlene go to hell!). no offense to your wife Mr. HKH.

  13. This has become my favorite blog site. I want to know why HK has no mouth?
    If I gave my son a HK I know what he would do with it. He would get some picaloe petes and blast HK to bits. I really want to find one for him now and video the *experiment*!

  14. A six year old really doesn’t grasp the concept of differences between the sexes, he most like snap out if it soon. Then agin……

  15. darlene, the good role model made a vibrator, runs an S/M suite in a hotel and makes beer and wine. That is, if she were real…
    Anyhows, what my point is, how can this be a good role model to 6yearolds?
    Alcohol and sex are things kids shouldn’t know about until they’re teens (or mature preteens in the least) and guns are just… uhm.. pointless
    I don’t see how she is such a great role model

    “Let’s all hope for the less of the two evils and he only becomes a serial killer…”
    Roflcopter goes chopchopchop!

  16. I say the boy ought to get a platoon of G.I. Joes and stage a HK-G.I. Joe war for supremecy! Hello Kitty’s got heavy artillery, she’ll be fine.


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