Hello Kitty The Simpsons Dungeon

It’s nice to know that there are others out there that know the true fear that Hello Kitty should install in all of us. If you were to create the scariest dungeon imaginable, it would be a lot easier than most people imagine — simply fill it with Hello Kitty. The Simpsons agree with me:


It is scenes like this that it becomes clear that Hello Kitty fanatics and normal people will never be able to bridge the gap in the reality they perceive. My wife took one look at this and loved it — she thought it would be a wonderful place to visit or live. I, like any sane person, instantly recognize this as a typical scene from my worst nightmares and the ultimate doom I’m likely to face in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Nina, who must certainly be a typical Hello Kitty fanatic (and thus is doing far more punishment to herself than I could ever wish upon her) with the question that accompanied this screenshot:

Dear Mr. Kitty Hell,

I recently read your “Where to find Hello Kitty Converse” blog and I’m still confused about the directions you’ve given out. I am indeed one of those whiners who want to know where to get nearly everything blogged about. If you could take the time to answer my question I would appreciate where to get the converse shoes…

The sad thing is that I still get similar questions on a regular basis — enough that I actually want them to stop bugging me. Anyone care to break the harsh Hello Kitty Hell reality and enlighten her and all those that are still confused?

29 thoughts on “Hello Kitty The Simpsons Dungeon”

  1. That is just terrifying. I just came across your blog and would like to thank you for venting. As much as my life sucks at the moment, I at least do not live in a Hello Kitty dungeon.

  2. This is sad. You are so lucky to have so much Hello Kitty around you and you can’t appreciate all its benefits.

    I’m sure you’ll appreciate what you have, one day. I hope it won’t be too late.

  3. I really don’t understand why Hello Kitty lovers read this blog and then get offended by it. Seriously. I like Hello Kitty* but if you’re going to get offended by something called ‘Hello Kitty Hell’ then don’t read it 😐

    *Note; don’t LOVE it…

  4. To everyone who constantly asks the question “Where can I find” X, I have one word for you. eBay. Chances are almost 100% that if there is something you want, someone else is trying to get rid of it on eBay.

  5. Haha, I find that picture funny, yet accurate.
    And I think that lady who sent in the converse email is a crazy lunatic whose life must be so good that the “worst” thing in it has been her lack of shoes.

    Lastly, I think hk is cute and occasionally buy, but for the braindead fanatics, his whining blog means he’s not going to tell you so STOP asking/whining/exploding for no reason. Not sure if any of you noticed, but this blog is to document the craziness hk seems to invoke in some, and this guy hates hk with a passion, and I don’t blame him.

    @HKH~ Loving the blog I just discovered yesterday, and you have opened my eyes to how scary ANY obsession can get.

  6. That’s not a dungeon! It’s a room filled with Hello Kitty which I must say looks nice. Where do you get off trying to manipulate reality by using derogatory terms like dungeon in association with Hello Kitty? You have to use terms like “dungeon” instead of “room” because you know that if you say the truth nobody will see anything wrong with it and your entire rant will have no meaning. Well, you have been caught and now all can see that you are manipulating reality to try and make a false point.

    Why can’t you get it through your head that people like to have Hello Kitty in their life because it makes them feel good and loved? Anyone would love to have a room filled with hello Kitty because that would be the happiest place on earth. Oh, I forgot. You want to be miserable!

  7. Dalrne & Marlene, go screw a lamposts dear and find out what a sex life is.

    I just don’t get why these HK Lovers come on here then get offended. WE HATE THE FOOKIN CAT! GET OVER IT! Some of us actually have boyfriends as well.

  8. It could be worse. I hate the cat that digs and goes to the lavatory in my garden. That cat will soon learn the indignity of a blast from a water pistol up its backside. Just as soon as I buy a water pistol. At least Hello Kitty does not go to the lavatory in anyones garden. Okay, now to find a Hello Kitty water pistol on Ebay…

  9. I like hk and Im not offended. In fact, I love this blog. I think it’s funny.
    Does anybody think that darlene is mr.hk’s wife? she writes comments very early or very late . . .

    By the way . . . The hks are definetley fake. they are photo shopped in their

  10. They are not fake. In that episode, Marge decided that Bart’s online castle would look much better with a feminine touch and added all of the Hello Kitty touches.

    I just want to say that I love the blog, I love Hello Kitty, and I don’t even read any post written by darlene.

  11. My daughter loves Hello Kitty, I think its frankly creepy. I love this blog. And I have to say, if Hello Kitty people want to find the stuff on this blog so bad, they can get off there plush Hello Kitty pillows and look it up on a search engine like everyone else does.
    Just cause they are too lazy to look is no reason to bug the Hello Kitty Hell out of you. I mean really people, would Hello Kitty be this blooming lazy if she wanted to find something. Give the guy a break.

  12. Rhyming names, bizarre proselytizing of the kitty kind, staunchly defending Hello Kitty on an anti-Hello Kitty Blog… I think Marlene is someone parodying darlene’s lack of sanity and good taste.

    And Isabelle, he writes in the FAQ that darlene is not his wife, so there goes that theory. Ordinarily I’d say she’s a good troll, but with the amount of time and effort she spends commenting on this blog I think it’s more than safe to say that she’s just a random obsessed lunatic.

  13. Are Hello Kitty Fantacis too stupid to figure out how to use this thing called “Google” to find out where to buy HK Converse shoes? Are they serious? Geez.

    Other than that, pretty cute Dungeon. Bwahahahaha…

  14. There are still people who haven’t figured out that the blog posted on April 1 promising to “tell people where to find Hello Kitty merchandise” was an April Fool’s joke? Seriously?

  15. So, how hard is it, really, to type “Hello Kitty Converse” into Google or your seach engine of choice? I’m ashamed to say I did just that, (now my machine is sullied forever. Even though I’ll clear the cache before I turned it off, I’ll still have the memory of doing the typing) and came up with three different on-line stores selling the things. Because I respect myself, and HKH too much, I’ll refrain from reporting what they are.

  16. First time posting, but have already read much of your hilarious site. I am no fan of Hello Kitty and cannot, for the life of me, understand why it continues to be so popular. A little kitsch, sure. Tattoos? Garage doors? Cakes? Someone is smoking crack.

    To see the video clip of this Simpsons episode (in German), //www.myvideo.de/watch/2964868/Hello_Kitty_Simpsons Best for watching Bart freak out over what Madge has done

  17. Just for fun I did use Google and other search engines to find the HK Converse. A few pictures showed up but there isn’t any information of telling readers where to buy them shoes. Only pictures.
    Nice website HKH.
    Since your wife loves HK so much maybe one day she would turn your house into this one. A HK dream house. Now THAT would be HELL
    Have a nice day!

  18. darlene, I am sure that even if he had written ‘beautiful gorgeous room of wonders’ the picture would have still been as traumataizing, if not, worse

  19. It’s a bit sad and pathetic, how many people come here just so they can say that a cartoon character is ‘evil.’ So, apperently, it’s more painful for some people, even the rare grown men on this blog, to sleep with a simple Hello Kitty keychain or pen sitting in their room somewhere behind a dresser than to drink hot bacon grease. Come on, first we have a bunch of Hello Kitty Fans whining because they’re at a blog devoted to hating Hello KItty and not the Hello Kitty hotline to find Hello Kitty stuff. Then we have all these people who act like they’re so much better because they don’t like the thought of Hello Kitty, because she’s ‘evil.’ Well, to the whiners, go somewhere where people like you, like Sanrio, and to the people who think Hello Kitty is evil, she’s only a cartoon character you don’t like. Hello Kitty isn’t evil because some guy is surrounded by her. And besides, if hello kitty wanted to rule the world you would think she’d be smart enough to realize, after 35 years that you can’t rule the world selling products.


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